Recently, I purchased a pump for my partner, and in doing so, I read several things that suggested that lube is helpful in creating a good seal with a penis pump. To that end, I purchased Colt Pump Lube by California Exotics.

It turned out that we did not need it to achieve a good seal, and so we did not use it extensively with the pump. It is very thick, so I can see where it could be helpful in creating a good seal if you were having trouble. However, I’m not sure it would be worth it.

There is nothing even a tiny bit discreet about the packaging for this lube. It comes in a huge, plastic blister package. Being somewhat earth-conscious, I was disappointed in the amount of plastic used for this packaging. The 8 ounce bottle all by itself is a good 6 or 7 inches tall, and the packaging adds inches all-around. There is no passing this bottle off as anything but lube as the name Colt Pump Lube is printed on it in big black letters.

Let's start with the good: This lube is silicone-based and feels like it would last a long time. I spent a good deal of time rubbing it between my fingers to see how long it would last. It did not come off or dry out easily. It has absolutely no smell that I can detect. It is thick which some people consider a good thing.

Now the bad: My first impression, upon pouring out a few drops onto my fingers, was that it looked like cum and Elmer's glue. It looks, and honestly feels, a bit like a mix between cum and Elmer's glue. I’m not sure why you would end up with this in your mouth, but I like to be thorough, so I tasted it. It does not taste good. It’s probably not fit for human consumption though, so even if the taste did something for you, I wouldn’t recommend ingesting any lube that wasn’t labeled as edible.

I am generally good to go as natural lubrication goes, so I don’t end up using any lube for much of anything. However, when I do, I prefer something with a nice, smooth feel, and I like it to be light. I don’t like it when any part of my body feels coated in something sticky. This lube definitely had a sticky, rather than smooth, feel to it.

My partner did try it with his pump but disliked it for that for the same reasons I disliked it. He also felt it was sticky rather than slick and felt unpleasant in his hands and on his penis. As it is specifically a pump lube, I imagine the sticky feel is part of what helps to create the seal between the skin and pump. For that purpose, it is probably pretty good at what it does if you don’t mind the overall feel of it.

Still pretty gross. This has remained at the back of the drawer and is unlikely to ever be used again. Unless there was some freak lube emergency...what would constitute a lube emergency?