The New Intimacy

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Contributor: sugarOne sugarOne
Do you think while doing bdsm with your partner you should have a safety word?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
yes
sugarOne , Destri , onehotmomma , chaos4fun , Trashley , Viktor Vysheslav Malkin , ToyGeek , Raggedy Andie , lunapixie , RadRach , Tart , gothikstars , Kinkyquing , namelesschaos , MeliPixie , LavenderSkies , Danielle1220 , Faith , PussyGalore , Airekah , ~LaUr3n~ , Mistress Kitty , Lummox , Selective Sensualist , Redboxbaby , Kim! , sbon , Lindz86 , dv8 , *HisMrs* , Crystal1 , Vaccinium , Lio , vanillaSpice , Xavier7 , Lady Neshamah , Alan & Michele , danila , darthkitt3n , C4ss , Miss Madeline , Purpleladybug , TboyTy , Angel deSanguine , thedude , Modern^Spank^Anthem , *Huxley* , Lily Night , ellejay , Lady Marmelade , toxie m , CD37 , cburger , Joie de Cherresse , REDRUM , MaryExy , barrettbn2 , bunny love , k3 , kelaaa33wish , wetone123 , newfoundlust , sixfootsex , padmeamidala , tickle me pink , Gunsmoke , potstickers , Scott Ghost , P'Gell , anonymouse58 , csdx , sumie , indiglo , froggiemoma , K101 , stlouisxxx , Ava5 , Lucky21 , Taylor , strawberrystwstd , Errant Venture , ily , averageguyextrodinarypleasure , SomeGirl , RonLee , systematicweasel , Vanessa Weiss , TheSlyFox , kittenfacery , caligaliber , Terri69 , leanright69 , unfulfilled , Bex1331 , StarFire , Squeaky , VelvetDragon , joja , gsfanatic , USJT130119200518 , hall5885 , Greenleaf , RavenWings , xilliannax , Faeya , BlooJay , indiechick , blackadeezee , Boyqueen , freshbananas , Strider , Stagger13 , Pandwhora , amenti , palindromic , karenm , Dear Ruby
117
no
Shellz31 , slynch , Vanessa Weiss
3
Total votes: 120 (119 voters)
Poll is closed
08/30/2010
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Contributor: sugarOne sugarOne
I think you should have a saftey word in anything you do when doing bdsm. I personally never really used one. But I have one just in case.
08/30/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
There is a similar post here.
08/30/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
And not just a safety word, but a safety action. Especially if you play around with strangulation. Safety first! THEN teamwork...
10/09/2010
Contributor: RadRach RadRach
Always

<3
10/15/2010
Contributor: Tart Tart
Quote:
Originally posted by sugarOne
I think you should have a saftey word in anything you do when doing bdsm. I personally never really used one. But I have one just in case.
Word.
10/21/2010
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Quote:
Originally posted by Trashley
And not just a safety word, but a safety action. Especially if you play around with strangulation. Safety first! THEN teamwork...
Exactly and checking in just to make sure if your with a new partner is another good idea too.
11/04/2010
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
Yes a safety word is a very good idea, just to make sure everything is going okay on the other end of things
11/22/2010
Contributor: sbon sbon
Even if you never have to use it, having a safe word/action is always a good idea. It's really easy to get caught up in a scene and accidentally take things too far. You shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to use it.
12/13/2010
Contributor: C4ss C4ss
Yes, always. As was said before it's a good idea to have one even if you end up not using it. You never know...
12/13/2010
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
Yes, and even more important, a partner you trust!
01/22/2011
Contributor: vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
If you're in any situation where "no, stop" wouldn't necessarily mean that - yes, no exceptions, you should have a safeword or gesture.
01/23/2011
Contributor: Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
Quote:
Originally posted by RadRach
Always

<3
yes yes yes.

i never do a scene without a safeword.
01/23/2011
Contributor: thedude thedude
yeahhh
02/03/2011
Contributor: Modern^Spank^Anthem Modern^Spank^Anthem
yes
02/03/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
Quote:
Originally posted by Trashley
And not just a safety word, but a safety action. Especially if you play around with strangulation. Safety first! THEN teamwork...
Definitely a safety action, too.

If there's doubt, a safe word should be used.
04/27/2011
Contributor: barrettbn2 barrettbn2
definitely
04/27/2011
Contributor: kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
I don't really get into this, but if I was too I would want a safe word.
04/28/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by sugarOne
Do you think while doing bdsm with your partner you should have a safety word?
Better to have one and never need it than to need it and not have it.
04/28/2011
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by sugarOne
Do you think while doing bdsm with your partner you should have a safety word?
I have a safety word but have rarely used it. It is there in case I have a problem during playing, especially with having neck/back problems from a car accident. One time I had to use it because of pressure on my neck and was bothering me from bondage.
04/28/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
Absolutely! It's always better to be safe than sorry. And in cases where you aren't able to speak, like others have said it's good to have a safety action too.
04/28/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I'm only going with 'no' because I have to fully trust a partner before the full on BDSM would happen. With being a sub, I expect (if the relationship had gotten to that point) my Dom to be in tune with me enough to know exactly how much to push me in each area. So in that case, I don't require a safe word.

I believe it comes down to how in tune you are with each other. My online Master even knows how far to push me - there is an intuitive-ness on his behalf..... whether skeptics want to believe it or not.
07/14/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I think definitely yes. You should have a safe word. Even with non BDSM activities, you should always have a way to say stop if you feel the need; but especially with BDSM activities, where pain and other such things are involved.
07/15/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by newfoundlust
Better to have one and never need it than to need it and not have it.
That's a very good point!
07/15/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
yep
07/15/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Even though we've never had to use it and we don't get really rough, we have the simple no. or i don't like that. Seems to be good enough for light play.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Well, in the more heavier stuff, a safe word is very useful, because sometimes when she says 'no' she really means 'yes', and sometimes when she says 'no' she really means 'no', so a non sequitur phrase or word can come in handy for those times. So, yes, but we've rarely used ours. If ever, actually.
07/20/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
If your partner says no you should be willing to stop
08/02/2011
Contributor: systematicweasel systematicweasel
Well, I think if they say no you should be willing to stop, but A code word is another safe way of practicing. I'd say, always have a code word ^^
08/06/2011
Contributor: Vanessa Weiss Vanessa Weiss
I voted both yes and no because it's really up to you, as a couple, to decide whether "Stop" or "no" or "I'm done" (all things I've used to stop a scene) are effective enough. If you're playing with someone who isn't your long-term or primary partner then DEFINITELY have a safe-word. If it's your boyfriend/girlfriend/h usband/best friend/life partner/whatever, I think perhaps it's more open to negotiation.
08/07/2011