The New Intimacy

Play partner checklist

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: underHim underHim
I just finished filling this out for Master. Desite the fact that we have been together for years you can always learn something new about someone. I was just curious if anyone else has ever done it.
link
04/04/2012
  • Treat Her! Gift Set For Women For $69.99 Only
  • Complete lovers gift set
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Long-distance pleasure set for couples
  • Save Extra 20% On Love Cushion And Toy Set!
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: dks210 dks210
That's really useful! I'm going to fill this out with my partner. Thanks!
04/04/2012
Contributor: underHim underHim
Quote:
Originally posted by dks210
That's really useful! I'm going to fill this out with my partner. Thanks!
I like it too. It is so thorough!
04/04/2012
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Here's another less BDSM oriented safe sex play checklist that I ran across a while back.

I've personally never filled anything out like this for my partner, but I do think it could be a really good exercise both in terms of communication and being able to describe for yourself the things that you really like/don't like.

I think it could really be useful to any couple (to at least some degree) though there's obviously a little more direct call for it in the world of BDSM.
04/04/2012
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Honestly, I think those lists are a little ridiculous. If you have kinks you want to explore with a partner, why not just flat out talk to them about it, rather than making them fill out a form and hoping that your fetish is one they totally want to try?

Also, fetishes and limits constantly change from person to person. Things that may be a hard limit 6 months ago could be something you are interested in now. That's why constant communication and renegotiation are a crucial part of any relationship, D/s or otherwise.
04/05/2012
Contributor: SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
Honestly, I think those lists are a little ridiculous. If you have kinks you want to explore with a partner, why not just flat out talk to them about it, rather than making them fill out a form and hoping that your fetish is one they totally want to ... more
I see your point. I think communication is a HUGE part of sex, and especially BDSM. Things can be dangerous if you don't communicate. I wouldn't fill this out, I would speak to my partner. I have a very open and honest policy. I don't enjoy sex with someone who can't communicate about it.
04/05/2012
Contributor: underHim underHim
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
I see your point. I think communication is a HUGE part of sex, and especially BDSM. Things can be dangerous if you don't communicate. I wouldn't fill this out, I would speak to my partner. I have a very open and honest policy. I don't ... more
We communicate alot, and talked about everything on it after I filled it out. I do not want people getting the impression that we use something like this instead of talking. I find it to be a good supplement to talking. To give specific things to talk about when we are not in the moment. There are many things on lists like these that I had not ever even considered much less thought to discuss with him, so it really does help. Also for people like me who are a little shy about starting really frank conversations about things of that nature, it is nice to be able to hand him something like this that outlines everything, and then he can start the conversation. It is not mean to replace anything, but it is meant to help foster more communication. I have no problem talking with him about things like this, but I can have a little trouble figuring out where to start so this really helped alot.
04/05/2012
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Those checklists are often suggested to people who are new to BDSM. While some people find it easy to communicate about anal fisting or medical play, for some, those kinds of fetishes have never even entered into their minds. A checklist is a good way to introduce fetishes to those new to the lifestyle. It also gets them thinking about what they might be interested in, their hard limits, and exactly how far they would be willing to go for their partner.
Of course people grow out of their checklists. They can decide to update them as they do, or negotiate verbally as they become more advanced and aware. Regardless, a checklist gives someone new a point at which to start.
04/09/2012
Contributor: hall5885 hall5885
Quote:
Originally posted by underHim
I just finished filling this out for Master. Desite the fact that we have been together for years you can always learn something new about someone. I was just curious if anyone else has ever done it.
link
I'm open and honest with my partner in crime. And I personally wouldn't use it as a set in stone kinda thing (peoples taste change all the time). I would use it more as things we didn't think about. Like for example for me I never thought about head shaving at all for BDSM play until I saw it on the list there. I have heard others doing it but never thought about it for myself or even thought to tell my partner that I have no interest what so ever in it. In fact if anyone got near my hair or theirs with scissors/trimmers they would quickly see how mad I can be. For people testing the waters I can see this being helpful for them to get started as long as they realize that things change in time and need to be able to be open and honest with each other as time goes on.
04/16/2012
Contributor: BeepBop BeepBop
I could actually see this as being very helpful in starting a conversation. She's very experienced, and I'm not, so I'm never quite sure what to tell her NOT to do, simply because I haven't thought about it (ex. don't punch me in the stomach, lol. Slapping=/= punching).

Thanks for the link!
04/22/2012
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I think this could be very handy.
04/22/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Nice, I'll have to consider trying that out.
04/23/2012
Contributor: USJT130119200518 USJT130119200518
Quote:
Originally posted by underHim
I just finished filling this out for Master. Desite the fact that we have been together for years you can always learn something new about someone. I was just curious if anyone else has ever done it.
link
I had my wife fill out two, one for pleasure and one for punishment. I also filled one out for things I want to do to her. It makes for a very good comparison.
05/01/2012