LUXE Euphoria - vibrating head massager discontinued by Cal Exotics - review by AlaskanBeauty

This is the first time that I am completely lost when I need to say something about a product. LUXE Euphoria is meant to be a clitoral vibrator, but because of its awkward shape and extremely weak vibrations, I doubt that anyone can actually benefit from using this toy.
Vibrations are so low that it can barely felt on the clitoris, which defeats the purpose...unless you are extremely sensitive to the point that you can climax from walking.
The odd shape will not allow you to use it vaginally or anally. It is hard enough to try to situate it around your clitoris as it is.
The toy is pretty bulky, which makes it very difficult to use it with a partner.
I would not recommend this toy to beginners either. If you are new to sex toys in general - look elsewhere and get a quality product that will not disappoint.

This toy is multi-material device. Half of it is the stiff velvety silicone, PU coated plastic in the handle area and the shiny silver-plated smooth plastic band that runs trough the middle around the toy.

The silicone part is very nice to the touch, but very firm and not bendable. It has very little to no give at all. The silicone part is that type of "buffed" or "sand-blasted" silicone, which makes it very plush. I did not notice it to be a lint magnet, and it does not attract dust and dirt as much as some other silicone toys do.
Plastic handle is sanded in the similar manner so the texture is pretty much the same throughout the toy, but handle is harder.
The middle band is plastic, painted silver to look like metal, which makes it look extremely cheap. The paint gets scratched very easily.

Toy has no smell or taste to it, and made out of philates free, hypo-allergenic, body safe materials. However as with any silicone toy only water based lube is recommend.

LUXE Euphoria is very oddly designed toy. It resembles a duck head with the beak that, I believe, is supposed to work for pin pointed stimulation.
The toy is approximately 5" long and 1 1/2" in diameter in the widest area - the "beak". Handle is pretty ergonomic, and I liked how it was very easy to hold it. However, the rounded "beak" part that is suppose to line up ergonomically with your clitoris just did not work for me at all. It felt like it was just not fitting my anatomy very well.
The toy's awkward shape reminded me of an old joke:
"A man comes to patent a shaving vending machine. The guy at the patent bureau asks him:
"So, and how exactly does this machine works?..."
Man: "Well, it looks just like your regular soda vending machine, it has a metal mask with the sharp blades in it. So you put the coins in, place your face inside of the mask, and press the "start" button, and machine just does all the work for you.
Patent Bureau guy screams in fear: "WAIT A MINUTE!!! This will not work, because every person has unique shape of the face!!!"
Guy: "Yes, they do... before they use the machine for the first time."

In my opinion, the manufacturer concentrated a lot on making the design fancy, and not thinking on how it will work with different anatomy.

LUXE Euphoria runs on two AAA batteries that are not included. It is controlled by two buttons - off/on and Function that are located on the "back" of the "dolphin". When the power button is pressed once it is turned on on the lowest steady vibration. By pressing Function button you go up the other vibration levels and patterns.

On the pruduct package it promises to give you 7 vibration settigs, which are:

One click - Low steady vibration (1 bee, 0 vrooms)
Two clicks - Medium steady vibration (2 bees, 0.5 vrooms)
Three clicks- Highest steady vibraton (2 bees, but still 0.5 vrooms)
Four clicks- Escalation (2 bees, 0.5 vrooms)
Five clicks- Fast pulsating (2 bees, 0.5 vrooms)
Six clicks- Very fast pulsating (2 bees, 0.5 vrooms)
Seven clicks- Mix of pulsations and short steady vibration (3 bees, 0.5 vrooms)

Vibrator gets muffled when it is inside of your pants, and I would give it a 1 bee when it is in between your legs. Sad thing is - on any setting vibrations are extremely hard to feel, they are not arousing at all, but annoying. They all feel like you accidentally set on your cell phone and someone called you while it was on a vibrate setting.
I could not help it, but give only 0.5 points as the highest vroom level, when i used the toy I had to concentrate to feel anything. LUXE Euphoria is the weakest vibrator that I have ever used. I wish that the manufacturer would make it just a single speed vibrator, but made it decent, instead of 7 useless vibration settings.

I had serious doubts about the waterproof feature, since battery cap is not attached very tightly. There is also a visible crack, and no insulation, no ring, nothing that would stop the water from dripping inside of the toy. I actually tried to blow in the crack by the battery compartment and air came shooting right out.
However, as I figured out later there is a silicone pad on the cap, and when you close it, it firmly presses upon the batteries to protect it from water damage. However, I was not convinced and decided to do a crash test.
I have to admit that I mentally buried my toy and went to the bathroom with the intention to kill it. I filled the sink and dropped the toy in it, fully submerged it and left it there for about 15 minutes while the toy was turned on. To my surprise, it did not short, but was still working! Vibrations get extremely muffled when toy is under water, they almost disappear. When I opened the battery compartment it was wet inside and there were visible drops of water, but mysteriously it still worked.

I am not sure what to say, it seems to me like this one is very hard to lean - it is not waterproof. It may say that but I think these seams are not. I would just gently wipe it with the toy cleaning wipe or gently clean with the wet rag with mild soap.

LUXE Euphoria comes in the clear plastic box that is obviously not discreet, but not very intimidating because of the toy's shape. Box is not very informative either. It has the name of the toy, tells about features it has and also about materials that were used to make it.

I do not like toys like this one. The awkward shape, does not do what it says it will do, weak vibrations, just odd and disappointing all the way around.

I was very exited to get LUXE Euphoria. I loved the color, plus the fact that it was silicone and waterproof.
I gave LUXE Euphoria a chance. I heroically used this vibe for 1.5 hrs before writing this review, but I was not even slightly aroused by it. My clitoris just went slightly numb, I guess just from prolonged use. It is just overall a bad toy, in my opinion. It does not do a main thing that any clitoral vibe must - VIBRATE!!! Vibrations are so buzzy, week and shallow that you cannot feel that they are there.
It is pointless to have a toy that does not get you off, not even warms you up, not even tickles...
I will more than likely throw mine away because this toy does not deliver, period.