Twisted hearts seduction - massager by Doc Johnson - review by A Woman And Her Wand

Don't see a heart, but I do see a whale.

While this is a very pretty toy, it isn't really functional for everyday use. The toy is to thick for clit stimulation and ok for internal, until you reach the little part that flares out. The flare is painful for insertion. This is a loud toy that gives better than expected vibrations.
Soft yet firm
Better than expected vibration
Painful/Awkward to use
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


Personally, I feel that the best use for this vibrator would be to leave it in your toy chest. However, for those who want to play with it, I'm thinking clit stimulation would be all it could be used for. That, or actual massage, but the vibrations aren't strong enough for a great (or even good?) back rub, so I don't know. This vibrator has a soft tip on it, so you can apply a lot of pressure, but still have it feel soft and comfy. The rest of the toy is firm, so you can get a good grasp on it. While the shape is pleasing to the eye, it really doesn't do anything extra for play, and in fact, kinda hurt for internal use of the toy. The fact that it is phthalate-free is definitely a plus for me, cause who likes all those nasty chemicals? Not me!

The width of this toy makes for awkward clit stimulation, but it can be done with a little bit of work. Personally, I prefer intense vibration and this toy did not do the trick in that department, it has very light vibrations, although, for the size batteries it uses (AAA) I was surprised that it even offered as much as it did.

As a sexual toy, I would have to say that this is getting a negative review from me, however, for a toy chest filler and such, this is a great little device. It is really good at sitting on my end table and doing nothing!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Campus/roommate living
    • On a bed only
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

When I first opened the box, I noticed that the base of the toy, where you turn it on, was covered in some sort of powder, which kinda made me cringe. Of course, I washed it off before use, but I still can't stop thinking about that. The material is phthalate-free TPR, which means that it is very safe to use for one person, but should not be shared with others due to the porous material. After playing around with it for a while, I started to notice that ANYTHING will stick to this hair, my hair, lie! Once I saw that hair was sticking all over it, I decided to see what else would stick, and sure enough, I easily got a penny to stick to it.

I'm pretty sure you can lower the stick factor by adding some corn starch to it, but I didn't have any on hand to try it.
    • Flexible
    • Smooth
    • Sticky

Design / Shape / Size

I assume that they called it the Twisted Hearts because it is supposed to look like a heart that has been twisted. I guess that could be the case, but the first thing I saw was a whale more-so in the blue version than the pink, but most definitely whale, either way. The toy is bulky and has a thick layer of blubber. It is easily detectable as an adult toy, so the only way to hide it is to put it in your toy chest or drawer. I would not recommend this for travel, due to the size of it. If you are getting this toy because it is currently on the list of "Free with any purchase" items, then go for it, it's free, but you should know that you get what you pay for. No money = no orgasm!
    • Beginner
    • Partner play
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

This is a twist to power toy, and the directions say to twist it tightly when installing the batteries, however, I found that closing it tightly made it so the toy would not function, and I had to loosely close the battery cover for it to work at all. This is supposed to be waterproof, but due to not being able to shut the battery compartment fully, I would not try to use this in the tub. For using AAA batteries, this thing did have a good amount of kick to it, but it was on the loud side, so I wouldn't recommend using it when the in-laws are over.
    • Easy to use
    • Multiple settings
    • Not very discreet

Care and Maintenance

This is a fairly easy toy to take care of, I mean a bit of Climax Burst Toy Cleaner and a rag will do the trick, but being a porous material, still shouldn't be shared with other people even after being cleaned. I have been storing it in the original box, although the box is bulky and takes up quite a bit of room in my toy chest. Just gives me an excuse to buy a bigger toy chest! Or an excuse to throw it out, not sure yet, cause even if a toy sucks, I can't bring myself to get rid of it, maybe it's the cheapskate in me?
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store


The toy was packaged in a way that does not hide what it is at all! It is not only clear, but it boldly states what the item is right on the cover. There were no instructions included inside of the package, luckily it was blonde proof and I didn't really need the instructions anyway. I do use the box for storage, but I'm sure that given time, it will break, since it is that thick brittle plastic. It would make a nice box for gifting though, because it is sturdy and symmetrical, which makes wrapping easier.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet
    • Would make a nice gift

Personal comments

Honestly, I did not enjoy this toy what-so-ever. Sure, it's kinda cute, but that is as far as I got with a good impression of this toy. There is not enough power, and being low power, it is far to loud. It is to big, it's painful and it doesn't work unless you leave the battery compartment partially open, which I can't see as safe.


I'm not sure how much I can write about my experience. I opened the box, washed off the crazy powder, inserted the batteries, got confused when it didn't work, cracked open the battery compartment, turned it on and groaned. Not in an excited way, but more of a "What the fuck is this going to do?" sort of way. Honestly, I only used it, so that I could review it, if there was no review involved, that would have been the end of it. I tried some clit stim and felt nothing, so I decided to try it internally...this is NOT a good idea! I have had six kids, so big things in my crotch are not uncommon, but this HURT! The little whale tales (I'm still not convinced it is a heart) scratched my inners and provided no pleasure what-so-ever. I was not happy with the strength of the vibrations, which were not comparable to the loudness it produced. There are FAR better toys that are not only quieter, but much more powerful. Gag gift? Sure! Give it to your friend who is already sexually frustrated, and you will have lost a friend though, cause this will NOT do the trick!
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This review was edited by
  • Dangerous Lilly Dangerous Lilly
  • Rank:
  • Edited reviews: 190
  • Dangerous Lilly
    I'm totally going to do the penny test now on my toys.

    Incidentally it's also a good way to show toy size
  • spnkegrl
    I was also thinking the part that flares out looked painful for insertion. It is a nice looking toy though.
  • The Curious Couple
    Very nice review, thank you!
  • A Woman And Her Wand
    LOL @ Dangerous Lilly, that is very true, it is a good size comparison. I was shocked that it actually stuck though...

  • Willow Wand
    haha! How funny!
  • K101
    This thing just looks humongous to me! Lol. I have no idea wha'ts with the powedery mess ? Every Laura Berman toy I've had had that crap on it and it rolled off, but wouldn't wash away. ICK! When I kept washing and then rubbing them with my hands, there would be this nasty, sticky, glue-like substance that never went away! That is just weird and a huge turn off. I've yet to figure out what it is. I hate that this toy was a fail, but it does look like nothing more than a gag gift and I still wouldn't even waste money on that. Lol. Great review!
  • A Woman And Her Wand
    Thanks kendra. Yea, have no idea what that powder is, but it did seem to come of with a washing, which was good. I now have 4 of these because they are free right now, and I have been using them as giveaways on my site, but I would NOT pay for this, nor would I sell it to anyone, lol.
  • Beck
    Thanks for sharing, great job on the review This toy is a total flop.
  • P'Gell
    ONE VROOOM? I think my cell phone has more VROOOMS than that.
  • Kaltir
    Thanks for the review
  • Kitka
    Great review! I was wondering how others felt about the flared out spot on this one, thanks for sharing this with us
  • A Woman And Her Wand
    LOL Yea P'Gell that was my thought too!
  • PassionCpl
    Great review, thanks!
  • SassySam
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