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Sex and the Suburbs: I Promise to Love, Cherish and Not Get Caught?

Sex and the Suburbs:  I Promise to Love, Cherish and Not Get Caught? Logos by Melanie Amorim
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Cheating on one’s spouse has become big business—just ask Ashley Madison.

  I Am Not Ashley Madison

I briefly entertained the idea that some people really could make their marriages better by going outside their vows. If so many people are doing it, it surely can’t be wrong for everyone. I also wondered what kind of men I would encounter were I to join, and if I would indeed, find that these really were good guys, just sexually frustrated or ‘trapped’ in unhappy marriages. I came this close to joining. But then I decided that I really didn’t need to know. And I did know that I respected my husband too much to interact with them, even for the sake of research.

And then I slapped myself upside my head for being so naïve.

Because after serious thought, I was fairly certain that most of these men and women were conducting their affairs behind the backs of their spouses. They can hide behind statements like, “monogamy is just not natural for me,” and, “my marriage is better because I cheat” until the cows come home, but in reality, they are cowards. They married someone, promised to be faithful, and then changed their minds. Yes, it is every spouse’s prerogative to change their mind, and people fall out of love all the time. But can’t we accept the fact that unless you’ve sincerely agreed on having an open relationship, using a site like Ashley Madison is just kinda sleazy? Let’s all man—or woman—up, and either be married or not—and adhere to the decorum that comes with it—which includes being faithful.

There are many happy couples out there who do have open relationships, or enjoy swinging or swapping partners, but Ashley Madison is peddling a whole different brand of infidelity. The site is effectively encouraging these people to possibly destroy their marriages by seeking someone to have sex with on the sly. Ashley Madison is an enabler. But enablers don’t act alone. Ashley Madison is not single-handedly ruining marriages because of their savvy marketing strategies. A spouse is not going to cheat simply because they saw a clever ad; if they’re going to cheat, it is because they choose to. It’s not about marketing, it’s about commitment.

However, I have to wonder how the creator of Ashley Madison rationalizes the service he provides. Then again, I guess he’s rationalizing all the way to the bank, so who am I to judge?

I don’t want another man. I don’t need another husband. I love the one I have, and I promised to love, cherish and be faithful to him. So I have no use for a site like Ashley Madison.

Now, another wife...that’s something I could get behind. Think of all the laundry that would get done. I’m thinking of starting my own site—WifeFinder.com. The slogan? “No Sex. Just Laundry.” It’d be like Big Love, minus the annoying, manipulative Nicky—and the Viagra, but definitely with all the free babysitting.

Who’s with me?

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