Twisted hearts desire - discreet massager discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by Intersexy

I think I had the same initial reaction of everyone else upon seeing this vibe, which was, "What is this and where do you even put it?" It came with no product recommendations and only had one other review, so I decided to be adventurous and figure it out.

The Twisted Hearts Desire's flared tips are quite obviously not designed for penetrative use. As the box says, there is a bullet vibe motor located in each tip. These vibrating nubs can be pressed against one or two areas at a time, such as clit/vaginal opening or vaginal opening/perineum or perineum/anus. The nubs are too close together to mimic the gentle probing of a double penetration vibe, but still provide an interesting dual sensation.

I'll preface this with saying I'm generally afraid of putting any soft material less safe than medical grade silicone near my genitals, and I realized I was really branching out by going with a less body-safe material. The Twisted Hearts Desire vibrating nubs are made of TPR-coated plastic. TPR is similar to silicone in texture, being silky smooth and slightly grabby, and lacks the unpleasant smell that most silicone products have when new. Right off the bat, I noticed a flaw in the surface of the TPR. I thought maybe this flaw was just an indentation from that packaging, but upon inspection realized it was an actual manufacturing flaw. As someone who is wary of what materials I let touch me, this was more than a little unnerving. The quality of the coating isn't so great, as the white plastic is visible at the seams and it dents quite easily. During use, the TPR seems to dull the vibrations a little the same way silicone does, but the coating isn't very thick.

The plastic base was pleasantly unscented and seemed to be thicker than the plastic in my other toys. On the downside, the seams were plainly visible on the base. Between the base seams, knob seam, and plastic seam between the two nubs, this thing seems like kind of a germ magnet. It's easy to rinse off, but I imagine deep cleaning this thing would be a nightmare.

The shape of this toy is mighty baffling. I think the other reviews and ratings on this site reflect that. It's allegedly supposed to look like two hearts, but even my partner remarked right off the bat "That looks like a dog bone!" As someone with a dog, I find this shape a little bit unsettling. It looks like a big, plastic dog bone. This might even be mistaken for a vibrating dog toy. The point is, it's not discreet. It's not travel-friendly as the material is a lint magnet. This toy is straight-up weird looking.

All that being said, I actually found that I like this shape (at least for the vibrating nubs). It allows you to provide heavy pressure and vibrations for two areas at once, provided these areas are relatively close together. I think thinner users might appreciate a toy with smaller nubs. For comparison, the nubs are about the diameter of a penile glans. Definitely not the size most people want in a bullet. The shape of the handle seems to be a purely aesthetic choice. Slippery plastic is difficult to hold onto as it is, and the awkward bone/heart shape makes it even harder (may I suggest using your thighs instead?).

The vibrations are located in the tips of both nubs, and the vibrations actually increase in intensity when you apply pressure, unlike other toys that get bogged down by too much silicone. The upside of this is steady, heavy pressure wherever you want it. The downside is that it may not be powerful enough without applying significant pressure. Additionally, you have to have both nubs on at the same time. Although the vibrations in this toy aren't particularly strong, they really do increase intensity as you increase pressure. If you like squeezing toys against yourself or between your thighs, then you will get the most out of the Twisted Hearts Desire. If you like to set something on top of yourself and let it do the work, that's not gonna work for this.

The controls are surprisingly simplistic if hard to figure out. The control end consists of a screw-on ring that closes the battery compartment. Once that is fully twisted closed, the bone/heart end continue to twist to turn the toy on. The problem with this screw-ring/bone-handle is that when turning the toy off, you can accidentally overtwist and open the toy, sending batteries out and sending lube or bathwater into your battery compartment. Scary! As the toy came with no instructions, I had to fumble through figuring out that you could have the batteries in WITHOUT the vibe turning on. The toy has a mild change in intensity as you turn the knob higher, but not as pronounced as other vibes with push-button adjustment.

Maybe it's because Doc Johnson is more interested in having a large catalog than quality toys, but the loudness is a serious drawback. I couldn't find any way to muffle the sound. It sounds like a really cheap buzzy finger vibe, like the batteries are rattling around or something. The only place I could really tolerate using this is in the shower or while running a bath, just to cover up the sound.

The TPR coating of the Twisted Hearts Desire is compatible with all lubes, giving it an advantage over silicone for those who like silicone-based lubricants. Unlike silicone, you can't boil it, so that's definitely a drawback. Cleanup for this toy involves using antibacterial toy cleaner. You can run the whole toy under the tap as it's waterproof, but given all the hard to get into areas, this thing should be deep cleaned fairly often. Maybe it's just me being germophobic, but the plastic seam detail between the nubs should be q-tipped or waterpik'ed or something after every use.

The only place I can figure out to store it is inside of the original hard-shell plastic tray it came in. The material is just too sticky and will collect fuzz like nobody's business.

The toy's see-through screenprinted packaging that said "Made by Women for Women" made it pretty clear that is was some kind of sexy vibrating device. The box itself is probably too big to keep in your toy chest, but it can at least be stored in the plastic tray.

There are literally no instructions, so you're kind of on your own. I personally felt that even turning it on was a bit of a challenge, so at least it will force you to get creative.

From the packaging to the weird shape, to the mysterious lack of reviews, the Twisted Hearts Desire is for people who want an adventure (and who aren't afraid of things that look like dog toys). It will force you to get creative. I was glad I picked it up on sale, and this might even become a favorite toy for someone who likes pulsing, heavy vibrations. Doc Johnson seemed to grasp the basic aesthetic of higher-end toys, but this one is still pretty out there.