Jelly G - spot waterproof - pink - g-spot vibrator by Pipedream - review by ajlq

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The Leader of the (Under $20) Pack

Is it a Mercedes? No. But if you were looking for that, you wouldn’t be looking at vibrators that're under twenty bucks. Nobody cut corners when they made this badboy and it shows...it's quality at a great price.
Published:
Pros:
The shape and flesh delights, its vibrations are strong, and it's got neat little hand-grippies
Cons:
Not suitable for size queens.
Rating by reviewer:
4
useful review
I gotta’ tell you, it’s frustrating. Nobody does their job right anymore. There’s just no pride and everyone’s trying to get away with half-assing the job, crossing their fingers that no one will notice.

Which makes the Jelly G-Spot so exceptional. It’s a performer, it knows what its job is and it gets in there and it does it, and it does it RIGHT. Though nearly everywhere I go, the service sucks, this baby knows just how to service me. It’s a Volkswagen in a snowstorm and I couldn’t be prouder.

If I thought it was ever going to die, I’d buy a spare, but frankly I don’t see it. A tornado could zoop up my apartment and send it hurtling at 100 miles an hour into the Willamette and I think this baby would be completely unbothered. It would just bob along (it’s waterproof, see) and eventually wend its way ashore and should some curious animal nose at it, it would VROOM back to life and be glad to pleasure the wayward beaver.

But let’s get to brass tacks here. The vibrating unit is large and well-placed right at the crook. Being just a bit fatter than the toy assures that its generous vibrations will pound you where you need a good pounding. I myself am a huge slut when it comes to jelly products or anything that has a good flesh like feel and this one’s good: it’s firm, yet with a tiny amount of give, so that it grips your flesh the merest amount as it slides in. And when you squeeze it with your vaginal muscles, you can again feel that slight sexy give (until you’re completely distracted by how much squeezing intensifies the pounding sensation).

It also has a clever rosette pattern near the base to make it easy to grip with wet hands, should you wish to change the speed. (HA! As if everyone doesn’t just turn it full crank right off the bat. 3 speeds, 8 speeds, 86 speeds, just give me all you’ve got, make some magic here, rattle me ‘til my teeth fall out.) The one potential downside to the Jelly G is that if you try to ram this thing in too deep (insertable length is just over 5”), those rosettes are gonna’ scrape as they protrude quite a bit. So size queens may wish to move along.

Rabbit Unimportant note: The packaging is quite amusing. It says it reaches deep, and of course it says Jelly G-Spot, then it says it’s not intended for therapeutic purposes and is only recommended for external use. Now, of course we all know this is a nudge-nudge-wink-wink situation but come ON, this may even be too thinly veiled to pass for that. If you don’t insert it, what g-spot are they talking about? The spot where my Garanimals hug? And if I’m limited to external use, wouldn’t I be seeking its therapeutic value? What else is there, I just like to prop it on my dresser and soothe myself to sleep with the pleasant buzzing sound? Never mind, I digress, just put this in your shopping cart and ignore me.Rabbit
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Gary
    That is very odd, that it would specify "Jelly G-spot" and then say "only recommended for external use"...like selling brass knuckles as a "paper weight".
  • Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
    This review got one of very few smiles out of me today. Smile

    How many speeds does it have?

    and

    What exactly about it makes you say it's going to live forever? Have you had it a long time, or have you thrown it against a well?
  • ajlq
    It's multispeed...it has a twisty battery cap that graduates it from barely buzzing to full throttle, so it doesn't really click into a defined number of speeds. It's like a dimmer switch of vibrations.

    I have not had it a long time but I have owned a lot of toys, and like any purchase, you get used to the earmarks of quality, like you would assess an item at the store for quality: it is well built of quality products. You know the toys that the metal bits in the battery compartment are out of alignment and you have to straighten them out to get it to work, and where they cut the edges of the rubber has "bits" sloppily hanging off, maybe the shape is a little distorted, the materials are cheap, and everything just looks a little "off"? Yeah, this is not that. I have also found that toys with wires tend to have a lot more dysfunction; self-contained units (no remotes, just an onboard on-off/speed control) tend to better withstand the rigors that we put them through.

    And thanks for the compliment!
  • Adriana Ravenlust
    Honestly, I'll have to take your word that this is a quality toy because it just does not look like it.
  • ~LaUr3n~
    I love great finds under $20 bucks. But I still would not call them great quality. The material on this is not very safe.
  • AlaskanBeauty
    Thanks for the review.
  • Glac
    good review, thanks
  • Jon S
    ty for the review
  • JoeVic
    ty
  • LilShae
    Thanks
  • AJvil
    good review
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