Did anyone learn BDSM may be for them because they need an "outlet" to relax

Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Let me explain a little. Being in a very stressful position at work, always being the one in charge there, and pretty much at home to an extent. I feel the need to just let go. To just have my husband take total control of my body and soul. I want to relinquish all aspects of my mind and give in to nothing but feeling, his touch, the sensations he sets upon me. I often think about what it would be like to be bound, blind folded, and at his total mercy as he works me over with the suede tips of a beautifully fragrant flogger (no...haven't even tried this yet but I fantasize about how it would feel as it caresses my skin). I wonder if it will release, or help me to, the stresses I carry on my shoulders day in and day out (sigh).

Anyone practicing that can help in this self journey of mine??
11/25/2014
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Contributor: Infidel Infidel
Oh gosh, I have the same feeling. In person I have a really dominate personally. Coworkers joke about how much I must dominate my partner each night. And it's all jokes and funnies. And once I leaked to a coworker that I'm legitimately a sub in the bedroom, and she couldn't believe me.
It's actually a really common kink for people who play dominate social roles/personalities. I just want be roughed up and taken, nothing is more exhilarating.
09/01/2015
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
My wife isn't into being a Dom - but I've slowly gotten her take on the roll. She doesn't hit nearly hard enough for my tastes - but she's getting more aggressive. After 26 years - patience is indeed a virtue.

There's a lot of truth in the role-reversal concept. She's the principal at a school - so she wants me in charge in the bedroom. I'm happy to oblige - but after so many years, she can now switch with me.

I recently started asking myself why I enjoy it so much. I concluded that for me it's foreplay. As a young man the lack of foreplay was cited as the biggest issue preventing women from enjoying sex. My reaction was to over do it - although she' not complaining!

Having her take the Dom role lets me be recipient of the foreplay - it seems odd, but it's quite true!
09/01/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
My wife isn't into being a Dom - but I've slowly gotten her take on the roll. She doesn't hit nearly hard enough for my tastes - but she's getting more aggressive. After 26 years - patience is indeed a virtue.

There's a lot ... more
I can see why people who are always "in charge" would like to give up that feeling of Dominance from time to time. It consumes me to the point of unhappiness. I need to be able to just let it go do I can just be me.

I have a feeling, my husband probably likes a small piece of the Dominant side of me in the bedroom lol. But honestly, that just feels like "work" and fake to me. I'm totally performing for an Oscar when that's going down lol.

Women definitely love foreplay. As you said, equally as important for men as well. I know they are more easily able to jump right into the act than a woman but a good bit of a warm up is always nice.
09/03/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Infidel
Oh gosh, I have the same feeling. In person I have a really dominate personally. Coworkers joke about how much I must dominate my partner each night. And it's all jokes and funnies. And once I leaked to a coworker that I'm legitimately a sub ... more
Anything Dominant from me in the bedroom just feels like I'm at work and I want no part of it lol. It's just not me. I need to just let go at some point in my day
09/03/2015
Contributor: Geography Geography
YES! One of my old partners who knew everything about me used to tell me that I liked BDSM because usually I am very controlling. It allows me to take a break from that. And get in trouble if I try to get that control back.
12/06/2017
Contributor: Lena Eden Lena Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by Geography
YES! One of my old partners who knew everything about me used to tell me that I liked BDSM because usually I am very controlling. It allows me to take a break from that. And get in trouble if I try to get that control back.
Do you have any favorite BDSM toys?
12/12/2017