Trust

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sugarOne

For bdsm or the M/s lifestyle shouldnt you have a lot of trust with someone who is doing things to you?

When you go to the bdsm gatherings or parties do you just let anyone spank you? Or do you know the person who is doing things to you?

I never went to a bdsm event but I know that as a slave to my Master I wouldnt let noone else touch me unless he wanted someone to. For me there has to be a lot of trust gained in order to have someone use anything on.

I think its funny how others just think they could pick up a whip and slash away to someone who is submissive, they call themselves a Master/dom/ , but really for me thats called someone not knowing what they are doing and will end up getting someone hurt.

08/28/2010

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Airen Wolf

(EF Review Program Mentor)

Quote:

Originally posted by sugarOne

I have never assumed that because a person calls themselves a submissive that I have the right to just begin ordering them around. I have, at events, insisted on them using proper title and respect but only after they have received instruction from their Dom(mme) otherwise I tend to ignore them as is proper in our circles. I have admired a slave to their Master/Mistress and received permission to "test" them but it's all very ritualized in the circles where I travel. We are VERY heavy into respect and trust so slaves are very much protected from abuse...like one would any loving pet! I would no more allow someone to menace or control my shih-zu than I would my slave, to our circle that shows weakness in the dominant. Now we have traded power without the slave's knowledge to fulfill a fantasy or refocus the attention of the slave but this is very controlled...we have a series of phrases that can trigger the scene and we change them often.

08/28/2010

P'Gell

Really, the only person I'm Sub to is My Man. (And I aggravate the hell out of him a good portion of the time. ) I'm actually a pretty assertive and often aggressive person. I NEED the leveling that our relationship provides.

If someone else "spanked" me even in fun, I think he'd take them out back. He'd never let an other person touch me. My Man is one of the few people in this world I trust nearly 100%.

We've talked about a quad pairing, but my guess is our D/S roles would not extend to the quad. Things like this can get quite complicated.

A friend of mine and Her Man have a very similar relationship to mine with My Man, and the men never touch the other's woman under any pretense. Unless it's a friendly hug Hello or Goodbye.

That's what works for us. Your mileage may vary.

08/28/2010

I am a submissive/bottom to my husband only. I do not have the natural inclination to be submissive to just anyone and especially to just any man. Ours is a lifelong relationship that began over 4 decades ago and we've been married for 29 years. It has taken time to build to the level of trust and understand that we now have. We are totally 100 percent trusting of each other. But that does not mean either of us trust anyone else that much. Play parties? It truly depends on what mood we are both in, who the other people are and what is going on around us. I like spankings. Depending on who was asking for permission, he'd let someone else bend me OTK, but only if it was someone I was comfortable with and wanted to interact with and even then he would be right there to intervene if he felt the need to. We are for the most part, totally into each other and each others best friend and closest playmate. Rarely do we EVER feel any need for anyone else in our play.

08/28/2010

sugarOne

Thank you all for your responses. For me my Master has the right to say someone can spank me , although this is where my trust goes to him 100 percent. He would never ask someone that he didnt know or wouldnt trust with his slave. I wouldnt allow anyone just to spank me , only my Master, unless he permits otherwise. ..

08/29/2010

Total posts: 5 Unique posters: 4

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