Strapping on = BDSM?

Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
I'm kinda curious how this forum ended up in the BDSM category. I always considered strap-on sex to be not inherently kinky or vanilla, depending on how you do it. Couldn't there be a "Harness" category under the toy section?
02/16/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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02/16/2012
Contributor: joja joja
I agree with this. Though some people use pegging as a kind of domination play, it isn't always like that.
02/16/2012
Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
I agree with this. Though some people use pegging as a kind of domination play, it isn't always like that.
Not to mention that there are plenty of queer women out there having totally vanilla missionary strap-on sex.
02/16/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
This has come up a number of times, and EF has neither changed the location of the forum nor have they explained why they leave it here. It seems that there would be a business case for emphasizing that strap-on play doesn't need to be BDSM, since more people might be willing to follow through on their interest.
02/17/2012
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
I'm kinda curious how this forum ended up in the BDSM category. I always considered strap-on sex to be not inherently kinky or vanilla, depending on how you do it. Couldn't there be a "Harness" category under the toy section?
I agree, this forum is definitely misplaced.
02/17/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
Agreed. I've had strap on sex and BDSM experience and rarely have they intersected. Even with a partner who I had both a BDSM aspect of a relationship with and strap on sex, the two didn't ever really have anything to do with the other. Quite the opposite. Normally if we had strap on sex, it was more about sex and/or making love. BDSM was about dominance, control, pain, submission, trust, pushing limits, etc. They were very different. I'm sure harness play could be part of bdsm for some couples but so could vibrators or dildos or anal toys.
02/19/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Agreed. Pegging for us is not a BDSM activity. While we do engage in BDSM it is separate from pegging. In fact, in BDSM play I am submissive (which wouldn't work too well when pegging and thus doesn't come in during our strap on sex). I understand that it can be BDSM for some but from the majority of comments I've seen on Eden that's not usually the case.
02/19/2012
Contributor: smashthepatriarchy smashthepatriarchy
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
I'm kinda curious how this forum ended up in the BDSM category. I always considered strap-on sex to be not inherently kinky or vanilla, depending on how you do it. Couldn't there be a "Harness" category under the toy section?
I thought strap on was vanilla, but talking to some of my friends I got a very strong vibe that it IS kinky.

Guess it is just who you ask?
02/19/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by smashthepatriarchy
I thought strap on was vanilla, but talking to some of my friends I got a very strong vibe that it IS kinky.

Guess it is just who you ask?
Kinky does not always equal BDSM.
02/19/2012
Contributor: xGOLDx xGOLDx
I think for people new to really any sort of toy play it can be kinky, but I don't really count strap ons inherently as bdsm. Sometimes I've used them as a tool in a sub/dom relationship, but it's also been just a part of good ol vanilla sex for me too.
02/19/2012
Contributor: PirateofPenance PirateofPenance
It seems odd to me too. It doesn't have to be kinky (unless you want it to be...).
02/27/2012
Contributor: LoneOokami LoneOokami
Yeah straps arent inherently kinky
03/15/2013
Contributor: monty6868 monty6868
I guess for me it was a BDSM experience since I told my wife that I didn't think I would enjoy it so I didn't want to try. So she broke out our restraints and blindfold and didn't give me the choice to say no. LOL. But I will admit that I'm so glad she did because I really enjoyed it and she has done it several times since.
03/19/2013