Personally, I own lots of BDSM toys, but when somebody asks me "how many sex toys" do you own, I only consider my vibrators and other *sex* toys. To me, BDSM is seperate from sex, and they are a separate category. I was just wondering if others thought the same way. Do you consider restraints, whips, floggers, paddles, etc. to be in the category of "sex toys" or are they off on their own?
When asked how many sex toys you own, do you group in BDSM toys with that or do you consider them to be different?
12/31/2009
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Actually, this is an argument I've had internally for a while. I usually just tell them the dildos/vibes/plugs/etc count, and then say, "and then there's my bondage gear..."
12/31/2009
Same for me. In my mind, it's a different category completely. Sex toys is everything else, like cock rings, dildos, vibrators, anal plugs (certain ones), etc. For me, anything that is a sex toy without the adornments is a "sex toy." Anything with adornments is not. Like a butt plug with a tail attached. That isn't a sex toy, its a piece of BDSM things. A penis cage may seem like a form of cock ring, but I consider that too to be a BDSM item.
12/31/2009
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Penis cage, definitely agree
Originally posted by
Sir
Same for me. In my mind, it's a different category completely. Sex toys is everything else, like cock rings, dildos, vibrators, anal plugs (certain ones), etc. For me, anything that is a sex toy without the adornments is a "sex toy."
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Same for me. In my mind, it's a different category completely. Sex toys is everything else, like cock rings, dildos, vibrators, anal plugs (certain ones), etc. For me, anything that is a sex toy without the adornments is a "sex toy." Anything with adornments is not. Like a butt plug with a tail attached. That isn't a sex toy, its a piece of BDSM things. A penis cage may seem like a form of cock ring, but I consider that too to be a BDSM item.
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12/31/2009
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that it's BDSM, and that there are sometimes sort of subtle differences.
Originally posted by
Miss Jane
Penis cage, definitely agree
Premature enter-key-hitting ;p
12/31/2009
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Exactly. For me, there is an obvious distinction, although some would disagree.
Originally posted by
Miss Jane
Actually, this is an argument I've had internally for a while. I usually just tell them the dildos/vibes/plugs/etc count, and then say, "and then there's my bondage gear..."
12/31/2009
Sort of. There are some BDSM items that I put in with everything else, likes pairs of cuffs, paddles, and my wartenberg pinwheel. But there are other things like tape, rope, and hardware that I think of as being separate. It's fairly arbitrary.
12/31/2009
I don't really have the room or facilities to separate stuff
12/31/2009
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I can understand that. In my old apartment, we didn't.
Originally posted by
Adriana Ravenlust
I don't really have the room or facilities to separate stuff
In what's possibly the most odd thing ever, my sex toys are hidden in a drawer while my BDSM toys have an entire room to themselves. Most visitors know about our BDSM lifestyle, but I consider sex toys to be a little more personal.
12/31/2009
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Mostly, I'm just disorganized.
Originally posted by
Kayla
I can understand that. In my old apartment, we didn't.
In what's possibly the most odd thing ever, my sex toys are hidden in a drawer while my BDSM toys have an entire room to themselves. Most visitors know about our BDSM lifestyle, ... more
In what's possibly the most odd thing ever, my sex toys are hidden in a drawer while my BDSM toys have an entire room to themselves. Most visitors know about our BDSM lifestyle, ... more
I can understand that. In my old apartment, we didn't.
In what's possibly the most odd thing ever, my sex toys are hidden in a drawer while my BDSM toys have an entire room to themselves. Most visitors know about our BDSM lifestyle, but I consider sex toys to be a little more personal. less
In what's possibly the most odd thing ever, my sex toys are hidden in a drawer while my BDSM toys have an entire room to themselves. Most visitors know about our BDSM lifestyle, but I consider sex toys to be a little more personal. less
12/31/2009
i also went with "differently."
For example, i would consider a knife or some rope to be part of my BDSM gear. Definitely not sex toys, though.
For example, i would consider a knife or some rope to be part of my BDSM gear. Definitely not sex toys, though.
12/31/2009
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I keep the pleasure stuff separate from the pain stuff
Originally posted by
Kayla
Personally, I own lots of BDSM toys, but when somebody asks me "how many sex toys" do you own, I only consider my vibrators and other *sex* toys. To me, BDSM is seperate from sex, and they are a separate category. I was just wondering if
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Personally, I own lots of BDSM toys, but when somebody asks me "how many sex toys" do you own, I only consider my vibrators and other *sex* toys. To me, BDSM is seperate from sex, and they are a separate category. I was just wondering if others thought the same way. Do you consider restraints, whips, floggers, paddles, etc. to be in the category of "sex toys" or are they off on their own?
