Stefani Morgan's pocket pal - realistic vagina discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by Sanctus Somnium

The Stefani Morgan Pocket Pal is at best a mediocre masturbation aide. At worse its a paperweight. A kinky paperweight, but a paperweight none-the-less. If you are looking for a quick nut then this should be fine, as long as you are not looking for complex feelings and sensations. I understand that since this is my first pocket toy then I should not expect an amazing experience, but for some reason I was expecting something a little more than a fleshy hole.

The hole was entirely too large, and offered NO resistance whatsoever. I may be thicker than normal but this is another thing altogether. It felt as if I was trying to have sex with a bowl of pink Jello. Hell, after using this toy that bowl of green Jello in my fridge is looking mighty appealing. This toy is made for horses. There is no other way to describe it.

However, if I was to honestly think of something good about it, then it would be the fact that it at least resembles a human vagina. Somewhat. Kinda.

The entire product is made of the UR3 Material. It is really really porous, which sucks when you have to clean it. It should be cleaned before and after you use it. Every time. No Exception. Warm water and a toy cleaner would be best but warm water and antibacterial soap is fine too. After each use, clean it and dust with a little cornstarch (not TALC as that will ruin your hoo-hoo) to stop it being sticky. Contact with silicone-based lube, oil lube or petroleum based lubes will mess it up. Use only water based lubes.

It has a soft chubby girl feel to the skin, although the ribs inside the pocket pal are almost non-existent.

Having wanted a pocket pal for the longest time, I was looking forward to reviewing this toy. I was ecstatic over receiving it and rushed to open the package. Upon opening it the first thing I noticed was the weight, which was not too heavy but not too light either. The Pocket Pal itself is alright looking. The colors were much better than the images on the site.

However I must say that I was supremely disappointed when I actually used it. Firstly, the entrance to the pussy was low on the pocket pal. Not only that but the hole was impossibly large to be of any viable use. On top of that the toy itself looks as if it might include an anal entrance. However, it does not so there is an over-abundance of UR3 just placed there at the top. Hell an anal entrance would have been greatly appreciated.

The entrance also has about 1/4" of space between the toy and whatever surface you have the toy placed on. So if your looking for a great time...stick it on some rocks.

My main problem with it is that it does indeed HAVE ridges, however the product stretches so easily that the ridges have almost no effect on a larger than average male.

As far as noise goes, unless you add a bullet to the end of the toy there is not much to expect. However, if you over lube it you will get an embarrassing and quite annoying queefing noise. Seriously, it sounds like two hogs going at it. Again I can not complain enough about the size of the entrance. It is deplorable. Full stop.

And to the person who labeled this as Ultra-Realistic....your an idiot. Like I said earlier. It feels like hard Jello. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.

Use only Silicone and Water based lubes.

Mild soap and water is all that is really needed to clean the Stafani Morgan Pocket Pal. Drying consists of blotting with a soft cloth, no paper towels.

Turning inside out to dry the inside is almost a battle in itself.

The box is very colorful with a lovely image of the toys namesake. That's really about it. Hell, it only came in a bag. Clear plastic even. The image does make it completely non-discreet though. You can use the package for storage but the box is so obvious it probably shouldn't be stored in it, but you can if you choose to.

In all honesty, I would not recommend this aide to ANYONE. But if I had to say something positive about it, it would have to be that the larger you are the better it will feel. So remember, if you could choke a donkey then this toy is for you.

I was just disappointed. Plain and simple. Doc, You Disappoint. Your really making me think about that lovely bowl of green Jello.