The New Intimacy

Do you like the idea of locking steel collars as a symbol of ownership?

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Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
Sadly a collar can't always be worn, but I love owning a locking steel collar that can be used in any situation. There's a couple sites that make them and all have the pro's and con's, but regardless of the site you like. Do you like the idea of a collar that can be viewed in a vanilla world as nothing out of the ordinary?

If you'd like to share a site where you got yours or one your lusting after I'd love to see them. I own an Eternity Collar and really want to upgrade to a Ring of Steel now that they offer a thinner gauge.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
94
No
32
I don't own one
74
Total votes: 200 (158 voters)
Poll is closed
08/03/2010
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Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
I think that it's nice that there are things out there for people who like them and want to have some trinket or symbol of their commitment to their partner. Of course, my husband and I don't practice a D/s relationship, but we do wear wedding bands as our own symbol of 'ownership'.
08/03/2010
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
Quote:
Originally posted by sarahbear
I think that it's nice that there are things out there for people who like them and want to have some trinket or symbol of their commitment to their partner. Of course, my husband and I don't practice a D/s relationship, but we do wear ... more
I hope someday that he'll ask and I'll have that option, but for now I'm happy with my collar.
08/03/2010
Contributor: Red Riding Hood Red Riding Hood
I don't think I'd like it to be such a common and widely accepted thing. I think that BDSM ownership goes deep into sex and romance and trust and that there's something more to it than showing others that you are owned. It's one thing to be among others with like-minds and display that devotion, but I also like the idea of it being a precious secret.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
I love it. I have a steel locked on collar that I always wear (except for once or twice when it had to come off for xrays). I do not have the key to it, my husband does. When we got married, I was given it in lieu of a wedding ring. I was with him for a long time before I earned my permanent collar, and I am very proud of it and not ashamed in the least.

Also, no one in the vanilla world realizes what my collar means. My family, for example, just think it is a lovely piece of jewellry. Most people just think it is fine jewellry and think nothing more of it. Occaisionally I get people saying that they love it and making a comment about BDSM, but most people just do not realize.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Yes! And I wish EF sold them!
08/04/2010
Contributor: 00 00
Aside from our wedding bands of course, I do have a "Ring of Steel" stealth locking collar. I wish that EF did sell them.
08/04/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Sadly, even a ribbon choker necklace triggers my Vagus nerve and causes me to become faint and sweaty and nearly pass out. BUMMER!

I own and often wear "slave bracelets" made from fine jewelry material. If you haven''t seen them, they go around your wrist (in the best place, they form a "V") and have a small chain which joins to a ring on your finger, and often there is a small jewel or decoration on the top of the hand.

I get a lot of comments when I wear them, most people just think they are pretty, or I got them at a Ren Faire or something.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Not interested, especially if my SO has the key. What if I need to take it off and there's no key? plus I fear the choking aspect as even just a leather one presses on my adam's apple (tho being a girl, yes I have one that's a bit prominent) and it's real uncomfy.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Maiden Maiden
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Yes! And I wish EF sold them!
Me too! I don't have one yet, but I am eagerly awaiting the day that my man decides I should have one. I have several leather collars for play, but only one that is thin, soft, plain enough that I wear out to ANY occasion. Of course, I got it free for review from Leatherbeaten, and it somehow doesn't feel the same to me as the ones HE picked out for me and surprised me with, like the locking one he got while we were on vacation at a horror convention. I was surprised that they had a leather booth at a horror convention, so we stopped and looked. There where lots of BDSM gear and collars! I saw the one with the pretty padlock on it and my eyes lit up. Of course, daddy saw this and had me try it on. It was a bit expensive and we were on a strict budget for the vacation, so we left it there. I was delighted when he came back to the room from "getting ice" later on that evening, and told me to close my eyes and get on my knees. When I felt that leather slip around my neck, I was so excited and touched by his presenting it to me in this way, that I teared up, with is rare for me.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Red Vinyl Kitty
I love it. I have a steel locked on collar that I always wear (except for once or twice when it had to come off for xrays). I do not have the key to it, my husband does. When we got married, I was given it in lieu of a wedding ring. I was with ... more
This is what my boyfriend wants to do when we get married! I see this as so sacred and sweet, especially when a couple gets married. My boyfriend owns me and wants to buy me a locking steel collar. They're so beautiful and subtle, and almost like a shared secret. I can't wait to get collared at my wedding!
08/04/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Yes! And I wish EF sold them!
I agree.

