Gay Mans Kama Sutra - book by Thomas Dunne Books - review by Jul!a

Gay Mans Kama Sutra

Book by Thomas Dunne Books

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Gay Man's Kama Sutra

This is definitely a book the homophobic should shy away from. Filled with colorful illustrations depicting two men engaging in all sorts of acts, this book is very informative and educational. It reads very well, doesn't get so into detail that you can't follow anymore, and doesn't start talking to you like you're a 3rd grader.
Published:
Pros:
Well made, Very informative and interesting, Flows well, Easy to follow.
Cons:
Cover is not discreet in the least bit.
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review

About author

The author of this book is Terry Sanderson. He's one of Britain's best-known gay journalists, having written an influential column in Gay Times for almost twenty years. He has also authored several other best-selling self-help books for gay men, including How To Be A Happy Homosexual, The A-Z of Gay Sex, Making Gay Relationships Work, A Stranger in the Family - How to Cope if Your Child is Gay, Assertively Gay as well as the novels The Potts Correspondence and The Potts Papers. He has contributed to a number of well known magazines and newspapers and is active in gay politics, frequently speaking at events and conferences.

Content / Style / Audience

The Gay Man's Kama Sutra is quite apparently aimed at men who identify as homosexual. The whole book is written in a way that you feel as though you are an equal with the author. Nothing about the writing style is too clinical or too 'talking to a 3rd grader'. The entire book also contains interesting illustrations that do directly relate to the topic being discussed, such as an illustration of some of the Hijra while they were being discussed, and different positions for fellatio later on.

There are 5 chapters, including the introduction. The introduction is 10 pages long and covers topics like Vatsyayana, the original Kama Sutra, the caste system, Eunuchs and Hijras, The Code Of Manu, Sexual Tolerance, and Hinduism and Islam. You get a bit of history on where the original Kama Sutra came from and who created it, almost the equivalent of a full page on the Hijras, an all male religious sect in India made up of hermaphrodites, homosexuals, transvestites, transexuals, and other male sexual rejects, a bit on the types of punishments a male might have received for performing acts of homosexuality. The intro is short but to the point.

The next chapter is about 30 pages on being gay. It covers tantric sex, the gay experience, integrating our sexuality into our whole being, raising self esteem, open heart, healthy love, the male sexual impulse, sexual heroes, preferences, and safer sex and using condoms. This chapter starts off with what the original Kama Sutra expected of men to enrich their lives and become respected citizens. It touches briefly on tantric sex and says that they will include some elements of Tantra in the book, but for a more full exploration, you should seek out a specialist practitioner. The gay experience touches briefly on a few key points, one of them being that those who are sexually compulsive can be eventually overwhelmed by unhappiness and a sense of emotional isolation. This chapter also states (according to the author) that "True homosexual orientation means that a man not only seeks his sexual partners among other men, but he seeks to express his impulse to love and cherish in the same way. He sees his life partner as male." Sexual heroes touches on how while some men may fit the 'criteria' for perfection, this in no way means they aren't selfish lovers and intolerable as human beings. A true sexual hero is one who can charm his way into your affection, whatever his physical attributes or lack thereof may be. The book then goes on to talk about the different types of men such as the bear, the antelope, the lion, etc. The book then goes into awesome detail about how anal intercourse is the one act most likely to transmit HIV and therefore it is essential that a condom be worn at all times during this act. It give you ways to make dealing with a condom more ceremonial and meaningful to both partners.

On Preparing For Love is the next 32 page chapter, and it covers parts of the male body, body language, touch, the embraces, the different intensities of love, scratching and biting, rubbing, kissing, and love talk. Going into great detail about the different parts of the male body, you get 5 pages on the penis, 1 page on the balls, 4 pages on the anus, half a page for nipples, and 1 paragraph for other erogenous zones, this chapter is very informative right off the bat. How to read and speak body language, talking about the different kinds of touching and embracing are short but informative sections. The different intensities of love can easily translate to any couple, gay, straight, or any other pairing of human beings. Scratching and biting talks about how to make these 'painful' acts pleasurable, and even discusses how to leave patterns.

Preparing for love is followed by a chapter on Making Love. In 32 pages the author talks about masturbation, oral sex, positions for fellatio, anal intercourse, positions for anal intercourse, other novelties, group sex, relationships, and sexual problems. He talks briefly about masturbation, adding that mutual masturbation is a very common practice. There are 4 positions, along with demonstrations, provided for fellatio, which is covered in a few paragraphs. Anal intercourse talks about the best ways to make sure your partner is ready to receive you, and the book provides 14 different positions for this act, as well as some illustrations. Other novelties is a list of some other 'novel' suggestions, some requiring more than 2 partners to complete. The author devotes 5 1/2 pages to developing relationships.

