Advice » Sex in General: "No Need To Hide My Sexuality (And How I Found It Out)!"

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No Need To Hide My Sexuality (And How I Found It Out)!
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Recent events in my life pretty much threw my sexuality out for my family and friends to see. In the end, things didn't turn out how I assumed that they would.

  The Catalyst Of Sexuality Based Freedom With My Friends

As I mentioned in the introduction, I don't get to go out often. Well, I did on Wednesday of last week. We have a bar in town that has $0.25 beers and I got a little drunk. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but one of the ladies at our table brought up Ben-Wa balls. She had read about them in that best-selling "erotica" series that so many stay at home mom's and soccer wives ate up like crack infused cookies. I let it slip that I've been reviewing sex toys. After ten minutes of constant teasing by the guys, the table got very quiet... and then the questions started.

"What kind of sex toys?"

"Are Fleshlight's any good?"

"Can you help me find a good vibrator?"

"Do you stick things up your ass?"

As I waded through the ocean of questions, I realized that while they thought it was funny at first, they all wanted to know more. They wanted to know more about their own anatomies. They wanted to know more about sex toy, and, they wanted my help. I had went from being made fun of to being asked all kinds of things about various toys; I was now teaching my friends how to be safer, and how to have better sex.

  The Catalyst of Sexuality Based Freedom With My Parents

After the night out with my friends, I was feeling pretty wonderful about everything (even got a few new phone numbers out of the deal). So, Friday night, one of my good friends calls to tell me that he is having a keg party and that he's already on his way to come get me. I showered, got ready, and went to his place. Naturally, being 24 years old and at a keg party, sex came up again. One of the guys had to throw it out to everyone that I am using and reviewing all sorts of sex toys, and I ended up lecturing a whole party on safety for a while. Some of the party goers walked out when the single big guy in the room started explaining all kinds of sex toys, techniques, and fetishes to people. Most of them, however, pulled up a chair and started asking questions. The night ended rather early, but all in all, it was a good evening.

I ended up staying at my friend's place until Sunday morning, when my Mom text'd me and said that she needed me to come home to help out with the kids for a bit.

Well, I came home to help out, and within about an hour my Dad asked me if I had seen the new cock ring that came in for me while I was gone. I hadn't checked the shipping notice and he opened it (his house, his rules.. we don't even argue that point). He was laughing. Then, he just looked, and asked what I was doing with all of the sex toys I have (which gave away that he had indeed been in my room and dug through things). I looked at him as an adult and simply told him:

"Dad, I've been using and reviewing sex toys for almost 6 months. I have dildos, butt plugs, masturbation sleeves, vibrators and a cock pump."

He looked at me for a moment, trying to figure out if I was serious.. and then the laughter started.

"So, you use all of these sex toys on yourself, huh? You should get a paid job using them, and then film yourself while you use them and make money from that, too. Then, you could get paid twice for shoving things in your ass and getting off!"

  The Realization

I realized, because of my big mouth and simply forgetting to check a shipping e-mail, that my friends and family will love me, regardless of any "kinky" habits or sexual tendencies I may have. My Dad laughed about things, and told me I could make money off of it. I'm fairly certain that a few of my friends probably discovered their prostates with their girlfriends because of me. I've taught my friends more about sexual health and sex toys in a few days than some adults will ever know, and I love it.

Your mileage may vary, but when it comes down to it: Your friends and family are probably going to love you regardless of what kind of inanimate objects you stick inside your body, and may even come to you for help and advice. Having a very healthy sexual relationship with one's self or one's partner isn't something you should be ashamed of, and chances are that your friends and family are doing similar things themselves.

Remember: Your sexuality is your sexuality. Don't let what others think stop you from trying to have a happy, healthy, and adventures sex life with your self or your partner(s).


Contributor: TJtheMadHatter

Love it! I'm glad you came "out" to your family about your sex toys.

Contributor: MrWill

I didn't "come" out, I got caught and more or less tossed the chips on the table!

Contributor: SaucyxGirl

I too had some laughter that very quickly turned to tons of questions from friends when I came out (so to speak) about my sex toy collection. I was kind of shocked at the misinformation that a lot of my friends had about sex toys in general.
I am almost sure that my family is aware of my collection, as a teen I had a room search done by parents while I was in school. They were searching for signs of drug and alcohol use (another story) and I am pretty sure that they stumbled upon my sex toy collection as it was all stored in the bottom drawer of my dresser. They never brought it up, but they were a little uncomfortable for a while around me when ever I got a package in the mail or came back from shopping with my then boyfriend. lmao.

Contributor: Trysexual

Well done, but I won't be sharing this with my Dad anytime soon!

Contributor: Chastity Darling

My step-mom bought me my first vibrator for my 18th birthday. We have always been extremely open about sex but I have a few friends I would rather not know!

Contributor: Hummingbird

I'd love to be up front and "come-out" with my family but I had a hard enought time getting pierced ears at 16. I was surprised how well they took my Tattoo at age 58. Maybe the sex toys just might not go over that bad... Nah, I really don't want to find out, now if my nieces or nephews came to me say because they were on this site to and recognized my Avatar, them it would be easy to share my experience with. I even have some extra I would be willing to give them, if they wanted them that is.

Contributor: Heather Shadrick

I can talk to just about everyone about what I do here on Eden, and I do! I was just in the ER the other day talking to a nurse about it who is a single mom, age 44. She wanted to buy a rabbit and I told her where to go and gave her my coupon code. I was there for some feminine testing as well and they had no stirrups. She was complaining and told me she had been trying to get the hospital to pay for a much cheaper wedge than stirrups they refused to pay for. I told her I would see what I could do about donating a new one to them.

My parents have known for years about Eden. My parents, being very open about their sex life and toy use, were all about it. They are in their 50's. I have even gifted them toys from Eden before. I am very open to talking about sex with anyone, including strangers. Some people give me weird looks while others start asking questions and most ladies wonder how they can get a good rabbit. I always refer them to come here. My cousin and her hubby has improved their sex lives majorly from my information and constantly gifting them toys.

On the other hand, when I tried to explain my bisexuality to my family, shit hit the fan. My dad had suspected for a long time and didn't really care, but my mom went ballistic and our relationship has changed because of it. It has taken years of not mentioning it and repair for us to be anything like we were before. I have been through a divorce (from a man she hated), split up with my girl, and now have a new life with a new man and learned a hard lesson about bisexuality and how bad it can affect a marriage when you bring another person into the picture. My husband ended up leaving me for my girlfriend when I broke it off with her. I am not saying all 3-way cases work this way, but mine did. Coming out about my sexuality nearly ruined me emotionally, psychologically, and any sort of relationship with my family.

I no longer pursue women. I have a man that treats me wonderfully and is very open minded and willing to try new things constantly. I know that having 2 partners in my life does not work for me inparticularly. I am still attracted to women and will always be. That's who I am, but I don't feel like having a woman in my life is a necessity and I prefer men over women anyhow.

So "coming out" about Eden and my toys, reviews, commission and all that was a breeze. My sexuality was a different story. Regardless, now its all on the table and the hard part is over. "Coming out" is always the hardest part.

Congrats on having a wonderful, understanding family!

Contributor: LoveX

Hey, this was a great read!

Contributor: Bill220

My friends and family aren't that open minded. I share my love of toys with my wife and EF community. It stops there.



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