Not all circumcisions are created equal; therefore not all jack-off creams are, either. This product is a wax, and so is most helpful for circumcised men who have especially tight skin—or a man willing to give up the mobility of a second hand in order to hold his skin taught. Perhaps this would be a great opportunity for a partner to join the fun. Nevertheless, I have a hard time imagining an uncut man gleaning much pleasure from this product; the looser the skin on your penis, the harder Instant Hand Job will be to use.

True to its advertising, it starts thick and stays thick—and so should you. Because of this, there is nothing “instant” about this hand-job. Being a wax, it cannot be applied to a soft or semi-hard penis—and it is so thick, the time it takes to rub in on a hard one could lead to the loss of erection. In order to use this cream, a man must already be hard, and far enough from orgasm to invest time in warming the wax. Once warmed to your body temperature, however, it will not cool or become sticky.

The uniqueness of this product is in its novelty. Its texture is thicker than petroleum jelly (note that is does include petroleum as an ingredient), but it is water-based. Once you have applied a generous serving to your friendly neighborhood penis, it will stay put. If you like the texture of melted wax, but are wary of the heat, this is a great choice.

Identified as “partner-safe,” it is uncertain if anal and/or vaginal sex is implied, or if one is being reminded that a hand-job from someone else is just as fun as solo. As an anal lube|Instant hand job, Instant Hand Job is just as awkward as it is on the penis. While thicker may be better for many types of sexual play, this is not one of them.