My partner and I are not the most experienced in the kink world, and we are still very much discovering our tolerances. Ze has had a nerve disorder from birth that makes zem feel pain much more acutely. It is not to the extent where a simple spank to the rear stops our play, but it gets frustrating sometimes when having to stop a scene much earlier than we both anticipated. Simultaneously, I have nerve damage that raises my tolerance significantly. In the past, I have had partners that would just piss me off because they were too afraid to remotely test my limits for fear of harming me. They also didn't believe me when I stated that I could handle more. We switch roles. Ze's pain intolerance has translated, sometimes, into not being able to be as rough with me with one of my favorite kinks, spanking, because Ze's hands would hurt. I am somtimes unable to relate to how much power I am putting forth. I am just asking for a little guidance in this situation.