Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage - book discontinued by Seal press - review by jedent

My husband and I both read this book, and let me tell you, I attacked a good number of pages with a highlighter.

The author discusses the various meanings of an open marriage by explaining her own personal experience in hers. The interesting part is that she does not get emotional like I have seen some writers do. She gives it to you straight and mulls over the insignificant stuff. This book is very matter-of-fact in that the author relies on research and often sites other works. That's not to say that she does not have an opinion, because obviously she does, as she is in an open marriage and she defends her right to do so. What she doesn't do is pine over the ones who have come and gone, or lash out at those who have called her a slut.

She encourages you to define your own marriage, and points out that human beings were never really meant to be monogamous. In the 1800's marriage was more about money and who you knew, and only around the turn of the century when people began reading novels did romantic love truly become a factor in marriage. Furthermore she explains that since the 1950's all we've ever really known was the stay at home mom, the hard working father, the 2.5 kids and the dog named Sparky. Therefore, in the society we have today this is the only thing we can see, which is why homosexuals and open marriages are seen as such a threat to "normal life”.

The author concludes with the notion that what goes on behind closed doors in ANY marriage is private, and an open marriage should be respected in the same manner. She tells us that we need different people for different things. In her situation where she loves her husband very very much, and they have a wonderful relationship, but he does not have the sex drive to keep up with hers.

My husband said that he liked the book so much that he wanted to read it again, because it was so clear and it was so much in tune with his own opinions. I enjoyed it because of her no bullshit approach to this sticky subject that, really, has been around for years, as the cheating statistics are sky high. People in an open marriage just make it known to one another by keeping all of their cards in view.

I've spread the word about this book and sometimes it pisses people off. Some days I think that society is open to Open Marriage, and other days I think it's like we're still living in the dark ages.

I still say the book was excellent as far as giving a no bullshit approach to the subject. I would recommend to anyone.