EdenKink - Types of BDSM Relationships - Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 @ 8pm ET

I'm actually sipping on some of the cranberry that came free with my last order now.

It's really tasty the first two steepings, but it sort of dies out after that. With the unflavored teas I usually drink like 8 cups from the same leaves, so I was like "Oh! This is so uneconomical!" but then I remembered I got it for free, so it's not really uneconomical at all.

The only flavored one I have really fallen for is the "Cream", which is a cream-flavored ceylon black tea. It has all of the positive qualities of pipe tobacco and none of the negative qualities. It tastes really rich. less

Not fun at all! I'm keeping water and apparently toast and bananas down though so hopefully with a good night's sleep I'll be back to snuff in the morning.

On topic: play partners are more casual. I wouldn't say less extreme, but they're casual about it. No requirements of ownership, you're just playing to meet a certain need, scratch that itch, find out what you love and what you hate. I really think everyone should first be play partners with someone before getting into the more extreme (and I use extreme to mean more permanent) end of the kink scale.

The reason why is this gives you an excuse to try on the coat for size. You might know you're masochistic, sadistic, submissive... but until you get tied up, tie someone up, learn to use a whip, WHATEVER... how else are you going to really find out what makes what you know about yourself tick? You might know you're interested in bondage. A play partner gives you a chance to try bondage without the insinuation of a permanently kinky relationship.

Of course you can be play partners with someone you're in a relationship with, I think. It's the implication of just casually trying on kink for size that eases into that spectrum.

People open to multiple partners can also get play partners to scratch itches their primary partner can't scratch, as it were. So I really think the play partner archetype is important to the kink spectrum, though it's also important to realize that it doesn't necessarily require polyamory because if you're in a relationship with someone who'll casually play kinky games and experiment all across the board, I think you fit right into that description. For me to be someone's play partner, that means just that... we're playing, it's not srs business, not yet. less

I have to echo this post, definitely. In a BDSM 'casual'/play relationship it could just be only about the kink and no sex at all. Hey, sometimes you just need to tie someone up. No sex, no orgasm. Just that kinky need. Call it art? It's like sometimes I need to write! WITH someone. less

So, in a technical sense, BDSM is seperate from sex? And more of a way to describe a relationship, and not a type of sex? I guess in my own head, BDSM always had some kind of sexual connotation, or there was some sort of sexual gratification from it one way or another. Is this wrong? less

I agree with this. A lot of the time, BDSM isn't a sexual thing and people enjoy the mental stimulation from it more than any sexual stimulation. Sure, sometimes the two go hand in hand, but it's not always like that.

My play partner just like it when I whack on him with my canes and paddles and such, but that's it. I enjoy having the control to beat someone up. We've been sexual a few times, but I didn't really enjoy it, so it doesn't become a part of our play anymore. less

I agree with this. A lot of the time, BDSM isn't a sexual thing and people enjoy the mental stimulation from it more than any sexual stimulation. Sure, sometimes the two go hand in hand, but it's not always like that.

My play partner just like it when I whack on him with my canes and paddles and such, but that's it. I enjoy having the control to beat someone up. We've been sexual a few times, but I didn't really enjoy it, so it doesn't become a part of our play anymore. less

HI GUYS! How are you all?! I've missed you! Have you missed me? We really should occasionally poke around in our little forum space from time to time between meetings. I'll try to keep up more often if you will!

Here we are at another EdenKink meeting! This month's discussion, by popular demand, is types of BDSM relationships.

(By the way, be thinking about some topics you'd like to see in the poll for our next discussion topic. I'll ask for them later on when the meeting comes to a close.)

BDSM relationships cover a wide range of interactions from the service top or bottom to the most extreme owner/property dynamic. Each is unique in its own way from type to type, couple to couple. And what works for some doesn't work for all. But what's the difference.

Why don't we start with what tends to be the least extreme (but can also be the most, depending on the people) of the bunch: Play partners. What do you think of when you hear this phrase? What does it mean, for you, to be someone's play partner? less