I just brought a pair of hand cuffs into the bedroom one day Plushy gear cuffs are a non-assertive way to start. Honestly they sat there for a few days and then we talked about using them. I put them on one night and before I knew it he had taken electrical wiring and had tied me (via the d-link in my cuffs) to the bed. That is where they currently live, we don't care who sees them, but that's just us. I've got 2 more sets of cuffs in the mail and try some new things.

Most importantly you need to ease into things. Don't start everything new at the same time. Try cuffs first, then maybe a spreader bar, Rope gets frustrating if you don't know exactly what you are doing so personally I wouldn't go there right away. But break into blindfolds, I currently own 8 different ones. Collars can be fun too, but it's a matter of growing to using more things. It's starting all at once that makes people scared but if you ease into things, esp. if both parties are excited about it, you should be fine