I bought a container of the Strawberry Flavored Climax Fruit Bomb lube|Climax® fruit bomb by Topco around the time I started dating my boyfriend. I wanted something that I could use with my hands, which would taste nice if the night progressed on to oral pleasures. The last thing I wanted to do was move from hand- to blow job only to be assaulted by a plastic, chemical-laden flavor on my tongue. I thought I had found the answer in this lube.

Let it be known to all, I did not.

No answer here, people. Why, you ask? This lube got incredibly sticky, incredibly fast. I couldn’t even use it for sexy hand-stroking, because it felt like my man’s cock was covered in Smucker’s strawberry preserves… and maybe even a little week-old honey. It made such a mess on my hands that the action had to stop, and, (luckily) we had a good laugh about it. I had to get up and promptly wash my hands because it had made such a tremendous gooey mess. In fact, I think there may still be a strawberry flavored hand print on the wall in his old bedroom; kind of like a grown up version of the Willy Wonka Snozzberry wallpaper.

Also, though the lube is packaged in a very aesthetically pleasing way (a small, round bottle with brightly colored lube inside and a pump to dispense the product), the pump and lid leak something awful; before I’d even had a chance to return this nightmare, it leaked all over the cup holder in my center console. Additionally, the product is relatively expensive at $15.99 - so I would, at least, expect a more liquid-tight container for that number of my hard-earned clams.

However, the lube was flavored well… no complaints there; the strawberry flavor tasted good and left no weird aftertaste in my mouth. Unfortunately, though, the combination of leaky packaging and absolutely ineffective performance earned this lube just one star.