Tease & please - massager discontinued by Cal Exotics - review by Lana

Being new to massagers, when I saw this little gadget online for the first time I couldn't really help but wonder what exactly I was supposed to do with it. Is the Tease & please a "massager" or is it one of those discreet vibrators? Was I supposed to stick it in anywhere? Was I supposed to actually enjoy a massage with it, or was I supposed to rub it on my naughties and see what happened?

So the day came and my new massager arrived. The first thing I thought was that the toy was so much smaller than it appeared on the website. All in all I'd guess it's about three inches long, give or take. It's also not very big around. In fact it was positively tiny; as though it were meant to be carried discreetly in a purse or something of that nature. This instantly bolstered my concerns about whether or not this was meant to be an insertable toy. The overall design of the toy itself, though, was very pleasing to the eye: smooth curves and pretty color. The packaging also indicated that the toy had several different functions, all of which are controlled by one single push-button on the bottom of the base. The seven settings can be scrolled through by pressing the button on the bottom of the toy repeatedly; it changes to all seven settings and on the eighth press the toy will turn off. The settings vary through intensity of vibrations and pulses.

Also, through the paper instructions included on the inside of the package, I finally did learn that the toy was indeed meant to be inserted, but judging by the size of it I didn't really see too much point.

The Tease & Please takes two AAA batteries. The battery compartment does have instructions on how to install the batteries correctly, but they are extremely hard to read. If you put them in the wrong way, I've found, you may realize that your toy has only one function instead of the seven boasted on the packaging. If that's the case, go ahead and reinstall the batteries so it works correctly.

I can't say too much for the toy in action. To be fair, this might not be any fault of the massager's, but more of mine. For one thing, the size of the toy did little to impress me. There was just too little there for me to get any real satisfaction from being penetrated by it either vaginally or anally. Also, I personally have never really gotten any real pleasure from vibrators. Vibrating dildos and butt toys are a little bit of a different story, but the vibration on its own doesn't really do too much for me. I tried the vibrating functions both while inserted and while putting it directly on my clit and nothing happened. In fact, this toy did not give me a single orgasm, and I used it several times only to become more frustrated with it.

There are some positive things I can say about the Tease & Please. Firstly, it's very pretty to look at. It has beautiful gem-tone color, and the gradually increasing bubble shapes are smooth. It's well designed, and the single push button is very easy to operate. The toy is also waterproof, so you can take it in the shower with you if that's your pleasure (and as always, remember: just because the package says it's waterproof doesn't mean you can completely immerse it in water). This toy is also very easy to clean, and since it's made of plastic; it's hardy and won't get dirty very easily.

Again, this is just one of those sex toys for women that is probably best for those persons that are new to using sex toys; I don't see many people with lots of experience with them being too impressed by this one, even if they appreciate vibrators and "massagers" much more than I do.