Make yourself feel big for $30!

So I was looking around to replenish my depleted supply of sleeves and being on a fairly tight budget I opted for this handy little triple-pack. Seemed like a good deal at the time; three toys for the price of one fairly good one, so I figured I'd get three times the play out of it. I am already familiar with the material used on some of my other sleeves, and being a lower-end-of-average male, these looked like they'd be a good fit.

These are cyberskin masturbaters, anyone will know how to use it properly; you stuff a cock into one end and after a bit of time white stuff comes out the other.

Or so it's hoped; frankly I had a hard enough time with it as you shall read below.

Cyberskin is a nice and soft material, with a bit of a rubbery feel and a matte appearance that mimics the texture of real skin. It's not quite as soft as actual skin is, but being a member of the male population means that so long as it isn't like fucking an inner tube, I'm all for it. Happily, cyberskin is quite pleasant to the touch. The interior of all three has some strong ribbing to them that can be quite pleasant when used slowly to savour each one bumping along one's important bits.

These three don't have much of an odour. I didn't notice it until I stuffed the unused one under my nose. When you are that close they smell fairly rubbery, but the scent doesn't stick to you and is impossible to detect when doing the serious business with them.

I'm not too sure about the colours though; I'm not much one for colour co-ordination so it doesn't bother me much, but having the pussy the same colour as my favourite muscle car was a bit off-putting. Others of a more insecure state of mind might be worried about the hot-pink lips stroker.

I have to say that the design of these toys is either the best thing or the very worst thing about them. For starts, these things are short - they literally fit in the palm of my hand. Admittedly I have fairly big hands, but there is a second and slightly more important gauge for length here, also taking up the palm of my hand at times.

Now, I have said it before and damned if I won't say it again because it's the only way I can avoid crying about it; I am not a big man in the trousers department. I am slightly less than the average male in both length and girth and found the two of these toys that I used to be frustrating to get into, frustrating to STAY inside of, and short enough for even my humble wang to pop out the opposite end of like some kind of demented video game character wearing a purple helmet.

The entrance on all three is a hole that a pencil would need lube to get into, and because these toys are so short that if you overstroke a bit, you pop right back out and have to spend the next ten seconds or so trying to get back in... Which becomes extremely difficult in real short order because all your lube pours out the other end into your hand, and there are no fucking grips on the outside of the damn thing to help you out so it's slipping in your grip, your dick is sliding all around the damn thing trying to find the hole, and you starts swearing real loud...

You ever try to wrestle with an overexcited pike in the bottom of a boat? Same deal, except here the fisherman would have the added problem of having some serious sexual frustration going on.

Yeah, I realize that is a horrible analogy, so moving on...

Performance wise, it's decent at best. The material is nice and the ribbing is quite good, but you can't lose yourself in the fantasy while you are using it, otherwise you will immediately overstroke with the little midget bastards and have to emerge from the reverie to stuff yourself back in. You have to stay conscious of just how you are using the toy itself to avoid this and that ruins quite a bit of the experience.

The shortness of these toys almost means you get to have your own little squishy recital every time you use these things, and you can't put a thumb over the back hole to reduce the noise because then you can't actually get a decent stroke in.

The best part of these is that you get three toys for the price of one, and using them makes you feel like a big man. The very worst is that you can only get yourself off with them, and it isn't even a very enjoyable job of it because you know that right after you will need to wash both hands, your crotch and possibly your clothing because the all three of them are a serious pain to try and control and will most like slip out of your grasp at some point.

Toys are open at both ends, making it a breeze to clean them. They don't even need to be turned inside-out for the cleaning or drying; I found that just standing them upright will let them dry out quite easily. The material itself isn't all that strong however; I have used the hotlips for the first time just this morning and the hole is already ripped.

I had just been storing them in that little clamshell holder they came in, but in short order I think they will be stored in the trashbin; I don't like being messy...

About as simple as you can imagine; white box with some writing on it, and at the bottom a rather attractive woman laying on her belly in a hunter-orange latex dress-type thing. I can't imagine it to be comfortable, but to each their own. She has nice teeth, mind...

Anyways, the packaging is just a holder for the clamshell, which has the toys on prominent display right where you can see them, all lined up and ready to go. Not much else to comment on; nothing here I can really make fun of, so onwards.

I honestly did not enjoy these. They are just too short even for me, and anyone with an average-or-bigger tommy will not enjoy these things unless they have a slightly masochistic streak and enjoy having to wrestle with the things after they get slimy from the lube and impossible to grip.

Into the trash they go...