The final chapter is On The Knowledge That Lovers Need. In these 32 pages the author talks about sexually transmitted diseases, beautifying and perfuming of the body, body hair, tattoos, piercing, the food of love, massage, sex toys, pornography, bisexuality, sadomasochism, fetishes, and the most potent sex organ. The section on STD's is very informative, giving you in paragraph form, a list of the most common ones caught along with symptoms and how to cure if there is one available. The section on tattoos talks about how you should only go to a reputable artist and not attempt any permanent tattoos on your own, and also talks about some things available for transfer tattoos for a more temporary approach. Piercing covers some of the more common male genital piercings, you should always use the highest quality jewelry possible and from a reputable source. The food of love talks about different aphrodisiacs as well as how diet can affect love life. The section on sex toys could be better. Instead of recommending only toys with large bases for anal use, they recommend always making sure a string or rope is handy. The author also suggests using a mild sterilizing solution like that used to clean babies bottles for cleaning dildos and all other anal toys. The book goes briefly into S&M, just enough for the reader to decide whether or not they would like to pursue more knowledge elsewhere. There is a brief section on fetishes that touches on the more common ones, leather, rubber, uniforms, etc, and you'll just have to read for yourself to find out what the author believes the most potent sex organ to be.

Design

This book came to me in a plastic bag, and once I removed that, I found a lovely hardcover book with a paper cover. The cover has all the author info, as well as the summary for the book. The front of the book features a slightly blurred black and white photo of two men kissing, along with the title and author name. The back has a more in depth summary that is designed to entice the looker at the book store into taking the book off the shelf and home with them.

The layout of the book was very easy to follow, with each individual point within a chapter having a bold header to let you know you were changing topics.

I think this book will hold up very well over time.
    • Diagrams / photos included
    • Not very discreet cover
    • Well made

Experience

As a straight woman with a lot of friends who identify as gay men, I found this book to be rather educational as well as easy to read and entertaining. It was very easy for me to sit down and read the whole book, although at a whopping 141 pages, that really wasn't all that difficult.

I think that some of the positions and other things talked about in this book could work well in a heterosexual relationship where the woman is pegging the man.

Some of my favorite parts of the book were reading in detail some of the positions I have no chance in hell of ever being able to participate in. Even if I did have a strap-on on, my stature prevents me from doing some of them.

This is a book I do highly recommend for anybody interested in learning about the culture of gay men, it was very interesting, covered a great detail of topics without getting too clinical or dumbing things down, and was also informative. I did initially buy this book as a birthday present for a gay friend of mine and at this point, don't have a gay man's perspective on the book. As soon as I do, I will report back.
Follow-up commentary
The friend I bought this for still has it, and still loves it. He hasn't brought it out in a while, but I know that it got plenty of reading and he'd still recommend it.
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Comments
  • ~LaUr3n~
    While there was a LOT of information here, I feel you were just listing until the end. I would have liked to see more opinion about the "correctness". But being a straight woman, I guess that's pretty difficult lol.
  • Jul!a
    I found that it's really hard to review a book without also giving the 5 page book report. Based on what I know about the culture of gay men, I found it to be fairly accurate, but like you said, not being a gay man myself, I can't attest to that at the moment. I tried to review and rate the book based as much on the quality of the content as I could, and as soon as I have a few gay men peruse it, I'll be back here to let everyone know what they think of it.
  • ......
    Very good review, thanks!
  • Jul!a
    Thanks Newme
  • Sammi
    Good review!
  • Jul!a
    Well he loved the book. I'm just waiting to hear back on how much he enjoyed reading it since all he did for about an hour after I gave it to him was flip through and look at the pictures, lol
  • fromazoo
    Great review
  • Jul!a
    Thanks
  • Zapples
    This book sounds genuinely compelling. The idea of developing "ways to make dealing with a condom more ceremonial and meaningful to both partners" is just such a noble idea. I would've loved this book just for the pictures, but thanks for recommending it as something much more worthwhile.
  • Jul!a
    I'm very glad I could help
  • arewehavingfun?
    I think anyone who loves a man can get tips from this book.
  • Jul!a
    I think I would agree with that.
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