The gender equality in sex

But guys, would you like to be given a naughty wink by the guy working at the cheese deck, or a tap on the butt while waitressing? Because like it or not, girls get that. Or do you want to get waxed everywhere or learn to walk in heels? And girls, do you want to be really treated like a guy, given no privacy in the changing rooms or public restrooms? Or being allowed to go all hairy?

Thing is, guys and girls cannot be treated the same way either. So where is the limit? How to separate things in which you need to accommodate the gender and which are to be treated the same? Some things are clearly on this side or the other, but there are grey areas too.

The same problem is even more prominent when it comes to sexuality – as it is inevitably tied to your respective sex and gender. But even in the age of sexual freedom, some topics are just not discussed – so the change and "optimization" of treatment and general public thinking is pretty slow, and some long existing prejudices hold. And can we do anything about it?

It is accepted as a general rule – and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, as most men do. Maybe not all, but most. What I find problematic is that it suggests women don’t, as if females could not. Or at least "normal" females could not. While guys may not talk openly about it and not discuss their preferences, admitting to watching porn is like admitting to sometimes taking a crap – something not discussed but accepted as a fact.

While if a woman admits to watching porn – scandal! Perversion! Or, in better cases, wow, how kinky! But not "normal." So what is so different about the two genders? Granted, more males watch porn – but is it really because they enjoy it more? Or is it because many women are held back by the conventions of society, and maybe even scoff at it, because that is how they should feel about it? Is the public view like this because women feel differently, or do they feel differently because it is regarded as improper for them?

It's an undeniable fact that more guys watch porn – so they are a bigger market. Which means more profit for the porn industry. But watching a flock of barely legal cheerleader girls pleasuring one man is hardly a turn on for most women – which makes them less likely to look for porn, shrinking the market a bit – which makes a vicious cycle.

As a female, in this case I demand a change – expressing curiosity, desire, and sexual activity should not be regarded as "not normal" whether it is positive or negative discrimination. I want more porn designed for women, less cam girl, Viagra and make your dick bigger advertisements on porn sites. I also want to win the lottery and have a pony in the backyard.

Let's not talk about the fraction of people who think toys are unnatural, or only for those who have problems. From this point of view, at least they treat men and women equally, denying the normalcy in spicing up one’s sex life, whether it is solo or with a partner.

Most people still think toys are for women. Granted, female toys have a longer history, and greater variety – but sex toy manufacturers are moving on the gap of male toys efficiently, coming up with better and better toys. But, even on Eden here, there are nearly two times (if not three) more women.

The general view that guys should not have toys isn’t something only women think. I have had conversations with guys who thought girls using dildos, vibes or any other toy was extremely hot and kinky and they liked to watch a girl pleasure herself any way. But when I asked if he had any toys, he did not seem interested at all, "That’s just not hot" or "I don’t need them." But, I asked, there are high quality toys now. Like, Tenga – I can’t believe all those good reviews are for nothing. I don’t believe they would remain active if the product was bad. "Maybe, but it’s just strange. I’m not interested..." I do not get it, I admit. In the end, I managed to talk him into trying one – just a bullet vibe to hold against his balls, but it’s a start. And he liked it.

I can’t vouch for other men and women, but I love to watch my guy pleasure himself too – so why the negative distinction? I think all agree that all people deserve the same pleasure no matter what gender they are.

Before I go deeper in the topic, I would like to state that I have no problem with homosexuality. It is not for me, but I do not think it would be any worse than being hetero. That said, it is still sorrowfully a fact that not everyone is on the same opinion. It is still not entirely accepted, and society is likely to point fingers. But for whatever reason, they point fingers more on men than women.

If two women live together – they are friends and they just spare up on the rent. If two girls walk hand in hand, they are BFFs or maybe sisters. If they kiss at a party, they are just trendy and hot. If they try same-gender sex a few times, they are just curious. They pretty much have to get married and adopt a kid before they are called homosexual.
If a guy just strokes the cheek of another guy, he is gay – and to hell with anything else. If you live together with other guys to spare the rent, you are all a bunch of homosexuals.

Also once they come out of the closet, women are more easily accepted than men. I have been thinking a lot why that might be. My first idea was maybe it's because many guys like to watch lesbian porn and have fantasies about several girls fooling around with him and each other, while a lot less women watch porn, let alone gay porn. But than again, there is yaoa, quite a genre of comics and cartoons.

According to one theory, it might go a lot deeper, a lot older. Simply, man is a creature that lived in groups in the ancient ages, and several mothers could/would work together to raise their kids, not unlike in the animal kingdom. While males were...males, having testosterone-wars among each other as the primary source of food was, for the longest time, the fruits and vegetables found by women, and meat just occasionally. A group of many women and few males could survive more easily. But women had to have a higher tolerance for each other than males if they had to work. This might be a reason behind the fact that women in general show a higher tendency for homosexuality or just bi-curiosity than males do. But the fact and theory would explain why lesbians are better tolerated (by the intolerant) straight ones (including females).

So could this be changed? Maybe. Should it? I think there should be no difference made between straight or not, male or female. And it should be possible – in ancient societies it counted as normal, average and natural. Even Zeus had Ganymedes. And on the matter of pointing fingers – maybe it could be changed, but the question is, would guys want it to change?

In most cases, I would agree. Many men are just too sleepy to do much once they come – so making sure your girl orgasms first isn’t unreasonable to ask. After all, we want both partners to enjoy themselves. Of course there are the occasions, when it is not expected – a pick-me-up blowjob after a bad day, for example. But generally, yes.

But that does not mean the girl should lay back and let it happen – that’s not sex, not lovemaking. Whether we like it or not, girls take longer to learn how to orgasm, and they need more specific things. While guys should be nice and make sure the girl comes, it is the task of the woman to show what she likes, teach the man how she can be brought to orgasm. We should not expect them to do all the discoveries within minutes that took us years. That said, even with the best intentions he might not be able to pull it off. But there is no rule that a girl cannot take things in her own hand and rub where she likes while the guy watches, learns, and helps on other areas.

But there is no general opinion on how girls should make sure the guys get their orgasms too. I believe in fair play in bed – you give and receive, pleasure favors fantasies. That said, women should help finish. Though admittedly there are less guys struggling with being unable to ejaculate than women having a hard time to orgasm.

Though this does not mean that either partner has a right to demand anything at any time. Just because it once (or many times) happened, it does not mean you have a right to it, regardless of gender. So no such thing as a woman should give a blowjob if the guy wants it, or if she isn’t in the mood for more. Both genders are entitled to their not-now.

The claim comes from the Middle Ages, when it was acceptable for a man to cheat, but not for the women. Simply put, if a man cheated and got a baby, it would not spoil his own blood line – but if the wife cheated, she could have saddled the father, the head of the family, with a bastard. Someone else’s kid. It is kind of obvious why that was undesirable for the aristocracy.

But nowadays, it is unfair to claim they would cheat more, just because they are males. Women can be adulterers just as often and easily. It also does not mean that guys cheating should be more acceptable. How each couple deals with such a problem is their concern. However I find the act unacceptable from either gender, and equally despicable – all depending on the circumstances. Your X or Y chromosomes are no excuses.

These are just a few topics illustrating the still existing prejudices –and while it is way better than it was not so long ago, there is still quite a ways to go.