Kaylani's futurotic doggie mast - masturbator by Cal Exotics - review by Sexual Engineer

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I hope this doesn't represent the future?

Sometimes I find it disheartening to know that a product proclaims on the box that it is is American made and then the product is a P.O.S. Sadly that is exactly what it is, coming from a man who experienced multiple kinds of masturbation aides and this, this my consumers is the worst sensation of them all: a lack thereof. To be frankly honest with you, I would have almost enjoyed one of those water tube toys more than this product if it had not been for the average sex appeal of the product.
If you find any, let me know please.
Impossible to get into, no internal texture, shoddy construction, inside never dries after cleaning.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


The 'Aim' of this product is to attempt to stimulate the gland known as the penis. This joke of a product you hold in your hand rendering your once decent masturbation tool nearly ineffective. This toy could be used by people who have money to waste. Never use this toy.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Men
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

The 'Futrotic' material is, well, horrible to use, at least in the way this product has been formed. Yes it does feel a little like human flesh, be it really flabby flesh but nonetheless the material coupled with a lack of internal texture yielded to me and another unnamed tester whom I lent the product to, (post cleaning) a less than satisfying experience. In addition to the lack of stimulation that the product provided, the material is one of the most impossibly fragile polymer chain based material that is also quite difficult to clean fully of all semen, something not demonstrated in the video review for obvious reasons.
    • Light odor
    • Porous
    • Sticky

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The design, meant to be sexually appealing, appears as though it does this partially since all the bits of the human body are in their correct place and hey, it is a miniature hot porn star so that is cool. In terms of size, it does fit well in the hand. For fit I must begin to really say the worst things about this product, I am a 'average to thin' guy with a circumference of around 3.5" and this product was nearly impossible to fit over the head of my penis. It involved forcing a lubed up finger into the orifice and then another and then pulling it open and shoving my cock in.
    • Beginner
    • May be too tight for some
    • Whimsical / artistic

Care and Maintenance

IF you are to buy this product I would suggest cleaning it with maybe a enema bulb as it is one of the only ways I found to clean the product effectively. The inside of the product really just never dries no matter where you put it as the canal is always fully closed with no natural width to it.

Personal comments

I hate to have to write a review like this, but to be honest with you, the consumer, be you a male or a female purchasing for a male, I would NOT recommend this product. Save yourself a little money and use your hands or other means or simply dish out a little more money and buy a decent male masturbation aid. To date this is the only sex toy I have chosen to throw out as usually I keep toys even if they are not that good but this one it was just plain bad.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • ~LaUr3n~
    Wow, sounds like an all around crappy product. That hole is TEEEEENNNNY.
  • Alan & Michele
    Well, it could be a cute dashboard ornament at least (lol). Good review!
  • Sexual Engineer
    A rather scary ornament at that! lolz
    And yes Laur3n that hole is small...ridiculously small
  • Sammi
    Good review!
  • Sammi
    Good review!
  • Trashley
    Ugh. Thanks for the review.. Sorry it didn't work out for you.
  • Eliza
    This one looks scary. It sucks that it didn't work well, too.
  • oopsy
    Sounds awful. Thanks for the warning
  • Sexual Engineer
  • ~*Nikila*~
    Thanks I was thinking of buying this for my boyfriend but i will Never come near this page again THANK YOU
  • Blooddragon
    Thanks for saving me from getting this!
  • LavenderSkies
  • eroticmutt
    Sorry to hear it didn't go well
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