Can anyone tell me how to slowly bring paddling into our love scene? Because I'm terrified of paddles, last time anyone came at me with a paddle, it was a punishment paddle, leather on one side and fur on the other, large and round. It wasn't meant as anything but a joke, and it never once touched me (not meant in any way for me, not mine or my partner), but I freaked out and screamed, then burst into tears. I was terrified of that thing touching me.

But, I want to bring something new, something more dangerous and interesting in to our relationship. So, can anyone tell me how to bring it into our bedroom in a way that won't traumatize me any further then it already has?

Oh, and no, we don't have a M/S relationship. We are equals, and this isn't meant to be anything but a pleasure factor- No form of punishment is meant to happen, but some pain is meant to be involved for pleasure. Like I would want to be able to use it on him, and just beat his butt until he came, but I'd also like to be able to tolerate it, and not freak out.