The New Intimacy

Topping from the bottom

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Contributor: Aesenthia Aesenthia
My boyfriend and I try to keep the lines of communication open so that he is always aware of what I need and I am aware of what he needs. Often times I feel like I am being too demanding as a Sub. I tell him "I'd really like you to use your fingers on me" or "you need to tie me up more often."

He's new to the whole Dom/sub dynamic so I want to tell him the things I want/need, but I don't want to be 'topping from the bottom'. Is there a good balance between the two?
10/07/2014
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Contributor: titth titth
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
My boyfriend and I try to keep the lines of communication open so that he is always aware of what I need and I am aware of what he needs. Often times I feel like I am being too demanding as a Sub. I tell him "I'd really like you to use your ... more
The fact you communicating to him is a good thing, if you discuss during negotiation then you both can get what you want with out him feeling he's toping from the bottom.
02/10/2015
Contributor: Salesstar987 Salesstar987
I've topped from the bottom before. It was quite an experience.
08/08/2016
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I can sympathize - a reluctant D seems to need encouragement. My wife is always worried about hurting me - so when she amps up the strength of her paddle or crop, I'm sure to make plenty of noise about how much I like it.

As with our whole relationship - I have to guide her - but also have to respect her limits. I know that over time I can expand those limits - the good news is that gets easier because she realizes that it's her orgasms that matter most. Nothing like multiple orgasms to motivate a reluctant woman!
08/11/2016
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
As long as you're respectful and not trying to control the situation, he isn't likely to feel like you're trying to top from the bottom. Open communication is always a good thing.
03/24/2017