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Mr. Sexsmith’s Other Girlfriend: The Myth of New York

Mr. Sexsmith’s Other Girlfriend: The Myth of New York
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If New York City was on Facebook, our relationship status would say “It’s Complicated.” I love her, I do; I have idolized her since I was a kid, watching all my favorite cheesy eighties movies like Big Business, The Secret of My Success, and Big, over and over again. Our culture mythologizes her, paints her as the place to be, so full of potential. She might even be The One.

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Comments

Loved the article!! Really miss my time there! Sad face

02/07/2010
Sundae  

Even though I'm on the other side of the world New York is still a mecca for those wanting something more than our tiny little country. It really boggles my mind just the sheer size of the city and the number of things it has to offer - far more than my tiny 1.2 million strong home does. Though I think the variety would be amazing and that there literally would be anything you wanted to do right outside your door I kind of feel that it'd be hard to find your own place there. People are already doing anything and everything better and bigger and more than you are, plus I worry that I'd lose the sense of community that I love about my home city. Though it feels small and like a backwater most of the time, I do appreciate that I can go to the centre and always see a familiar face, or know it inside out. New York is definitely on my list of places to go, preferably as a student at college there so I can really understand what it's like to live there, but I don't think I could ever commit to the plunge of a full, permanent move there.

02/07/2010

I do not think I would ever understand New York. I am a suburb woman and I do not particularly like crowded places. I don't go to bars or large social events for that reason. I do not personally thrive and go forward to the hardest challenges, and I like to be able to pay my rent with less than half my monthly pay. But I am still curious to see New York at least once. From what I knew and from your article, I know that a short stay in New York would never allow me to truly understand it's complexity and beauty. It still has to be something that I have to see with my own eyes. Plus, I heard there is a Museum of Sex over there. Why didn't you mention it? Big smile

Seriously, it was a great article, I like the way you personalized the New York City as a capricious woman. Smile

02/07/2010
aldonza27  

Thank you so much for that lovely post. I too have been enthralled by New York since the first time I visited when in 8th grade. I have to say I honestly love living in New York, especially because I've never had a license and I lived in the South for 4 years. The freedom of movement is exhilarating.

Yeah, the city's dirty and crowde. But I lived in Tbilisi, in the Republic of Georgia, for three months. And after the language barrier, being utterly broke, the rampant crime (including gang violence and lots of attempted theft), the unreliable electricity, the post-Soviet squalor, and getting food poisoning and being sexually molested, and my water shut off after 10 PM, I can survive almost anything.

So NY can bring it.

02/08/2010

Oooh! I would LOVE an Aslan harness!

02/09/2010

I haven't been yet. I lived less than an hour away for a little over two months. M said he'll take me one day. I can't wait!

02/09/2010
alphafemme  

Wow, what a beautiful essay. Such a wildly different experience from my own experience moving to San Francisco as a 20s single queer femme. New York is a lot harsher, it seems. Not that San Francisco's cozy, but it is certainly more embracing than New York. I think I'm too soft for New York, to be honest. I think it would harden me in ways I'm not so sure I want.

02/09/2010
Kendrir  

"But more than that, I wanted to find myself. By which I mean I wanted to find people like me." That's a neverending quest if I've ever heard one - especially when when you self-identify with so many variant interests over the course of your life! hehehehe. Finding communities in the local world has always been difficult for me, perhaps that's why I've been so thankful for the online world. Big smile

Very thoughtful article, and a chance to win a harness to boot!

02/09/2010
kmack432  

The most interesting thing about this for me is that everyone has their own New York. For most people it is New York. For me it's Washington DC. For some kids it's San Francisco, or Nashville, or Tokyo.

I really like this article especially the idea of looking for yourself by looking for people like you.

Also, as a really poor genderqueer kid who wants a harness but has no money this is a pretty awesome opportunity. Thanks for doing this contest.

02/09/2010

I love your articles

11/06/2010
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Total comments: 30
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