Speeding bullets armor piercing - sex toy by Evolved Novelties - review by Sir

Evolved's Speeding Bullets line of bullet vibrators are made to be extremely powerful, external-use only vibrators. Because of Armor Piercing's small size, using it vaginally will not necessarily be too exciting in terms of girth, but because of its power, it will definitely leave you shaking between your thighs. I should not have to say this, but I will anyway: do not use this anally, I demand you. If you or your partner is tight down there, maybe a little teasing around the area is alright, but if there is any anal elasticity, do not use this at all. It is so tiny that it will easily be lost in the depths of the anal canal.

Since it is so powerful, this is a great little bullet for teasing the clitoris, testicles (where they meet the penis, not near the anal entry), body, or nipples. Paired with a beautiful blindfold and a pair of cuffs, you can easily make a memorable night full of earth-shattering orgasms. Of course, you cannot take this into the bathtub or shower for some water-time lovemaking (not only because it's not waterproof, but because it's so small that it could fall down a drain, too), but you can certainly use it for as many things as you can imagine. I know how I'll be using this little bullet: to tease my little girl's clit and breasts when she's tied up in my bed.

Running your fingers over this little bullet is almost like a dream. It's a velvety smooth plastic that can create friction on wet skin, but also feels wonderful on dry skin. Some people do not like this, because they prefer it when their vibrators glide more smoothly across their skin. My little girl, however, loves that (all of our vibrators so far are Evolved's velvety smooth vibes). Since it is plastic, you can put it in your mouth without feeling repulsed by any bad tastes—though I wouldn't personally do that, unless you plan on choking any time soon. Out of the box, it does have an odd scent, which I actually blame on its packaging.

With plastic, you can use any lubricant and feel safe: oil, silicone, or water-based. Take out your favorite lubricant, lay down, and have fun without worrying if it will melt or become warped.

At about 2 1/2" in length, this bullet is a normal-sized bullet with a curvaceous body that's very cute and attractive. Its shape almost reminds me of Evolved's larger traditional vibrators, Seduction and Diamond Princess. It's like a mixture between the two, with a thicker body like the Diamond Princess but a more pointed head like Seduction. It comes in a few different bright colors, mine being the hot pink selection (similar to the pink used in their Bottle Rockets collection).

The head of this vibrator is only slightly larger in girth than the base, which has a 3/4" diameter. Tapering in to a little over a 1/2" diameter, the pointed head's rim is what has the largest girth. It's a very nice shape to stroke for long periods of time, it almost reminds me of the scene in the second Austin Powers movie where Austin is running his fingers over the chess piece with Ivonna Humpalot. Though you can use this bullet internally (vaginally only, everyone. Do not use this anally by any means.), it's obviously not made for that with its small size.

Some design oddities are the tip of the vibrator's head, the seam running along the outside (barely detectable), and the battery compartment. On the tip, there is a white marking where the plastic is sealed. It is not covered over, and can be felt on the skin when moving the tip over a given area. Where the battery compartment meets the bullet, there is a thin opening that doesn't allow it to close properly. Perhaps this is a manufacturing flaw, but it is what made this perfect vibrator have one less capability, being waterproof. This means that you cannot take it into the shower with you, cannot take it into the bath, no pool play—you must only use this outside of the water.

The battery compartment also confused me for another reason—it was very hard to get the batteries out until I figured out Evolved's design secret. When looking into the battery compartment, there are two metal pieces directly across from each other. This is how the sliding-out compartment works. There is a plastic casing that holds the watch batteries that slides in and out of the compartment, not so easily. To get it out, you have to first try to pop out the first battery, then stick your finger in to take the compartment out. Their reason for doing this is probably so that the batteries do not jostle around in use. To put it back together, just slide the watch batteries into the removable compartment and slide the entire compartment back into the bullet.

Evolved's Armor Piercing Speeding Bullet has a total of five different functions, each of them gradually increasing in intensity and noise level. To cycle through the different functions, press the button on the bottom of the bullet. The only way to turn this off is to cycle through all five, as there is no off setting between functions, or to take out the batteries. The button is enclosed by some sort of jelly material, making it a bit squishy as well as very easy to press, so be careful when changing the vibration—you can accidentally (or purposely) press the button from any angle.

Armor Piercing's first two vibrations are normal motor-like functions, and the next three are varying pulsations, none of the patterns the same as each other. All of the vibration levels can be felt throughout the entire bullet—there is no centralized motor detectable. The bullet, when pressed to the skin, stimulates a very large area, demonstrated in my bathtub. I submerged it in the water, and as I moved it closer to the bottom of the tub, the vibrations made an extremely loud hum—in other words, the tub felt the bullet before they were even touching.

This bullet's first and second speeds are high intensity hums that are fairly loud and strong. Though the second is more intense, the first is just as surprising and extreme. Its third speed is a pulsation setting of long bursts, each humming right after the other. The fourth setting is made of extremely short bursts that are just barely detectable because of their speed. And finally, Armor Piercing's fifth setting consists of a burst from the third setting and an even longer burst following, about twice the length of the shorter burst. They are all very strong vibrations, comparable to traditional vibrators over five times Armor Piercing's size.

There are claims of this bullet being waterproof—I say that this is completely wrong. I put this under water for only a moment, and you know what happened? I opened up the battery compartment, and there were droplets of water, sitting there, waiting for me. I wasn't too annoyed at that, as the feature wasn't necessarily needed anyway, but that definitely does show you that this is not a waterproof bullet. I do not even think that it is splash-proof.

The Speeding Bullets Collection all use three watch batteries, which are included (three in the vibrator, and an extra set in the packaging). Upon opening its packaging and turning mine on, it was immediately getting a bit fuzzy. A couple of times, it even turned off. Not sure what the reasoning is behind this (perhaps it's because they are included), but they were acting very strange in use. Because of this, I recommend taking them out after you've finished using the bullet.

Plastic cannot be sterilized—period, end of discussion. But it is still extremely easy to clean with either an antibacterial soap and water or some alcohol. Even though it has a velvety texture, Armor Piercing does not attract lint or any other particles, which is a very good thing when keeping this little bullet in pristine condition. It's not something that's easily marred or worn out, so it can last for quite a while.

To store it, I am going to keep it in its little packaging box in my special drawer. It can really be put anywhere, as plastic is a sturdy material that stays in good condition no matter where it is (think about it, it stays in landfills for thousands of years).

Armor Piercing comes in a clear plastic box with a black plastic box insert that also has a plastic insert in it—yes, a little hard to explain. The clear plastic casing has some nice lettering styles on it and its basic functions: waterproof (which it's not), five functions, and included batteries. On the back is some legal info that can be useful if you're extremely new to using vibrators (do not use it on inflamed or swollen areas). There is a rectangular-shaped insert that is a velvety smooth plastic like the vibrator itself, with another insert (a shinier, cheaper plastic) that sits inside. The two come together, forming a little box between them where the extra batteries sit. The Armor Piercing bullet itself is easily displayed through the clear plastic and sits on the shinier plastic insert.

It's a fairly cute design, though it's not as extravagant as their others, but it is good for easy storage and saves you the hassle of trying to find some other way to put this little bullet away.

It's actually very surprising that such a big thing could come out of such a little bullet vibrator—cute little thing that it is. It definitely packs an agonizing punch for its small size. Though the pink is a bit tough on the eyes, I do like the design of this bullet. It's very adorable and is very intense.

Here are some pictures of Armor Piercing over at my blog.