What Men Really Want in Bed - book discontinued by Quiver - review by Lunacy Setting in

When I was younger I enjoyed reading the sex articles in my Mum's Cosmo and Glamour magazines with my friends, as I'm sure other EF reviewers did once upon a time. Of course, as I grew up and actually gained some sexual experience I realized how many of those articles were totally whack. Sometimes sex books give more reasonable-sounding advice, but other times they are just as whack, so I was intrigued to see what Cynthia Gentry's "What Men Really Want in Bed" had to say.

Gentry and her husband Nima Badiey "created an online survey that asked guys to talk about what they wish their wives and girlfriends knew about seduction, foreplay, oral sex, masturbation, intercourse, sexual positions, body image and more."

I was impressed with this book, while it wasn't "profound" for me, it was well-written and I can see how it would be useful for shy women and/or late bloomers. The oral sex chapter has quotes from guys saying "Show him you're enjoying yourself" or "Use some variety in your technique". The chapter about sex places a lot of emphasis on showing enthusiasm during sex; what positions the surveyed men preferred, and encouraging women to "speak up" about what they want in bed. At these sections and others in the book I found myself saying "Well, duh!" so perhaps I'm not the target audience for this book.

Each chapter has tips and a few small graphs showing some survey participants' responses to relevant questions, as well as tips from the authors or random pull out quotes that are relevant to the page. I found that all of them were pretty relevant.

I found two of the last three chapters to be the most useful for myself. Chapter eight, After the Deed, talk about how to react when you're dozing off to sleep in his bed or getting your clothes on in the kitchen. It tackles the varied emotional states guys enter after sex; whether they want to cuddle, sleep, get back home, or on rare occasions-chat. All of the above are supported by an anecdote or two from the authors and survey participants. The last few pages of the chapter discuss "what not to do" after sex. This includes lamenting your actions, asking him to be yours forever, and other somewhat obvious things. This list could be different for every relationship, but that's besides the point.

Chapter nine, Fantasy Island, gets into male sexual fantasies and assorted kinky fun; specifically men and porn, BDSM, role playing, videotaping, and how to talk about these with your man. The first section of the chapter is called "His Sexual Fantasies: What Men Wish Women Knew" and discusses "He has a lot of them, but that's okay," and- "Don't be threatened- they're called fantasies for a reason. He'd like to talk about them with you." The rest of the chapter discusses how to approach these fantasies with a man, how to embrace porn in a relationship, and what is important when choosing to act out a fantasy so it's enjoyable for everyone involved.

The language is serious without being too scientific, and for the most part it refrains from being too cheesy. There were a couple parts in the book where I started giggling because something just sounded strange, but nothing sticks out at the moment. I also never felt like I was reading a human biology textbook.

It is definitely geared toward straight women seeking straight men, but looking at it now I suppose gay men could find a useful idea or two in here. However, since I think it best suits shy women who might be sexual late bloomers, I say it would be most useful for shy gay guys or newly-out gay guys, if that makes any sense.

Overall I was impressed with the book. I am clearly not the target audience for it, but I would totally purchase it for any late bloomer or really shy friends. Actually, this kind of book would have been very nice to have around when I was 17 years old and wondering what to do with a guy. I'm giving the book four stars, because it didn't live up to its subtitle "The Surprising Secrets Men Wish Women Knew About Sex," but it was still well done and some women might find it useful.

I have since passed this book onto a friend who is a late bloomer and started dating a fellow last month. She has found it useful so far, so my high rating stands.