Fuck me silly mega masturbator - realistic vagina by Pipedream - review by Girth Cervixbumper

Feels as good as, or even BETTER than, real!

I think it's well worth the money, but I'd try to catch it on sale or maybe wait for the price to come down.
The feel & the look
The container & the weight
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


It feels amazing & the inertia caused by the weight is part of the reason.

But weight is also its biggest problem. It can make positioning more difficult than usual. However that is a minor concern. I have read complaints about other products of similar material tearing. That being the case [& especially considering price]

I would say err on the side of caution: NEVER PICK IT UP WITH JUST ONE HAND - ALWAYS USE BOTH. Another thing: the only bed this thing is going to fit under is the TOP BUNK. Its shortest dimension is still 10 inches, so it wouldn't fit under any bed I've ever had.

My suggestion: take off the outer box (if you don't want to advertise) & leave the FMS-1, as I now call it, in the blank, contoured styrofoam container ON THE FLOOR. Use your imagination & visualize taking it off the overhead shelf - it weighs more than a bowling ball. The perfect owner would be someone who lives solo & is between relationships, or after an argument, if in one.

It is freestanding in multiple positions see pictures. Which reminds me, the channels meet & continue through, so keep that in mind before cleaning - in one position the front is downhill - in the other, it's the back.

For use, I would suggest selecting a surface that is at just the right height if you don't want a leg cramp.(That assumes that you'll be standing, of course). I haven't tried it with myself horizontal yet, but trust me, I'll get to it. As soon as possible, in fact...
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Single straight men & men in relationshps who's wife/gf have less libido.
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • On a bed only
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Not travel friendly

Material / Texture

Ambient room temperature leaves it a bit clammy, but that is the ONLY problem. Otherwise, IT IS PERFECT!(Sure it's heavy, but to be that realistic, it HAS to be.) The heft may very well enhance the material's "response".

She's smooth, makes a great sound when smacked on the ass & can't get her feelings hurt by insensitive advertising.
    • No odor
    • Smooth
    • Textured interior

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

I thought the design was amazingly accurate & found myself wondering if they could do an entire body. Then, as if psychic, in a matter of weeks they came out with the FMS-3, which gets them halfway there. EVERYONE will love the feel & EVERYONE will quickly learn that, because of its size, it won't be easy to hide. As far as travel goes, I'd say from storage place to usage place to cleaning place & back to storage. DON'T go on the road with it: in the container, it's the size of a small ottoman or styrofoam cooler.
    • Ergonomic
    • Realistic
    • Will fit most people

Functions / Performance / Controls

There are no moving parts or electronics, so there's nothing to go wrong. The feel, the weight & the size are all realistic OR BETTER. The ambient room temperature, not so much. Maybe they'll figure out a way to safely heat TPE, but don't hold your breath. If you have the right size container, letting it soak in hot water just beforehand is a good workaround.
    • Easy to use
    • Feels realistic
    • Very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS & BE CAREFUL WITH THE CONTAINER, you may need to use it too. Use water based lube & CLEAN it. It comes with samples for BOTH.
    • Difficult to store
    • Easy to clean


Considering the weight, something more sturdy than styrofoam would be a good idea. Even offering a container you could purchase, would be a good idea.
    • Not discreet
    • Good for storage if you remove the outer box.

Personal comments

I'd suggest to anyone that feels they need something in this category, BUY THIS ONE. But, maybe think about storage a bit first.


The first time I used it, I had the best one I've had in years; literally. Yes, I DO know what the word means (prescriptions, BPH, time between relationships).
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This review was edited by
  • wrmbreze wrmbreze
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Do you like this review?
  • minstrel69
    Thanks! Need to get one of these!
  • Martiniman
    Great review, thanks!
  • Steve99
    Great review
  • Evol
  • karenm
    Thanks for your review!
  • Lowl
    thanx for sharing
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