I love the idea of collaring and putting a ring around my pet/partner/girl's neck. Sadly, no one has deserved to have me show this sign of ownership. To me, collaring is as deep as marriage or engagement. That's how serious is. So this is why I have not, so far, put such a collar on anyone.
08/04/2010
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Not interested, especially if my SO has the key. What if I need to take it off and there's no key? plus I fear the choking aspect as even just a leather one presses on my adam's apple (tho being a girl, yes I have one that's a bit ... more
Well they do make what is termed an "Oh f*ck" key for emergencies like car accidents or the worst care scenario. They generally are carried on key chains or in a wallet, I have a space wrench in my purse just in case *knocks on wood*. You can also get them a bit larger so it rests more at the base of your neck. But I understand the concerns, I had to learn how to sleep in mine because it'd freak me out if I suddenly felt pressure on my air way.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I think they're beautiful and really meaningful, but seeing as I'm not in a 24/7 D/s relationship I wouldn't be wearing one Not to mention I can't stand to have something like that around my neck for a long period of time without removing it.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Kinky Skier Kinky Skier
im confused
08/04/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
I don't like them at all.
08/05/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I can't stand anything around my neck, including most tight jewelry. I get a raging headache.
08/07/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
This is one of those things that, practically, is not for me but I admire the sentiment behind it a lot. I enjoy it more as a fantasy but literally feel a tinge of panic when I think about actually having something around my neck/my partner's neck that couldn't be removed without a key.
08/17/2010
Contributor: Valyn Valyn
Quote:
Originally posted by Red Vinyl Kitty
I love it. I have a steel locked on collar that I always wear (except for once or twice when it had to come off for xrays). I do not have the key to it, my husband does. When we got married, I was given it in lieu of a wedding ring. I was with ... more
I wasn't totally sure what I thought of them, but after your description.. it sounds cute! I've never paid a ton of attention to bdsm stuff, but this peaked my curiosity!
08/17/2010
Contributor: CanMan CanMan
love it
11/20/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Sadly, even a ribbon choker necklace triggers my Vagus nerve and causes me to become faint and sweaty and nearly pass out. BUMMER!

I own and often wear "slave bracelets" made from fine jewelry material. If you haven''t seen ... more
I have days where I just cannot have something around my neck but it isn't always. When I'm sick I absolutely cannot deal with it, whether my throat is sore or not. The other days are seemingly random.
11/20/2010
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
Quote:
Originally posted by NightNight
This is one of those things that, practically, is not for me but I admire the sentiment behind it a lot. I enjoy it more as a fantasy but literally feel a tinge of panic when I think about actually having something around my neck/my partner's ... more
They do make them with magnetic locks, so it can have that look in feel with some freedom when you need it. Not as much fun, but for some people they have to take them off for work or travel and this allows you more freedom if you don't carry the key.
11/22/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by DustBunny
Sadly a collar can't always be worn, but I love owning a locking steel collar that can be used in any situation. There's a couple sites that make them and all have the pro's and con's, but regardless of the site you like. Do you like ... more
The idea appeals to me but my guys don't agree. Still they buy me rings which are nearly the same thing so I guess it works. They have a different comfort zone when it comes to BDSM.
11/22/2010
Contributor: KnK KnK
I don't have one, but I'm intrigued by the idea. I'd like to have a male sub. Hmmmm
12/07/2010
Contributor: clp clp
I have collars but I don't want a permanent one. I think thats the switch in me talking...
01/17/2011
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
I love it and really really really want one...
01/18/2011
Contributor: vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
I like them aesthetically, they look very nice for the folks that use them. And the symbolism is pretty sweet.
01/19/2011
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Yes! And I wish EF sold them!
I totally agree!
01/26/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
I agree with NightNight. I absolutely love the ides of a locking metal collar... as an idea. But it send the same tinge of panic through me to think of one around my neck. I think if I were to have a locking collar, it would be canvas, like a dog collar. I have a skin condition from a bout of shingles that left my nerves damaged when I was only ten. But since we agree that we own each other, in an equal manner, a locking collar might throw off our balance of power. Hmmm.... Suggestions anyone...?
01/27/2011
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I agree with NightNight. I absolutely love the ides of a locking metal collar... as an idea. But it send the same tinge of panic through me to think of one around my neck. I think if I were to have a locking collar, it would be canvas, like a dog ... more
They make locking cuffs, they can also be purchased in a number of different materials. For those that can't wear a wrist cuff at all times, a locking ankle cuff is also nice. It also lends well to jokes. "What's that?" "Oh it's were he/she attaches the ball and chain. I earned a bit of free roaming time."
01/28/2011