Vanilla partners who object to kink...

Had a boyfriend who refused to even start with handcuffs. That didn't last...

I agree.

It depends on your definition verses theirs of "kink". If you both have the same basic interests in bed, then it's not "kink". If one of you enjoys something a lot and the other simply doesn't, that's a tough call. For me, it would weigh heavily on the formation of a long and deep relationship, since I am a very physical person. Part of my successful long marriage is that we share values, and morals both in and out of bed, and we both love to play hard, the same way, in those activities we enjoy. I am not sure being frustrated with a partner who didn't share my sense of fun, in or out of the bedroom, would make for a satisfying, lifetime of happiness.

At what point in your life did you realize that it was something that you needed, if I may ask? I'm only asking for my own personal growth journey. I'm recently discovering that there is a lot out there that I wish, maybe, my husband and I were brazen enough to have or at least try. I wish he could crawl into my mind and see the kinky & Dominant role I wish he would conjure for me. At least to sample and see if it's what I think my body has been needing. In a sense, I feel like it would answer a lot about me personally. If that makes any sense

Not a deal breaker, but definitely something I'd try to compromise on. A lot of soft kink is exciting enough but not edgy enough to make vanilla partners uncomfortable.

As someone else said, generally I try to find a compromise where I feel good but they don't feel uncomfortable. What has happened in the past is generally I might ask a partner to do something and they will be hesitant but when they actually try it in the heat of the moment they feel differently. Things evolve with partners. If they completely objected I might not be able to do without.