On Our Backs Guide To Lesbian Sex - guides to a better sex by Alyson Publications - review by Eden C.

The titles of the articles in this book remind me of the index of Cosmopolitan. It has how-to guides and celebrity interviews like a ladies magazine, and it is also full of generalizations (e.g. Why Does Sucking Cock Get You Off?).

The authors use the term 'dyke' to cover lesbian, bisexual, allied, genderqueer, transgendered, etc., men and women, as distinct from cismen and heterosexual ciswomen.

Like the On Our Backs magazine, featuring black and white photography of women I could truly believe are “dykes”. The models featured vary by gender, race, physique, and even age. The book is also full of reader's submissions, ensuring that anyone can find information she will relate to.

Chapter 1 opens with various tips on picking up women, useful whether you are painfully shy or a ladies' lady! Flirting Tips for Fat Girls carries a valuable message for any woman of any size- don't apologize for who you are! Chapter 1 also discusses online dating with a useful, up-to-date list of websites, where one can find relationships and hookups.

Chapters 2-3 cover masturbation, foreplay and oral sex. The tips are basic enough for a beginner, yet unique enough for the more “experienced” to get fresh ideas. The book includes guides to massage, tribadism (pussy-to-pussy contact), and foot worship, to name a few. The tribadism guide omits basic explanations regarding position, which is a major concern for many couples. There are two articles about breast play; Lesbian Breast Worship which assumes lesbians think breasts are a male obsession (I had never heard that) and a comprehensive guide that includes how to make a masculine-identifying butch of FTM transman feel comfortable during breast play.

Chapters 4-6 include comprehensive guides to pussy play, strap-ons, and anal sex. The articles have helpful and unique tips and information on shaving, different types of orgasms, giving hand jobs, finding the G-spot, strap-on dildoes, how to pack under clothing, anal sex, bondage, and erotic spanking.

Although I appreciated the anal chapter's comprehensive guide and tips, the rest of the chapter is saturated with the notion that anal play is for gay men, with charming articles like Handballing: It's Not Just for Fags Anymore! andRim Like a Gay Boy. I found that notion too outdated to be worth mentioning, making most of the chapter almost unreadable.

In addition to the guides on more “standard” activities, these chapters also contain guides to clit-pumping, fisting, needle play, erotic cutting/burning, and cunt torture, which were definitely not for everyone. After such extreme articles, I expected Chapter 8: Fun and Games: Fetish, Fantasy, and Roles to be a thorough exploration of fetish, but it was not. Most of the articles were about role-play. It was a disappointment after the shocking descriptions that preceded them. I would've appreciated information about more fetishes.

I was tempted to skip Chapter 9: So Many Dykes, So Little Time: Polyamory, Sex Parties, and Three-Ways, as I am not interested in polyamory, but I am glad I didn't. Make It a Three-Way outlines how a couple should go about having a threesome. The chapter also includes a guide to throwing a sex party and some steamy stories. This chapter is a must-read, even if you're monogamous!

Chapter 10: Lesbian Gender: Butch, Femme, and Beyond is an obligatory part to any lesbian sex guide, as gender presentation is so important in many lesbian communities. Shar Rednour and Kris Kovick open with jokes about butch and femme stereotypes, while Femmes: A Love Letter and Butch on Butch discuss, praise, and expand on those roles. The chapter also contains interviews with transgendered heroes like Leslie Feinberg, Joan Nestle, and Kate Bornstein. A Dyke's Guide to Fucking Genderfuckers is a really helpful guide for partners of transpeople, as many transpeople feel uncomfortable involving their genitals.

Chapter 11: Beyond the Bedroom discusses various issues affecting the lesbian community, including very helpful guides on Stds in the lesbian community, sex and disabilities, and sex over 40.

Chapter 12: On-Screen Sex opens with a guide for those who are new to porn. The following helpful articles list titles by category, including BBW, BDSM, vampires, etc. These lists are great for those who are tired of seeing only femme Barbie girls having fake sex in porn, so I was baffled that there was also a list of recommended mainstream titles. I looked into those films, and indeed, found more fake boobs and fake women, which I don't need a book to find. The chapter also includes suggested heterosexual and gay male porn titles. While I don't deny that some lesbians enjoy heterosexual and gay porn, the list was out of place. If I were looking for a list of good straight and gay male videos, I wouldn't be looking in a lesbian sex book.

It's a great book, but it's not the kind of book I would read again and again. I'm keeping it on my shelf for when I want to spice things up in the bedroom, but I probably won't be reading it very often.