I'm really curious to find out from those on EF who are BDSM fetishists, do you have a local dungeon where you live? I realize how lucky I am to be so close to San Francisco and be able to visit the Citadel, and I'm really going to miss it when I move to the east coast/midwest for grad school. Do you all have spaces where you can play, or is it mostly at home? less

There are no dungeons near me that I know of.

Also, slightly off topic, but anyone who frequents such places...what are your/their feelings on 'tourists', so to speak. I am interested in BDSM, and the boyfriend and I are slowly getting into it a little more, but I have always been intrigued by the dungeon concept...and always wanted to go check one out...but I have always been a bit freaked out because I am definitely not a 'lifestyle' person. less

One *just* opened up here in Iowa. It's the only one I know about for all of Iowa. It's just a dungeon out of a guy's house too, so it's not official or anything. Most people go over to Sinsations in Chicago (a four hour drive) if they want to go to a real dungeon. It's so sad. less

I'm really curious to find out from those on EF who are BDSM fetishists, do you have a local dungeon where you live? I realize how lucky I am to be so close to San Francisco and be able to visit the Citadel, and I'm really going to miss it when I move to the east coast/midwest for grad school. Do you all have spaces where you can play, or is it mostly at home? less

As long as you walk the walk, nobody will care. As in, don't show up in bright white clothing brandishing a camera. Show up in proper fetish attire or just dark/black clothing. You don't want to bother the "fantasy" that everyone is in.

Don't bother anyone while they're sceneing, and don't talk near another person's scene. Almost all dungeons have social areas. Most people are really friendly to newbies and don't mind you coming at all. Be prepared for naked, or semi-naked, bodies all over and lots of kinky things. Also be prepared to be open minded; somthing you may see may seem too extreme for you, but others may love it. Also, check into your local group and see what their dungeon rules are. Some will require you to have attended a non-sexual meeting first like a little discussion group just to make sure you aren't an axe murderer.

If you message me with your state, I can give you a list of your local dungeons/kink groups, and they can get you hooked up with the dungeons. Most aren't publicized to avoid getting raided/shut down/unwanted guests.

As for minding newbies being there, nah. I don't care. I might make a remark of "I have no idea who that is", but it's normally for new people to be there. No one expects you to participate, and half of the "excitement" of a dungeon is knowing that someone else is watching, so nobody will probably mind you. less