Everyone has their own definition of what "rough" sex is, and what it actually means. For some people, this is emotional, for some this is purely physical and the emotional side is completely off limits. Even if you are only looking at physical- you have a huge range of behaviors from a gentle spanking to learning to feel the sensations of a whip, electrical play, piercings, fire play and who know's what else.

In my mind though, "rough" does not equate to "I enjoy rough sex, so you can hurt me randomly in any way you think seems right." I think most people would agree, and then immediately start emphasizing the need for communication. (Let's sidestep the communication issue here, because I'm quite capable of communicating "I don't like that, don't touch me like that because, etc.")

BDSM or "rough" is a combination of sensations that may include discomfort or pain, but also include pleasure and ARE agreed upon.

What I'm looking for is a articles or blog posts that are well written that can explain "rougher" sex to someone who might not get the balance or pleasure/pain or that agreement is a huge part of the balance of what you actually want.

Any suggestions? less

Unfortunately (maybe?) I think this is the common belief among those who do not enjoy really roughness [in the bedroom]. It's all based on perception, but the thing about those who like rough (although, admittedly, I don't think I would care to have the same level of rough as Carrie Ann...that's just me though ).

Unless someone is really open to the idea of truly rough sex, I am not sure it can be explained and understood in full, you know? I feel I am lucky because my friends get it (my family however...not so much).

I am also a very emotional person, so I love a "rough" emotional session as long as the physical aspect is there as well.

@DBD Are you looking to explain to anyone in particular or just a a few general view points? less

link
link ~ half way down under "Real Life"

These are the only two articles I found that are really anything other than a giant opinion. The Wikipedia focuses on the power exchange and how the real power can lie with the sub in that they create the limits.

I would love to see some better articles if anyone has some, I have friends that are interested, but J and I don't mentor because our dynamic won't work for most people (unless it is exactly what they want). less