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advice on first strap-on

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Contributor: SexyKitteh SexyKitteh
I've always wanted to try using a strap-on. My boyfriend is so-so about it, but I think if I bought one he would go for it - he doesn't think it's that big a fantasy of mine.

However, it seems there are so many to choose from! I am rather petite so adjustable will be key. I think I want one that sits low on the hips and it would be nice if it can be cleaned (but I would still consider leather). However, I want one that allows for the wearer to also receive stimulation from a vibrator/dildo. Bonus, if there is one that could also be used for double penetration, maybe I could introduce it for that purpose initially.

Also any vibrating anal plugs that can be placed and not get in the way during vaginal intercourse? It seems most have a bullet that is removable, but that extends and would not be flush.

Thanks!
02/03/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Forum highlights on Strap on dildo:

Strap-onless strap-ons
I love when my girlfriend ties me down and dominates me but we haven't given much thought to strap-ons. Are the strapless ones as good as the...

Getting my wife more comfortable being a Dom?
Looking for ways so my wife can be more dom. We do peg from time to time, but I would prefer some more bondage and being more submissive including...

Harness color preferences?
Most harnesses are black, but lately I've been noticing more red/pink/white and even purple...what's your color preference? I tend to like pink and..

Is it a work out?
Do you consider having a strap on a work out? Would you rather be the one wearing the strap on or the one riding the strap on?

Strap Ons
I want to start a discussion about strap ons.

My partner and I are very into gender play, and were looking for a new strap on harness/dildo set to.
02/03/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyKitteh
I've always wanted to try using a strap-on. My boyfriend is so-so about it, but I think if I bought one he would go for it - he doesn't think it's that big a fantasy of mine.

However, it seems there are so many to choose from! I ... more
One big question: what dildo are you interested in? If you are interested in a double (Nexus, Feeldoe, Share, Sysil) then that can be a different type of harness, such as the less expensive Bare As You Dare or Sportsheets Latigo Leather. If you're interested in using two individual dildos then that's a more expensive harness, such as the Aslan Jaguar or Outlaw Leather models. You could also use a more "ordinary" harness and the Aslan Double-Up Cuff.

For recommendations in three price brackets:

Cheaper: Sportsheets Latigo Leather

Midrange: Aslan Commando or one of the other Aslan models

Expensive: Aslan Jaguar or SpareParts harness.

Do use a nice silicone dildo with over 5.5" insertable.

The Vixen Tristan 1.5 plug has a bullet that is recessed during use.
02/03/2011
Contributor: SexyKitteh SexyKitteh
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
One big question: what dildo are you interested in? If you are interested in a double (Nexus, Feeldoe, Share, Sysil) then that can be a different type of harness, such as the less expensive Bare As You Dare or Sportsheets Latigo Leather. If ... more
Thanks for the advice. I know that if I go "cheap" it may not turn out so good and wouldn't that to be a reason to give up so perhaps the moderate or slightly pricier would be the way to go.

I think maybe modular would be a good way to go because at least the parts can still individually be useful. It seems from what I've seen online that the kits aren't the greatest. Any advice for girth for the dildo to use on him? Or should I get one that is more directed at the prostate? I know he enjoys rimming so I think he may really like this . . .

As for the doubles, there are some that supposedly don't require a harness, but I am worried that I wouldn't have as much control and may be awkward.

Also with the harnesses, there are the single strap - I suppose that's necessary if I want to have a second dildo for myself, but I also like the idea of the double-strap to give him access for insertion. Are there some that are convertible?

Also any thoughts on the Tantus B-bomb? The one that you recommended doesn't seem to be in-stock, but looks nice.
02/04/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
All the Tantus toys I've had with vibes have left a good portion of the vibe sticking out where it can be bumped off and on.

For a dildo: look at them together. Play around a bit with fingers to see how big of a toy he's comfortable with, and then use that to narrow down your sizes. I'd say try to get him up to around 1.25" diameter or bigger, as smaller dildos tend to be a bit too floppy. 1.5" diameter is a nice size if he can take it. I really like curved dildos both because of the prostate stimulation and because they seem to go in easier, and having some sort of a head on the dildo both increases stimulation for him and provides you with a visual cue of when you're almost all the way out so you can get a feel for the thrusting. Don't limit yourself to the way a penis works, either - try twisting the dildo so the curve goes towards his prostate (in some positions, such as doggie, this will mean the curve goes down). A beefy base helps to hold it securely in the harness.

