Proof reading and grammar checking would do wonders to your review. Try putting it in a word processor and then edit it there prior to submitting here.

This seems like a good review, but it's honestly a bit hard to read. Proofreading would really help it get its fullest potential.

I agree with Lauren and Mistress Kay. Also, you may want to read the product specifications, this toy is NOT silicone, it's Jelly, which is a form of PVC. Your review said the toy "had a silicone smell." This could lead people in the wrong direction, as well as the fact that pure medical grade silicone has NO smell.

For many people, materials are one of the most important things in what toys they buy. I won't buy any more jelly toys, and I'd hate to buy a jelly toy, because I was told it was silicone.

Please proofread. Getting into the Mentor Program will really help you write reviews which are well written.

Everything I wanted to say has been said.

Proofreading is huge because I had one heck of a time trying to read this. Mentor program, paste it in word, even get a friend to proof read for you if need be.

LMAO! Wow these two reviews were my very first ever in my life. Talk about harsh and making someone feel really stupid, but you all managed to do it. I seriously didn't think i had to be an English professor to be here but boy was i wrong. But hey thanks for your opinions we all have a right to them. this is so not worth getting free toys for. Just a waste of my time.

I don't think anyone was being harsh at all. We take this very seriously and Advanced Reviewer's first job is to be the Face of EdenFantasy NOT to "get free toys."

We pride ourselves on our reviews, which in order to be taken seriously, should be well written, ACCURATE and proofread. WE are here for Eden, Eden is generous with us, but we have to be able to work hard for our rewards. This just not a place to get "free stuff."

LOL... the constructive criticism you received is basic English, nothing a 4th grader couldn't do.

If you are simply here to get free stuff then you are in the wrong place. This is a wonderful community and free stuff is just another perk for being here. No one said your review was bad, you just need to read it over and actually make it legible. I don't want to get a headache every time I read a review.

P.S. everyone's first reviews generally suck. It takes work to improve. Check out the mentor program it works wonders for grammar.

Thank you all once again for you "constructive criticism." And now labeling me as being dumber than a 4th grader...LOL!!!! but it's all good nobodies perfect and I am far from it, but here you go I tried to fix it and hope i did a little better. and as for the mentor program i would do it but don't have a lot of time to spend on the computer. That's why they have grammar checks on the computer itself. Let me know if I need to change more.

P.S. when I said free toys I did not specifically mean that's why I was here. But I'm not going to lie all my friends that told me about Eden is all the free toys you get. So please to don't scold me for this I'm just the messenger.

I'm only going to comment one more time. No one here is being harsh or mean. We are trying to help. But, you need to take this seriously and take the time to do it well.

The Advanced Reviewer Program (which you applied to, which is why the review was critiqued by so many Advanced Reviewers) takes a LOT of time to do! They don't just send you "all the free toys you get" and you get to do what you want. Eden expects good reviews, and reviews written promptly and the toys tested thoroughly or NO toys will be offered in the future. You don't get whatever you want. There are rules.

The Program is to benefit both the Business and the Advanced Reviewer, but if the reviews are taken seriously and you don't "have time" to write them well or learn to write them well, (like participating in the Mentor Program) it isn't the program for you.

From what I have seen, if you don't "have time" for the Mentor Program, you don't have time for the Advanced Reviewer Program. (I hope I'm not speaking out of line, but I know how much time SO many of us Advanced Reviewers put into our reviews, Hours of writing, multiple testings, re-writing, editing, and then the reviews have to be OKed by the Staff, if it was a toy from The Program.)

A lot of us see this as like a part time (or full time) job. As much to help people choose good toys, more than just to "get free stuff." All of us still buy things on our own.

The toys are "exchanged" (IF your request is chosen to review that toy, or if you are offered a toy from the staff to review) for good, solid, consistent reviews.

No one is dissing you, but we take this seriously. Like a part time job. If you don't have the time, "free toys" are not going to happen without a lot of work. I was here and writing reviews and participating in the Forums for 2 months and eight reviews before I even APPLIED for the Advanced Reviewer Position.

Please, if you can take it seriously and have the time, please keep trying. But, two lukewarm reviews, and the confession that you don't "have the time" to learn how to review properly from a Mentor who KNOWS what he or she is doing doesn't bode well for your taking the Program seriously.

It takes Effort and Time and Serious dedication to the Site. If you have those, then keep trying.

