I have never assumed that because a person calls themselves a submissive that I have the right to just begin ordering them around. I have, at events, insisted on them using proper title and respect but only after they have received instruction from their Dom(mme) otherwise I tend to ignore them as is proper in our circles. I have admired a slave to their Master/Mistress and received permission to "test" them but it's all very ritualized in the circles where I travel. We are VERY heavy into respect and trust so slaves are very much protected from abuse...like one would any loving pet! I would no more allow someone to menace or control my shih-zu than I would my slave, to our circle that shows weakness in the dominant. Now we have traded power without the slave's knowledge to fulfill a fantasy or refocus the attention of the slave but this is very controlled...we have a series of phrases that can trigger the scene and we change them often.