Read, read, read, and read some more. Research as much as possible. Ask people that are involved in BDSM (if possible). Join communities (whether it's online or in real life). Read up on safety and practice it. And only do it with someone you trust. If you feel even a tiny bit unsafe or lack of trust don't get involved with that person and BDSM.

I've recently become involved in some local bdsm, M/s, and D/s groups in my area. W/we are finding it much more helpful. The community has been unbelievable welcoming and willing to share, mentor and teach. I'm finding a lot of solace and peace in being part of the community. The first meeting I attended was such a relief, to hear the other people's explanations and experiences of how they serve and submit and accept service and submission. I almost started tearing up. Not that everyone will have that strong of a reaction, obviously, but finding likeminded people who shared the same needs as I have was huge. And it seems to have been helpful for my girlfriend as well.

Local bdsm communities have introductory meetings called "munches," which involve discussion and a meal or snackage of some sort. As suggested above you should read, read, and read some more. While I don't really use it much for the social networking capacity, fetlife is useful for finding information about local events unless your local community has another website or private list-serve of some sort.

It's VERY important to note, if you're getting involved in the community, attending munches or other events and the online community, IE fetlife that most people in the BDSM community are "in the closet" so to speak. Most of our families are not aware of their proclivities and activities and we wish to keep it so. Please respect our privacy. Most of us won't discuss our kink or anything to do with it on our facebooks because we talk to our families, sometimes children, parents, cousins, grandparents, etc. or even our bosses and coworkers. We don't all make it known at work that we are part of that lifestyle. If you find someone on fetlife or meet someone at an event, don't run over to facebook and friend them there and start talking about BDSM on their wall. Don't out them to their friends (unless you know for a fact that such friends are part of the lifestyle and already know), families, work contacts or anything else. PIctures and video at most events are STRICTLY prohibited for reasons of privacy. Respect in the BDSM community is HUGE. Respect boundaries and privacy. This should be a given, but it happens alllllll the time and is a pretty big issue and fear among most members of the community. Tread lightly until you get to know people and get to know the etiquette and "netiquette". Ask all the questions you want, it will be seen as a desire to learn which will be respected. Just remember to be courteous and respectful and discreet when not in a dedicate BDSM space.

Reading - getting involved in online activities if you so choose, or moving straight to meet ups with the community in your area - etc.