Generally, I try to steer clear of conflict, but I feel it is necessary. TKK, I will reiterate what many have mentioned before me:

***No one is being the least bit harsh to you***

The people above me are trying to help you. This is what we as a community do. We read each other's reviews, and if we see something that needs improvement, we kindly critique it and try to help the person who wrote it. A gem does not shine brilliantly without being polished, faceted, and cleaned; right out of the ground, most of the time it just looks like a common rock. It is the same with the reviews here, it takes that constructive criticism to be able to polish the reviews, and make them not only informative, but a joy to read. If you truly want to get better, you'd do well to accept such advice with grace and dignity.

However, do not *dare* sit there and claim that they were being hostile by just trying to help you out, and then in turn guilt trip us into thinking that we were in the wrong by offering you help and advice.

I saw not a single grain of ill will in the first few posts (or any for that matter) before you went off the handle and started throwing about accusations of people being hostile towards you.

It's true, we take our status as reviewers *very* seriously. The toys we receive for reviews are nice, I'll admit, but it's not the lifeblood of Eden. That would be the actual, honest reviews themselves and the people who write them. Letting people know about the product and your experiences with it in a concise, coherent manner. Letting customers see what toys are good, which are not-so-good, and which ones they should run for the hills and away from.

I will be completely honest. You blatantly accuse everyone trying to help you of being hostile towards you. However, it is in fact *you* who are being harsh to us. You say that we shouldn't give you such constructive criticism like we are since it is only your second review, however, giving you advice is *exactly* what we should be doing. If anything it'd be malicious of us if we *didn't* give you advice on how to improve. Handing you pearls of wisdom shows that we actually care about you and everyone in the community, and it is unwise to slap our hands away. I know I had a constructive comment on a video review of mine recently about how I needed to use a clearer font. I not only accepted the advice, I accepted it *gladly* because I *want* to improve, to evolve and become an even better reviewer. It's the very least I owe to Eden and this community.

And no, it does not take an "English Professor" to write reviews here (As a matter of fact, I just have my High School Diploma, thank you very much), it just takes practice, perseverance, and more than anything a *passion* for writing the reviews on the product, not just receiving and testing them.

*~*~*TL;DR Section*~*~*
1) No one is being hostile towards you.
2) Eden is not a "loot piñata" when it comes to toys, regardless of whether your friends said that or not.
3) Remain dignified and graceful while accepting constructive criticism and use it to better yourself.
4) Be kind to the community and it will, in turn, be kind to you. I'm positive that the reverse is also true.
5) I am sure that I am not the only one in the community that feels that a sincere, "from the heart" apology from you, TKK, is in order. Along with the *thorough consideration* of the constructive advice that people have given you.

Good Day,
Persephone Nightmare

I voted it very useful because I understood the point you were trying to get across. I won't continue the criticism because some of us are writers, and by nature, are more prone to pick up on the grammar. My advice would be mostly to have someone (a friend, lover, etc) read it to you or for you for editing. I AM a writer and I still have a fellow writer friend read my work and "red-pencil" it for me. I'll admit that I haven't on my reviews, but I do read, reread, and then reread it out loud to make sure that it reads well.

Good luck!

Your review could flow a bit better, it felt forced to me, but we've all started out somewhere and no one's first review was epic (without the help of a mentor anyway).

That aside, I suggest getting into the mentor program, it doesn't actually require all that much time. This is my second go in it. You can almost pick a mentor to fit your personality, and they're all really nice. The review gets sent to them and they help you out with it, then when you publish it, people will be appreciative of it.

In any case, keep your chin up and hang in there, it's hard to get the reviews done at first.

I have this and it was too big for me. Good review though.

Woah... reading the comments on this was pretty interesting. o.o

tkk, I've only been around for 2 months or and I'm kinda new around here. When people who have been here a heck of a lot longer than me tell me I need to make some changes to my review I listen to them because they know better. I don't get offensive. I'm not the best writer in the world but I always try my best and make sure I read my reviews over and over and fix mistakes to the best of my ability. You can't just write up reviews quickly because you want free stuff. I mean it's nice and all but I actually love to be able to give my honest opinions and experiences out to other women looking for toys so that they don't waste their money on something that's not worth it. Don't take it so hard, just correct your review and try better next time. If you don't have the time then you shouldn't be here because it takes a lot of time and effort to write reviews around here. Just because this is a sex toy site doesn't mean we're not serious about writing really good reviews.

Thanks for the review!