Misery Business
I have always been pretty open sexually and extremely curious about women, but there had never been a time where I’d seen a woman and thought ‘I want…I need…I have to have sex with her!’
Enter the band Paramore. The first time I saw lead singer Hayley Williams in the video for “Misery Business” I knew I wanted…I needed…I had to have sex with her! When I’d hear her raspy singing voice or see photos of the diminutive, fair-skinned beauty hidden under a perfectly-mussed red mane, my body did something it had never done before when looking at a woman—it responded sexually. I was undeniably in lust. Coincidentally, around that time, a writer friend of mine had been given an assignment I’d have killed for; he was invited to join the band for several days on tour.
“Show her my picture,” I begged him. “Ask her if she’d sleep with me! Just once.”
“You do realize she’s barely legal, right? Remind me never to let you babysit my kids.”
Unfortunately, nothing ever materialized.
Since then, I’ve had two other girl crushes, one on a lesbian and one on a girl who whose run the gamut of sexual identities over the last 20 years— straight in her teens, lesbian in her 20s, bisexual in her 30s. This sexual metamorphosis intrigued me.
Then, as if on cue with my curiosity, Lindsay Lohan, who’d always identified herself as straight, began a same-sex relationship. Subsequently, several major magazines and talk shows began running articles and segments on women who, while insisting they were straight, had begun having sexual feelings toward—even striking up relationships with—other women. This phenomenon, no longer taboo, has even been given a name: Sexual Fluidity.
Sexual orientation is often viewed in black and white terms with no gray area. Recent studies suggest, however, that especially in women, sexual desire can be fluid throughout one’s life depending on biological, cognitive and environmental factors, among others. This notion was first suggested back in 1948, when Alfred Kinsey introduced a sexual continuum scale. On the seven-point scale, zero represented total heterosexuality and seven represented total homosexuality. Most of those whom Kinsey studied fell somewhere between these two numbers, suggesting the notion that many people—even those who, like me, had identified as completely heterosexual—can have urges toward the same sex.
Armed with this information, I set out to find other people who identified themselves as straight, but have, at one time or another, acted upon their sexually fluid urges.
Enter the band Paramore. The first time I saw lead singer Hayley Williams in the video for “Misery Business” I knew I wanted…I needed…I had to have sex with her! When I’d hear her raspy singing voice or see photos of the diminutive, fair-skinned beauty hidden under a perfectly-mussed red mane, my body did something it had never done before when looking at a woman—it responded sexually. I was undeniably in lust. Coincidentally, around that time, a writer friend of mine had been given an assignment I’d have killed for; he was invited to join the band for several days on tour.
“Show her my picture,” I begged him. “Ask her if she’d sleep with me! Just once.”
“You do realize she’s barely legal, right? Remind me never to let you babysit my kids.”
Unfortunately, nothing ever materialized.
Since then, I’ve had two other girl crushes, one on a lesbian and one on a girl who whose run the gamut of sexual identities over the last 20 years— straight in her teens, lesbian in her 20s, bisexual in her 30s. This sexual metamorphosis intrigued me.
Then, as if on cue with my curiosity, Lindsay Lohan, who’d always identified herself as straight, began a same-sex relationship. Subsequently, several major magazines and talk shows began running articles and segments on women who, while insisting they were straight, had begun having sexual feelings toward—even striking up relationships with—other women. This phenomenon, no longer taboo, has even been given a name: Sexual Fluidity.
Sexual orientation is often viewed in black and white terms with no gray area. Recent studies suggest, however, that especially in women, sexual desire can be fluid throughout one’s life depending on biological, cognitive and environmental factors, among others. This notion was first suggested back in 1948, when Alfred Kinsey introduced a sexual continuum scale. On the seven-point scale, zero represented total heterosexuality and seven represented total homosexuality. Most of those whom Kinsey studied fell somewhere between these two numbers, suggesting the notion that many people—even those who, like me, had identified as completely heterosexual—can have urges toward the same sex.
Armed with this information, I set out to find other people who identified themselves as straight, but have, at one time or another, acted upon their sexually fluid urges.
Eventually there will come a point in time, maybe after a few dates or after a few months, when things start to heat up, and you will inevitably end up in one of each others’ sacred sleeping spots: the bedroom. When this magical time begins to play itself out, there is one important piece of information to understand: emotional escalation and physical escalation should move down the same track at the same speed.
If you realize you have an extremely strong emotional connection with a woman but the only physical contact that’s occurred is the occasional game of thumb war, then you’re on the fast track towards becoming a platonic friend. If this is the case, stop playing hand games and amp it up; there are much more fun places to put your thumb than over hers!
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