#EdenLit - Club Meeting - May 14, 2012 @7pm EST

Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Lickable Lollie
Man, had I gone into complete detail of everything leading up to that point, it would have been a book... *ponders*
Exactly. Short stories are often the pages that launched a thousand more.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
It was my pleasure. But, I think this is her first "big-girl" step and she's a little scared and so she was looking at the wrong signals, when all of a sudden it clicked. She's gotta couple more things to experience that are gonna ... more
Lol, I definitely have a lot more to learn, but in the past few months, I think I've gotten pretty far. For those of you who are wondering, I am still with him, but we've only been together about 5 months.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Ok so onward! "Material" Another fine example of third person perspective. This is more the traditional third person though it could have contained even more about the focal characters problems with theft. Was this just a one time occurence? There seemed to be some doubt but I did feel like this was a deeply felt piece that showed she really was contrite, though confused. Is the character a kleptomaniac or does she view herself as a screw up?
05/14/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Lickable Lollie
Lol, I definitely have a lot more to learn, but in the past few months, I think I've gotten pretty far. For those of you who are wondering, I am still with him, but we've only been together about 5 months.
No rush. You'll get there when you get there. Just enjoy the ride. And jot that shit down fresh from memory every once in awhile, it'll save you when you're my age and scrambling to remember it all.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Lickable Lollie
Lol, I definitely have a lot more to learn, but in the past few months, I think I've gotten pretty far. For those of you who are wondering, I am still with him, but we've only been together about 5 months.
Awww you still babies You got a damn fine start I'd say!
05/14/2012
Contributor: ScarletFox ScarletFox
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ok so onward! "Material" Another fine example of third person perspective. This is more the traditional third person though it could have contained even more about the focal characters problems with theft. Was this just a one time ... more
I wrote this from personal experience actually, so its more coming from the viewing ones self as a screw up. It was a one time thing that happened in my past. I couldn't find a job for months it seemed it was a momentary lapse of better judgement that brought it on after a whirlwind of things happening that brought me there.
05/14/2012
Contributor: DeliciousB DeliciousB
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ok so onward! "Material" Another fine example of third person perspective. This is more the traditional third person though it could have contained even more about the focal characters problems with theft. Was this just a one time ... more
I think she was just searching but confused by the circumstances.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by ScarletFox
I wrote this from personal experience actually, so its more coming from the viewing ones self as a screw up. It was a one time thing that happened in my past. I couldn't find a job for months it seemed it was a momentary lapse of better judgement ... more
Well then! What a painful lesson to share with us. You handled it very well and it was hard trying to keep it in third person because you were remembering it in first person. I think that's where the mix up occurred. It comes from an author who knows what is going on so well it is hard to know what a reader needs to know. This is the main reason most mainstream writers have a writing circle to bounce ideas off of before it goes to press!
Perhaps after we discuss the way it is possible to turn from third person to first person for a time it'll be easier to understand what I mean?
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousB
I think she was just searching but confused by the circumstances.
Good observation and pertinent as well, the situation was confusing when it was experienced and the author did get that point across very well. So critiques aside it was very well done. Describing an emotional whirlwind is very tricky and I applaud the author that takes it on!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I have no idea if the second story posted on your page is meant to be another entry for us to discuss. I don't see the author here tonight, though...
05/14/2012
Contributor: Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I have no idea if the second story posted on your page is meant to be another entry for us to discuss. I don't see the author here tonight, though...
That confused me at first, too.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
So did everyone leave Material feeling like our main character had learned her lesson? What lesson do you think she learned most of all?
05/14/2012
Contributor: ScarletFox ScarletFox
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Well then! What a painful lesson to share with us. You handled it very well and it was hard trying to keep it in third person because you were remembering it in first person. I think that's where the mix up occurred. It comes from an author who ... more
Certainly I think it will.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Lickable Lollie
I did some editing from what really happened just because it wasn't all that interesting in real life, but the general idea is the same.
None of my stories were nearly as boring as what happens in real life. And it was a good first story and we do tend to get more inspiration ehen we are writing from events that we were involved in (or would like to be incolved in!). I got hat she did have new hope for the relationship, and that the urges ebb and flow just like everything else but the sentiment is still their. I think part of why we all liked it is because we have all lived through something similar.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
So did everyone leave Material feeling like our main character had learned her lesson? What lesson do you think she learned most of all?
I think she learned her lesson. She seemed to feel really guilty about what she had done.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
So did everyone leave Material feeling like our main character had learned her lesson? What lesson do you think she learned most of all?
I felt like she learned that love isn't in the things you give your partner it's in the things you don't! she touches on that understanding when she realizes that she has caused him such grief, and his 'lesson' really drives that home. I left hoping that she wouldn't risk an arrest record for the 'punishment' time though....
05/14/2012
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
To answer some questions I have been asked about the upcoming mini lesson:
We will be looking at how each of the three perspectives can be combined in a single piece of writing. Now this is a tricky thing to do because nothing confuses a reader ... more
Btw, this is my [third | italic] time trying to post this. First the power flickered long enough to knock out the router twice in a row then I went and apparently hit the hot key on my keyboard to turn the wireless network adapter on and off. And, of course, that took me 10 mins - d'oh! Ironically, I was actually here on time, a few mins before 7est even, but alas, no matter what I do, it seems fate is going to continue to make me perpetually tardy. That could be good though, right? Detention? The principal's office? Some rulers and some otk spanking - ain't gonna complain about that. Anyway...

