Happy massager - traditional vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by Forensicschick

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The "Happy" Massager

This toy is worth the 7 dollars, because you will get something out of it. Though I wouldn't want to have to spend any more than 10 dollars on this massager when I wasn't very happy with the overall outcome.
good for clitoral stimulation
Mediocre for insertion in the vagina
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


This vibrator is good for clitoral use and/or insertion into the vagina or anus. This toy is long, at 7 1/2 inches (6 1/2 insertable length) and moderately wide, about 4 inches, so some people might not be able to use this toy (Like beginners), however, this is a great "gag" gift for someone's birthday (it even says Happy Birthday all over it) or for a special occasion. The Happy Birthday design can be felt, but not enough to make a difference in the pleasure rating. Use this with a partner if you have one or use it for solo use when you just need that "me" time.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Solo
    • Couples
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

The Happy Massager is made from hard plastic and has a smoother surface, with no visable seams. Unfortunately, there is no give to this toy at all, so when it's inserted, there isn't much room for the toy to move around in. The massager has a very faint scent to it, even after multiple uses. Food-grade material/Hypo-allergenic/Latex free/Phthalates free materials offer a nice safety rating on the EF scale. Though no extra stimulation comes from the surface of this toy, it is enough to get you going!
    • Light odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

The design of this massager didn't work very well for me when inserted into the vagina. However, it worked wonders when used for clitoral stimulation. With this toy being made from a hard plastic, there is no give at all to hit the g-spot. The shape of the toy is nice, being almost realistic with it's design, (it's like a penis with no shelf on the head. Instead there is a small squared off point at the top.) On it's highest setting, when inserted into the vagina, I could feel the vibrations but had no fun from it at all. The vibrations are buzzy and a little rumbly, but that's mostly because this toy takes C batteries. (Most toys or gadgets that use C's are a little louder) The Massager has a good length, at 6 1/2 insertable inches, if you don't have a shallow vaginal cavity and the width was perfect for me at around 4 inches. It doesn't hurt to be inserted and has an inch at the end of the Happy Massager to hold on to and adjust the speed of the toy itself. You could probably take this toy traveling with you, if you packed it in a big purse or in an inside pocket of your luggage.
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The Happy Massager vibrates through the entire toy. Using two C batteries (batteries not included), it rattles a little when not being held firmly and not being placed in the water. Although, I would refrain from using this toy in the bath tub (Shower is fine) because the batteries and the inner springs and metal get wet, no matter how tight you put the base on or how long you have it in the water for. I do like that on the highest setting if you place the very tip of the massager on the clit, you can have an orgasm really quickly (for when there's not much time) or just placing any other part of the massager on the clit and it will help relax your body while gradually bringing your body to the point of orgasm. This toy is very easy to use having a dial operation system at the base of the toy (Left to increase power, right to decrease power) so it's very easy to adjust without even needing to move the toy to do it.

This toy is really noisy (probably because of the length and the batteries used in the toy) so even with closed doors, you would need background noise to drowned out the sound of the toy. This toy's settings of the vibrations start out being strong enough to vibrate up your arm (if held firmly in your hand) and at the highest setting it's strong enough to vibrate up to your shoulder and part of the back when held firmly in your hand.
    • Easy to use
    • Multiple settings
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

If you don't have a toy cleaner, simply running hot water over this toy and giving it a gentle wash (no soap) is the best way to clean it. To store the Massager, remove the batteries, replace the base of the toy and return to the clear box it came in. That's the best way to ensure that the toy stays clean, lasts longer and doesn't damage any other toys you might have around it.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store


The toy comes in a clear plastic box, with instructions about the batteries placed inside the battery chamber (Do not remove that paper, it helps with the vibrations and helping to keep the toy from over heating). There was no "how to" user guide, but it's a very simple toy to use, so you don't really need an instruction manual. Use the clear box the massager comes in to store the toy for future use.
    • Good for storage
    • Not discreet
    • Would make a nice gift

Personal comments

I was a little disappointed with the massager in the sense that it didn't stimulate me very well when inserted - however it was very useful to stimulate/massage my clit. It's really too big to use ONLY for the clitoral massage, but I tried inserting it while in several different positions and I was still unable to get excited while it was inserted.


This product wasn't very good when inserted vaginally.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
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  • unfulfilled
    Thank you for sharing your experience about this happy birthday toy. It seems it would be too loud for me.
  • Stinkytofu10
    Thank you for the review.
  • Rossie
    Thank you for the nice review. Did the user's manual recommend no soap? That seemed a little unsanitary to me.
  • TheSinDoll
    It's actually not a good idea to use this toy anally as it has no flared base. If you're saying that the inner workings get wet, I'd keep it away from water all together.
  • Beneath The Bed
    Thanks for the great review!
  • Undead
    Great review but I agree with TheSinDoll about the anal thing.
  • MK434
    Great review!
  • AHubbyof2SexualMinds
    Thanks for the review.
  • mmmmm
    Thank you for the review
  • Peres2013
    Thank you!
  • sXeVegan90
    Thanks for the review.
  • damnbul12
    Thank you for the review.
  • dsumrow1
  • wanderer5964
    love the review
  • epiphanyjayne
    Thanks for sharing.
  • lzee
    Thank you
  • Tbanda
    Great review
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