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01/07/2010
My vote would be "Other". If I could draw a picture on here there would be two circles labeled "sex toys" and "BDSM toys" and they overlap. In the "sex toys" circle only is the obvious vibes, dildos, butt plugs, etc. In "BDSM" circle only is rope, whips, paddles, knives, etc. - more tools than toys really. In the overlapping section would be thinks like cock cages, nipple clamps, butt plugs with tails, etc. - sex toys that are primarily used in BDSM. Hope that makes sense.
Though I'm not going off of personal experience. I have underthebed restraints that still haven't come out of the box, and that's it for BDSM-type stuff. So this is just a thought.
Though I'm not going off of personal experience. I have underthebed restraints that still haven't come out of the box, and that's it for BDSM-type stuff. So this is just a thought.
01/07/2010
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Smart - and I'm loving the idea of your toys and product Venn Diagram
Originally posted by
LikeSunshineDust
My vote would be "Other". If I could draw a picture on here there would be two circles labeled "sex toys" and "BDSM toys" and they overlap. In the "sex toys" circle only is the obvious vibes, dildos, butt
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more
My vote would be "Other". If I could draw a picture on here there would be two circles labeled "sex toys" and "BDSM toys" and they overlap. In the "sex toys" circle only is the obvious vibes, dildos, butt plugs, etc. In "BDSM" circle only is rope, whips, paddles, knives, etc. - more tools than toys really. In the overlapping section would be thinks like cock cages, nipple clamps, butt plugs with tails, etc. - sex toys that are primarily used in BDSM. Hope that makes sense.
Though I'm not going off of personal experience. I have underthebed restraints that still haven't come out of the box, and that's it for BDSM-type stuff. So this is just a thought. less
Though I'm not going off of personal experience. I have underthebed restraints that still haven't come out of the box, and that's it for BDSM-type stuff. So this is just a thought. less
01/07/2010
I generally consider it all the same. I separate insertables from non-insertables but that's about it. That may be because I'm usually more excited about BDSM toys than insertables (except for butt plugs. Man, I love butt plugs!).
For those of you who separate, where do you categorize something like an enema nozzle or syringe, both of which go inside the bottom?
For those of you who separate, where do you categorize something like an enema nozzle or syringe, both of which go inside the bottom?
01/07/2010
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Venn diagram! That's the word I was looking for but was too lazy to look it up
Originally posted by
Victoria
Smart - and I'm loving the idea of your toys and product Venn Diagram
01/07/2010
Toys are simple to count but when it comes to BDSM gear, it is confusing. Restraints, cuffs, my gag, spreader bar, paddles and whips, never counted them. Then there are my harnesses? My b/f,s masturbation sleeve is his....they are all sex related but too much trouble to list or categorize..
Issue comes up when I have certain company and have to do a fast sweep of my place to hide everything sex related, including lube and toys that are recharging.
Just this am, in the bathroom, I noticed a harness hanging from the shower curtain rod, my b/f's masturbation drying on the window sill, a bunch of dills in the sink that needed attention and a vibe that was missing its charger.
Issue comes up when I have certain company and have to do a fast sweep of my place to hide everything sex related, including lube and toys that are recharging.
Just this am, in the bathroom, I noticed a harness hanging from the shower curtain rod, my b/f's masturbation drying on the window sill, a bunch of dills in the sink that needed attention and a vibe that was missing its charger.
01/08/2010
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I definitely agree. I don't really draw a firm line between "sex toys" and "not sex toys". The line gets way too blurry, especially when you're into pervertables and DIY. When asked how many I have, the way I answer depends on the person. If I know they consider non-BDSM stuff to be toys, I just count the toys and say "plus my bondage stuff". If I know they consider gear to be toys, or toys to be gear, then I count it all together.
Originally posted by
LikeSunshineDust
My vote would be "Other". If I could draw a picture on here there would be two circles labeled "sex toys" and "BDSM toys" and they overlap. In the "sex toys" circle only is the obvious vibes, dildos, butt
...
more
My vote would be "Other". If I could draw a picture on here there would be two circles labeled "sex toys" and "BDSM toys" and they overlap. In the "sex toys" circle only is the obvious vibes, dildos, butt plugs, etc. In "BDSM" circle only is rope, whips, paddles, knives, etc. - more tools than toys really. In the overlapping section would be thinks like cock cages, nipple clamps, butt plugs with tails, etc. - sex toys that are primarily used in BDSM. Hope that makes sense.
