Twisted hearts seduction - massager discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by FemmeFlo

I was a little confused about the purpose of this vibrator when I took it out of the package. It's more girthy than I like my insertion toys, and the strange nubs looked like they would make insertion difficult anyways. Some reviewers said that the nubs were for g-spot stimulation; if so, then they would only work for someone with a shallower g-spot than mine. With the lack of a flared base, this toy is definitely not meant for anal use. The head is broad and flat, unable to provide the pinpoint stimulation I need to have a clitoral orgasm, despite this toy having powerful (and loud) vibrations. The packaging proudly proclaimed that this toy was designed by women for women. While I can see this toy appealing to a woman's romantic sensibilities (it appealed to mine), it's not practical for any use that I can discern, from repeated attempts to find a use for this toy.

The Twisted Hearts vibrator is made from TPR, with a plastic base. The TPR used is rather plush, with a firm core. It holds its shape and does not bend, but you can press a finger into it and leave a visible dent that will fade after a few moments. The material also came with several visible flaws, one of which is pictured below. The surface is smooth, with a slight rubbery drag to it, so I would recommend using lube for inserting this toy. There is no texture aside from the funny little heart nubs. These nubs might have been meant for g-spot stimulation, but all they do for me is make insertion painful. Because of the girth of this toy, I would not recommend it for beginners.

The material has a slight rubbery smell, but it's only noticeable to me if I hold the toy right up to my nose. The taste is about the same, but I can't imagine that anyone would want to use this toy orally anyways.

The Twisted Hearts Seduction has one of the strangest and most impractical vibrator designs I have seen in my life. The length is 5 1/2 inches, with about 4 1/2 inches being insertable. The circumference is equal to the length, meaning that this toy has a diameter of a whopping 1 5/8 inches. This is equal to my largest toy, the Astrovibes Pisces. Unlike the Pisces, this toy doesn't start small and leave its largest girth for the base so that it can be easily inserted and still give you that filled feeling. The head of the Twisted Hearts vibrator is huge! It's broad and flat. It makes pinpoint clitoral stimulation impossible and insertion difficult. The size is definitely not for beginners, and I can't see any advanced user liking this toy, since there are much better vibrators out there to choose from. The nubs make insertion painful, although the discomfort goes away once they're past the vaginal opening. I didn't notice any g-spot stimulation when using this as an insertion toy.

This toy is not discreet. You can't leave it out in plain sight and expect anyone to not know what it is. It's small and easy to hide in a nightstand drawer or toy chest. If the batteries are removed, then it's suitable for travel. I always take the batteries out of a vibrator when I travel with it, remembering that immortal scene in Fight Club. "Usually if a suitcase is vibrating, it's just somebody's electric razor. But every once in a while, it's a dildo." That would be embarrassing! Imagine the TSA pulling this out of your bag:

The controls on this vibrator are located at the bottom in the form of a dial that is used to turn the vibrator on and off and adjust the strength of the vibrations. The dial is a little hard to turn, and impossible to turn with slippery fingers. The vibrations are located in the head. At the lower settings, the vibrations are faint and buzzy. At the higher settings, the vibrations are powerful, rumbly, but also very loud. This toy survived being submerged in water with no damage. The battery compartment was still completely dry. It takes 2 AAA batteries, and the battery compartment is very basic. It just unscrews and it even has little symbols to tell you which way to insert the batteries. Here is a picture:

This toy is made of TPR, a rubber-silicone compound that is latex-free, phthalates-free, and hypoallergenic. This material is slightly porous, so you will want to use a condom if sharing between partners. It should be cleaned after each use with soap and water. The ridges on this toy might require some special attention when cleaning; they tend to trap lube and juices. You might need to rinse this before use as well, since it's a lint magnet. Since this toy is TPR, it is compatible with water-based lubes, not silicone. Silicone lubes may ruin your toy, as well as storing it touching another TPR or silicone toy.

For now, I store this toy in its original box until I can get a silk pouch that will keep it away from lint. Storing it with the batteries removed will result in a longer battery life. It's not discreet, so you may want to store it out of sight. If you prefer to display your toys, the packaging is super cute and the toy can be seen clearly through the packing, so it's great for display.

The packaging for this toy is super cute. The back has some instructions for use and what kinds of batteries it takes that are handy. The packaging can be used for storage, and it can also be used for displaying the toy, since the toy is clearly visible through the packaging. Not discreet, so wrap if gifting, but the packaging is cute enough to make it suitable for gifting, depending on the taste of the gift recipient. It has a LOT of hearts and pink and red.

I believe that a picture says a thousand words when it comes to packaging, so here is a picture:

These are the toys that give me everything the Twisted Hearts failed to deliver. From left to right: the Twisted Hearts Seduction, the Astrovibes Pisces, the TCB Discreet Vibrator, and the Lelo Ella.

The Astrovibes Pisces is a better choice for those who want a girthy insertion toy. It's the beast of my collection. It also has some interesting texture that's not overwhelming and the head is tapered for easier insertion. The vibrations have a similar strength to the Twisted Hearts, and about the same noise level. It also has a dial that adjusts the level of vibrations. The vibrations are focused more towards the base, but travel well throughout the shaft. It takes 2 AA batteries. It's also made of 100% silicone, which is safer than the TPR Twisted Hearts is made of. Ironically (since it's shaped like a fish), it's not waterproof.

The TCB Discreet Vibrator is my go-to clitoral vibrator. Its small tip delivers vibrations right to my clit. The vibrations are a bit buzzy, but it is extremely quiet. It's not big enough to be a great insertion toy, so it's pretty much a single-function toy but for the price it's worth it. It's made of plastic, also safer than the TPR that the Twisted Hearts is made of and requires only one AAA battery. It has a button on the base to control its three speeds.

The Lelo Ella is a great G-spot stimulating dildo. However, it is a dildo, not a vibrator, so it falls into a very different category than the Twisted Hearts. But, it's still a better G-spot toy than the Twisted Hearts, and it's made of 100% silicone, with a double-ended, ergonomic design that makes it excellent at stimulating the vagina in many wonderful ways.

I can't give any recommendations on a girthy G-spot/clitoral vibrator that works. I'm still searching for one myself. But I know that the Twisted Hearts Seduction did not work for me. My search continues.