Nice dildos: the Tantus Silk medium and large, Vixen Smooth Operator, Tantus Curve. I really, really like my Astro, but that's a bit big for a first dildo. Some of the Sedux dildos look like they might work well, too.

More expensive harnesses can be used with two dildos (Aslan Jaguar and the Outlaw Leather models are the most famous), or you can get the Aslan Double Up Cuff (for some reason not stocked by EF). This ties two dildos together so you can have one end for you and will work in almost any harness.
02/04/2011
Contributor: Buzz Man Buzz Man
My wife and I recently started pegging and we really like this option, it has worked well and it didn't break the bank.
07/19/2011
Contributor: MikeyD MikeyD
If your looking for a decent inexpensive starter,

Gina Lynn's starter kit works well. The dong itself is a firm 7", nice pink colour. The harness itself is fairly secure, and is cushioned well. There is also a pocket for a bullet. It usually runs 20-30$.
07/20/2011
Contributor: SexyKitteh SexyKitteh
Well things with that boyfriend are over (surprising after many years together) so I never did get around to making my purchase.

Anyway, I have a new partner and we've discussed using a strap-on and he's willing to try anything once . . . I think he's a little nervous and wants "the smallest" possible dildo, but I'm thinking that will end up being disappointing.

I sent him some harnesses to check out little while ago, but he had no comment. It seems I'm more interested in the nicer/high-end ones. I am concerned about keeping the harness clean so I'm leaning away from the ones that are ranked as 2's, but not so sure which will provide me with some level of simultaneous simulation. I did look at the Aslan Double Up Cuff and that's an interesting accessory that seems like it can be used with most double-strap harnesses, which is the style I've decided I'm going to go for. I'll post the link to the ones I was comparing - I'd appreciate more thoughts on them and which dildos would specifically pair well with them.

link

Thanks again!
09/18/2011
Contributor: oldkinky oldkinky
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyKitteh
I've always wanted to try using a strap-on. My boyfriend is so-so about it, but I think if I bought one he would go for it - he doesn't think it's that big a fantasy of mine.

However, it seems there are so many to choose from! I ... more
We use a Buzz Me Tender harness. It has two small dildos for stimulating her clitoris while she fucks me. Another harness with a vibrator is the harness that comes with the Bend Over Beginner Kit, but it is not as nice as the Buzz Me Tender harness. It is important to have a vibrator in the harness.

As far as dildo are concerned we like only silicone dildos preferably with a vibrator. The maximum diameter that is comfortable for me is 1 1/4 inch or slightly larger. The length is not important. 7 inches is fine for me.

Here are our favorites:

Vixen Creations Vibrating Mistress

Tantus Vibrating Leisure (7 inches)

Tantus Pro Touch(great for prostate, but rather short)

Non vibrating:

Tantus Silk small and medium.

Tantus Acute.

Double penetration(gal and guy at the same time)

Vixen Creations-Nexus Jr.

Our favorite position is with me on my back. She gets between my legs and inserts the dildo. In this position she can easily reach my lubed dick for a handjob while she fucks me. Fantastic!!! My wife gets so hot watching it go in and out of me. We don't like the limited access from doggy.


You and your boyfriend will love it. We do it about once a week and have been doing it for years.
09/18/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Before pulling out the harness and strapping up I'd recommend doing some hand-held play to get your boyfriend used to anal play and reassure himself that he can take a dildo of a decent size (1.25-1.5" diameter and 5.5-7" long). What you use for this is up to you - I'd say fingers to start, and then you can move to a dildo or plug of your choice. Once he's comfortable with the sensations and procedure then get the dildo and harness out.
09/19/2011
Contributor: SexyKitteh SexyKitteh
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Before pulling out the harness and strapping up I'd recommend doing some hand-held play to get your boyfriend used to anal play and reassure himself that he can take a dildo of a decent size (1.25-1.5" diameter and 5.5-7" long). What ... more
Schedules and planets seem like they will finally align next month, lol. Thus, I didn't purchase yet. I have one more question - everyone has been rather concerned about fit for larger women/hips, what about the opposite issue - more petite women? Is there a harness that is better for tiny gal of the ones I was interested in before? My true waist (at level of navel is ~29.5 inches); I'm typically a size 0 or 2 in most clothing.
01/27/2012