I Don't Heart The Twisted Hearts Seduction

I'm not sure what Doc Johnson had in mind when they made this toy. I can't see any distinct use for it. If you could manage to insert it, it might be good for G-spot play, but I wouldn't recommend it (if you even could) because it could end up hurting you. You could possibly use the nubs on your clitoris or if you don't mind a broader vibration, you could use the tip for the same thing. The vibrations might feel nice on your nipples and on other parts of your body, as well as your partner's. It's not too big, so it wouldn't really get in the way when it comes to couple play. It would work for solo play as well. This could be used anywhere, even the shower since it's waterproof, so long as there aren't people nearby because the sound is rather loud.

This toy is NOT for anal use (though I would have to commend you if you could manage to insert it there, anyway). It does not have a flared base, a retrieval cord or any other method of keeping it from getting lost inside of you. You would be safe if you just used the vibrations around your anus, since the tip is so large and the nubs would stop the toy from going inside you without your permission.

The Twisted Heats Seduction is made of a rubber polymer blend known as TPR (or TPE). As such, it is firm. There is not much flexibility to this toy, though the nubs can move a little (they'll spring right back into place as soon as you let go). There is a LOT of drag to this toy. Another bad thing about the material is that it attracts dirt and hair like crazy. I have the toy stored in the original packaging (which is essentially a plastic holder in a plastic box) and it STILL managed to get some hair on it. The dial part of the toy is made of plastic.

The overall texture of this toy is smooth (ignoring the drag of it). There are two nubs that break up the shape of it but they're also smooth themselves. There is a visible seam running through the middle of the toy but you can't feel it at all with light touching and you can barely feel it when you press harder on it. Because of the packaging that it came in, there are dents in my Twisted Hearts Seduction. They show no signs of springing back out to normal. However, they are very small and hardly noticeable, nor do they affect the quality of the toy.

Being that it is made of TPR, it is porous and phthalate-free. It cannot be bleached or boiled to sterilize it. You should only share it with someone whom you are already sharing bodily fluids. Normally for a porous toy such as this, I would suggest using a condom on it if you wanted to share it. However, due to the wide nature of this toy and the peculiar shape, it's not likely that a condom will fit over it.

The design of the toy is one of the only things I like about this toy (in theory). It is the shape of two halves of a heart put together, facing opposite sides so that the "bottoms" of the halves produce two nubs. It really is a creative design and I find it adorable. I also like the purple color of the one that I got. However, this isn't an art piece. It's a sex toy. It looks good but it doesn't work well. The box states that the Twisted Hearts Seduction is "designed by women, for women, in shapes only a woman can truly appreciate". I find this incredibly hard to believe. As a woman, would you rather have a toy that looks good or works well? I think the answer to that is obvious. Appearance should ADD to the quality of the toy, not subtract from it. I also find this slogan a little sexist, but I digress. The design could be considered discreet because who in their right mind would look at the Twisted Hearts Seduction and think "sex toy"? It could probably pass as a personal massager if someone were to stumble upon it. The battery compartment is located on the bottom end of the toy. Simply twist the plastic part to the right, spin around until open and easily slide the AAA batteries in.

The tip of the toy is far too wide for easy insertion, not to mention the top nub would stop you from getting it in very far. I tried for a little bit to get it in, but I didn't try too hard, knowing it would hurt. From what I've read in other reviews, it is painful to get this toy inside. Worse still, it is even more painful to take out. A toy should not hurt you (unless, of course, it's a BDSM toy and that's what you're looking for). I would not recommend trying to insert this toy unless you're a champ.

The full length of the Twisted Hearts Seduction is 5 3/4". Its widest width, including the nubs, is 2 3/8". It is 1 1/4" at its thinnest point.

Full Length: 5 3/4"
Widest Width: 2 3/8"
Thinnest Width: 1 1/4"

The Twisted Hearts Seduction is incredibly easy to use. All you have to do to turn it on is twist the dial to the right. Once on, simply twist the dial further to the right to increase the vibration. That's it. Since it's simple to use, it's suitable for beginners and advanced users alike. The vibrations are located in the tip of the toy which is good because it's really only suitable for exterior use. At least, this would be good if the tip of the toy weren't so wide and not really good for focused attention. Another note about the vibrations are that they are rumbly and may numb you.

