Talk dirty to me Alexis Texas - audio erotica by Evolved Novelties - review by Hallmar82

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Horseshoes and Hand Grenades...

If you love Alexis Texas and want to hear her talking dirty to you, then this is your CD. If you're hoping to hear an erotic novella in which you're the star, keep looking. The Talk Dirty to Me CD can be used a great introduction to dirty talk if you or your partner is too shy to get into it. Later you could even use the CD to follow along with the actions and positions on the CD with your partner. Sadly the awkward editing and redundant voice acting keep this record from going golden.
Sexy voice of Alexis Texas, plenty of dirty talk
Editing of tracks create awkward pauses, dirty talk can be redundant
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
I had high hopes for this CD when I put it in. I'm an acousticophile who loves the hear the sultry sound of a sexy woman. However, as soon as the CD started the first words you'll hear are, "I'm gonna suck your cock" and is immediately followed by two minutes of slurping and sucking sounds for track #1. Really? Not even a "Hello sailor?" I felt a little disappointed and cheated. I don't like all sex porn, maybe you do. But when you don't have the benefit of looking at a svelte sexy body, all you have to use is your imagination. An erotic audio CD should be a little like an erotic novel. The story teller needs to provide a little background or some kind of introduction to set the mood and provide a personal connection. Sadly, this CD does not create a fantasy for you. The Talk Dirty to Me CD is more appropriately used for those who are already have their fantasy waiting for them in the bedroom and just want a little background sound.

Tracks 1, 2, and 3 are the first "position" of ten on the disc (24 tracks in all). The first track is mainly hearing Alexis Texas making sucking and slurping sounds. She doesn't say anything else after her first proclamation. Tracks 2 and 3 are a little better. She tells you how she wants you to come all over her face. Unfortunately, tracks 2 and 3 are quite short and the pauses between the tracks are rather annoying. The pauses between other tracks tend be noticeable at times too. Track 4 begins a regular intercourse track where Alexis does much more talking to you. Interesting, there are no other sounds that you hear. You don't hear the normal wet sloppy sounds of sex, leaving you wandering if she's really doing anything at all except talking into a microphone. After a few tracks, some of the sloppy sounds of sex start returning - as well as a male voice who doesn't do much but breathe or occasionally groan. Switching back and forth between the "sound effects" of sex may take away a little of the fantasy that you're trying to create while listening. With some of the longer tracks, though, you can get into the fantasy and can really enjoy listening to Alexis' dirty talk.

Although it may not bother you, one of my pet peeves in porn is when the actress makes a long, loud, and sharp intake of breath, "hhhfffssss!" You know that sound. We all make it from time to time. It usually precedes an excessively loud moan or groan of pleasure. Whereas I love to hear moans and groans over and over again, I don't like to hear the actress making that loud "ehfffsssss" inhaling sound over and over again. Alexis does this a lot in some tracks, but, thankfully, doesn't in most of them. The other little annoying thing that happens a lot in many tracks is that Alexis runs out of things to say and starts repeating herself. If you're having sex with someone else at the same time, then you probably won't notice the redundancy. However some tracks could benefit from a little more variety in the monologue.
Without creating much of a fantasy scenario for any of the "positions", the Talk Dirty to Me CD is really best used as background noise during your own sexual escapades. It could be used for the Mirror game though. In the Mirror game, you and your partner(s) mimic whatever the porn stars are doing. If they are doing it doggie style, you do it doggie style. Since Alexis usually tells you repeatedly (sometimes ad nauseum) what she wants you to do to her, it's not that hard to play the game. It may even be a little easier with just an audio CD because you don't have to turning around and looking at the TV all the time to see if the porn stars have changed positions. Instead, Alexis will tell you that you're doing something different at the beginning of a new track. Plus because you're not actually watching porn or the lovely Alexis Texas, many self-conscious women may be more open to trying the Mirror game.
Follow-up commentary
After listening to it a few times, I think my favorite tracks are the last three. These tracks have Alexis overlap her audio with another one, so it sounds like it's a threesome.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Talk dirty to me Alexis Texas tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Mood enhancer
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom / on a bed
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • General
    [ ? ]
    Other tags that are useful and descriptive for this product.
    • Audio
This review was edited by
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  • Upyourreviews
    Thanks for the info!
  • travelnurse
    Thanks for the review!
  • lorraine69
    nice Review
  • countrycutie
  • Zandrock
    Helpful review
  • KrissyNovacaine
    Thanks for the review!
  • April Lewis
    good info
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  • ShinySuicide
    Thanks for the review.
  • Lovely Jubblies
    Nice review even if I don't think this is something hubby or I would ever use. Thanks!
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