The best use for this toy is simulating rough sex.

Okay maybe not entirely. It's pretty good for erogenous and clitoral stimulation, too.

People who will want to try this toy are experienced texture lovers, sadistic bastards and die-hard masochists. And people who like having sex with ghummies, mumosts and macaroni. And enjoy playing Atari. Mostly.

The best part about this toy, though, is that it's rechargeable. That means that, despite the price tag, you're gonna save quite a bit of money in the long run if it turns out you like it.

Benjy's made of 100% medical grade silicone. That means he's phthalates and latex free, and hypoallergenic. And he's nonporous, so he can be shared between orifices and partners.

It doesn't smell or taste like anything. Or it didn't till I used Climax Bursts Toy Cleaner on it. Now it smells like soapy Sprite. That stuff's smell hangs around forever!

He's kinda dense, but super squishy and flexible. His surface isn't really sticky, but it does sort of cling to skin. And it attracts pretty much everything. What's weird about silicone (mostly Fun Factory silicone, but occasionally other brands as well) is that it feels almost like your TV if you haven't discharged the static build up on the front in a while. All fuzzy and bizarre.

Benjy is eight inches long and an inch and a half in diameter at his widest point. He's got an insertable length of about five inches. The rest of the length is his handle.

The handle is firm and velvety, which helps quite a bit in preventing slippage. Located in the middle is a joystick and a button. The button turns the toy on and off, and the joystick controls the settings. Pull down to increase the settings and push up to decrease them.

He is quite textured, being wrapped from shoulders to handle in bandages. He's got all sorts of ribs turned every which way.

I still say the bandages Benjy's wrapped in make him a mummy, not a ghost. But he does have a cute Casper-like face. So maybe he's a ghummy? Or mumost? Either way, his bandages look more like one big long strand of hollow pasta than bandages. I mean, that doesn't take away from his aesthetics, at all. Benjy is hopelessly adorable whatever you call him.

This vibe's got (by my count) six vibration strengths and three pulsation variables located in or near the head. They're deep, and rumbly, and pretty powerful. And they diffuse nicely along the head and shaft.

The controls are easy to figure out, and a snap to use. They just require a bit of muscle and pre-existing nerve damage in which ever finger you choose to use to operate them. While this does make it impossible to accidentally bump Benjy into a different setting, it also bruises my thumb every time.

Maybe that's just me.

Benjy's rather quiet, even on his highest setting. I mean, your partner might hear him if you're laying in bed together, but a sleeping roommate probably won't. And definitely no one in the room next door, or outside knocking, is going to hear Benjy.

He's a snap to charge. Just plug his charger into the wall and rest him in the base facing the tall side of the charger (joystick goes in da hole). If he's not fully charged when you receive him, leave him there over night for best results.

There are explicit instructions in the package for this toy. Be sure to read them carefully before using it. I'll cover some of them here.

Wash Benjy with a toy cleaner, or antibacterial soap. Or just wipe him down with a 10% bleach solution. You're probably going to want to use a washcloth or something no matter how you clean Benjy, though, so you can be sure to get all the cracks clean.

Benjy requires discharging completely every couple months or so to maintain his battery. It's as easy as turning him on, and leaving him on until he stops working. However, he seems to have a built in function that shuts him off if he's been running too long. I don't remember reading about that in the user manual, and it's possible it was just doing that thing so many batteries tend to do. You know how they run out, but if you leave them off for a while, they miraculously regain some of their charge? In any case, I kept forgetting to check on him (He was about three feet away from me and the house was silent. That's how quiet he is.) to see if he was still running, so it took me about 48 hours to discharge him completely the first time.

You can leave Benjy on his charger without fear of overcharging. Matter of fact, most people I know who love Benjy recommend always leaving him on his charger. They say that if you don't, he loses a charge rather quickly, which costs in precious power and length of masturbation time. So I leave mine on the charger unless I'm not paying attention when M goes unplugging things all willy-nilly without checking to see what they're attached to. For the record, though, I haven't noticed any immediate loss of charge. It seems to take a day or more, at least.

Do not submerge in boiling water. Don't put him in the dishwasher. Use only water based lube.

Benjamin Bond came in the usual tan and red box that most Fun Factory stuff comes in. He and his charger were nestled in molded plastic for protection. And he came with explicit instructions and a sample package of Toyfluid.

Benjy and I just aren't really meant to be.

It's so bizarre. I mean, the first toy M ever bought me was a jelly ribbed vibrator, and I loved it. The entire shaft is ribbed, and the texture isn't all that different from Benjy. And besides, I'm the girl who reviewed (and still uses, on occasion) the Large Big Stuff by Doc Johnson, and yet Benjy really hurts me. Like, in a way I can't get into, or get around, no matter what I try.

While his vibrations are pretty spectacular, I can't stand how hard it is to control him. The joystick is pretty difficult to pull down, and even harder to push up. Cleaning him can be a pain in the ass because of all the little crooks and nannies.

We're just not meant to be.