Though I'm not going off of personal experience. I have underthebed restraints that still haven't come out of the box, and that's it for BDSM-type stuff. So this is just a thought. less
Though I'm not going off of personal experience. I have underthebed restraints that still haven't come out of the box, and that's it for BDSM-type stuff. So this is just a thought. less
And if I don't know enough about the person's tastes to make the call, I just say something along the lines of "...a bunch?"
01/20/2010
I always group mine differently just because I keep BDSM and sexual play separate from one another. I don't use BDSM as foreplay nor do I use sex to get BDSM play. It's all a separate thing for me
04/18/2010
For us, sex and BDSM go hand-in-hand. Partly because part of my service to him is keeping him fulfilled sexually. Also because we enjoy mixing pleasure and pain. So to me, while BDSM toys aren't solely used for sexual purposes in our relationship, that is one of their main uses. Hence, I dub them sex toys.
05/16/2010
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It's all the same to me.
Originally posted by
DELETED
I keep the pleasure stuff separate from the pain stuff
06/25/2010
I consider my vibes and plugs and all that sex toys but never consider "our" BDSM things as sex toys. Partly because I can't use them for sexual needs by themselves. For instance, we have handcuffs and rope and use them sexually but I can use those when I'm alone, so I don't consider them sex toys. But I guess when we're together, I DO consider them to be sex toys...shit, I'm just confusing myself.
07/19/2010
I consider them to be separate as well. I even store them in different places but now that I think about it I am not really sure why lol
07/19/2010
We don't use the cuffs and the tethers unless we're having sex, so I just include them, I guess, I haven't done an official count in a long time. Do you count one time use stuff, like disposable cock rings? (I didn't buy it, it came as a gift.)
But, I store them in a different place, too. I don't know why. Probably because I'm the Bottom so I usually get to say when we use them, unless he suggests it, which isn't often. (I know it makes NO sense. That's what works for us. Topping from the Bottom..)
But, I store them in a different place, too. I don't know why. Probably because I'm the Bottom so I usually get to say when we use them, unless he suggests it, which isn't often. (I know it makes NO sense. That's what works for us. Topping from the Bottom..)
07/19/2010
Oh, a Venn Diagram. Perfect.
Then you could have a THIRD circle for lubes and a fourth circle, intersecting, for "arousal gels" and then an other one for "sex drugs" like Viagra, phenylephrine, (sometimes it helps with orgasm, I have a weird system) and a fifth (sixth) for massage oils, candles, cremes and stuff? Where does the Liberator go? It's own circle? Porn? In an other intersect?
I'm getting confused.
Then you could have a THIRD circle for lubes and a fourth circle, intersecting, for "arousal gels" and then an other one for "sex drugs" like Viagra, phenylephrine, (sometimes it helps with orgasm, I have a weird system) and a fifth (sixth) for massage oils, candles, cremes and stuff? Where does the Liberator go? It's own circle? Porn? In an other intersect?
I'm getting confused.
07/19/2010
We really don't have many conversations with other people in real life regarding our sex toys, but if we were asked I would group BDSM items together with sex toys I guess. For instance, I think a pair of leather cuffs is a sex toy. I think a dildo harness for my face is a sex toy. I think a chastity belt is a sex toy. However, that all being said, we have rope that is specifically used for bondage in our closet, but I wouldn't count that as a sex toy. I guess to me, what designates it as a sex toy, is that it is a device with a specific use, implicit to sexual activity, and not used otherwise.
07/19/2010
Depends on who is asking. Usually I just count up dildos/plugs/vibes as the main count and then toss in a couple extras for bdsm related stuff. But it kind of depends. I don't often get asked what all we have.
07/19/2010
Truthfully, I do usually lump them all together. If I use it during sex, I think of it as a sex toy. Some of the things I use outside of sex like gags, clamps or restraints, but they still turn me on, so I still think of them as sex toys.
07/19/2010
Depends on who I'm talking to. If it's another BDSM person? Yes. If it's a vanilla person who would keel over if I even hinted at BDSM? No. The reason I say that is just in case they ask what kind of toys I have after asking how many or something. I don't like to explain it to real life friends if I can avoid it. A lot of time they don't understand like my friends in the community do.
07/20/2010
I lump them together just because all the sex we have (with very few exceptions) is kinky sex. I think the only separating we do is along impact versus non-impact toys.
07/21/2010
Total posts: 55
Unique posters: 49
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