Now we come to my absolute least favorite thing about this toy: the vibration strength to noise ratio. The vibrations in this toy are incredibly weak. There are definitely weaker toys out there but it is inexcusable how weak the vibrations are considering how loud the toy is. In order to use the toy without being heard through the door (hopefully), I had to bury it under multiple layers of a thick blanket. Even on the lowest setting, the toy is still rather loud. This is definitely not the toy for you if you have children or family that live with you, or if you want a toy that has stronger vibrations. My two bullets are stronger than this toy and much, much quieter.

And now we come to the best part: It's waterproof! You can never have too many waterproof toys in case you want to get frisky in the shower or hot tub. This toy seems to do fairly well in water, though I do wish there was a sealing ring or something of the sort to better help keep the water out.

The Twisted Hearts Seduction is fairly easy to clean. It is best cleaned with a toy cleaner or wipes. If you want, you can clean it with warm water and mild soap. Since it's waterproof, you don't have to worry about ruining the toy by getting it wet in the wrong places. And the cap screws on easily and tightly, making it quite secure. You may have to clean it frequently, however, due to the fact that the toy collects dust and hair easily. Make sure it's dry before you store it in an enclosed area because the porous nature of the toy will collect bacteria and keep it.

The toy is pretty easy to store but it depends on what you store it in. It has a short size so you could fit it in multiple places, but because it's bulbous and has a strange shape, it can likely be easily seen through thin material. However, if you have something solid to store it in or something with thick material, you could even take it traveling with you without much worry.

Absolutely do NOT use oil lubricant on this toy. Oil lube can damage TPR toys. However, you are free to use water-based and silicone-based lubricant. You don't have to worry about it touching your other toys. Since I'm just a beginner, all I've got in terms of toy storage is a shoe box and it does just fine in there.

I like the box that the Twisted Hearts Seduction came in. The front and sides have dark pink and purple vines and trees all over them. The title of the toy is centered in a light pink heart and there are dark and light pink hearts covering the back of the box. Doc Johnson's website is displayed in white text on the top and bottom lids. The plastic box is clear (except for the back) and you can plainly see the toy inside. One side of the box has some basic information about the toy in five different languages. It mentions in various places on the box that the toy is "non-toxic", "phthalate-free", and "waterproof". The bottom of the back of the box states that the toy takes 2 AAAs (not included), is waterproof and multispeed, and that you should close the cap tightly.

The box isn't exactly discreet, but because of the toy's strange design, it may actually be discreet. The only "sexual" words on the box are "seduction" in the title on the front, and "vibrators" and "eroticism" on the back. If one weren't to look too closely, they might just think it's a personal massager, but if you're worried about it being discovered as a sex toy, you might want to dispose of the box. The box is nice however, and there's a plastic holder inside that fits your toy nicely (though it is what caused the indentations on my toy). You may want to store your toy in the box as I have, but keep in mind that the box is quite a bit bigger than the toy itself, so if space is a concern you'll want to take it out of the box. You could very well keep the toy in its box to give as a gift if the person you're giving it to isn't in a place where others can see it, if they have a problem with that sort of thing.

I got the Twisted Hearts Seduction for free by adding it onto my order as my free gift. As such, I don't feel ripped off by this item, but that doesn't excuse it for its flaws. I'm just glad I didn't pay for it. I really wanted to like this toy because it's so cute. I tried, I really did. I used it a few times in different ways, hoping to find that one use for it that it really excelled at. I found none. It may be for others, if they like unconventional toys and weak vibrations, but it definitely wasn't for me.

My latest experience with the Twisted Hearts Seduction was pretty much like any other experience I've had with it. By that, I mean it was not fun at all. It was more than just disappointing; it was detrimental. I tried for a while to achieve an orgasm with this toy and it just wouldn't work. It felt alright. I made a noise or two. But I definitely didn't experience the "body-shaking" that I do with my other toys. In fact, after trying for so long, the rumbly vibrations of this toy numbed me. When I finally gave up and broke out my trusty High Intensity Bullet, it had to work harder than usual to get me off. I wouldn't really recommend this toy to anyone as it just isn't any good, plain as that. I especially wouldn't pay $26.99 for it. I could have achieved an orgasm faster with just my hand or even achieved one at all. If you want to risk it, go right ahead, but don't say I didn't warn you.