(and excuse how far behind I am top-wise, ty)!

I just so happen to be The Mistress of All Things Haiku (and senryu - sp? - sometimes, too, though not on purpose). I made myself write a minimum of 20 each morning for MONTHS & MONTHS on end. It was my way of doing that get yourself going writing thing - like how some people free-write for a specified amount of time to start their writing day. I even have a link to some of the best (imho), if anyone's interested. I need to post them to my real blog! They're still only on my myspace blog, of all things. Anyway, suffice it to say, I've got several hundred if not 1000 or more tossing around various hard drives and boxes and whatnot.

As for combining all three perspectives/points of view in ONE piece - well, now, that's quite the challenge. Makes haiku look like a walk in the park. I'm thinking it'd work easiest as separate (perhaps even stand-alone but intertwined) chapters or stories in a relatively short book. That, or writing a poem with the point of view changing with each stanza change.

I thought the jobs yall did w/ 3rd person were great. That's a struggle of mine. For some ungodly (obvs self-consciously self-punishing) reason, I start off writing a LOT of fiction in 2nd person, of all voices, though, generally speaking, Im best in 1st.

I'd love to sometime explore some of the poetic movements and devices more thoroughly and I'd love, love, love to do anything regarding stream-of-consciousnes s.

Also...
HEY LADIES!!! Sorry I'm so behind. I swear, I'm in such a daze that I sat at the comp, tab open and everything, for 15 minutes, at least, while I zoned out on the screen and tried to remember what it was I was supposed to be doing.

*written after the part above, if that makes sense: and then, all hell broke loose.* (lol)

Hope y'all are all doing well! Muah!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
None of my stories were nearly as boring as what happens in real life. And it was a good first story and we do tend to get more inspiration ehen we are writing from events that we were involved in (or would like to be incolved in!). I got hat she ... more
~Agreed!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
There has never been a limit on the number of words any piece for Eden Lit. All we ask is that the work be a complete one. If you would like a critique on an incomplete work you may submit it with a disclaimer but I won't guarantee that we will ... more
We should start a thread for ppl looking to read/edit/critique and those looking for them.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Kake aka PoeticErotica
Btw, this is my [third | italic] time trying to post this. First the power flickered long enough to knock out the router twice in a row then I went and apparently hit the hot key on my keyboard to turn the wireless network adapter on and off. And, of ... more
Probably not all that but I MIGHT tap you to give us a lecture on how to properly write Haiku!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Lickable Lollie
I think she learned her lesson. She seemed to feel really guilty about what she had done.
Unless she really likes the spankings...those masochists always throw a wrinkle in things.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Kake aka PoeticErotica
We should start a thread for ppl looking to read/edit/critique and those looking for them.
That's a great idea! We can even hashtag it so it stays put and is easily accessible.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Kake aka PoeticErotica
We should start a thread for ppl looking to read/edit/critique and those looking for them.
There are some pitfalls there, just in having it open to that extent and trolling. But, it's not a bad idea.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
Unless she really likes the spankings...those masochists always throw a wrinkle in things.
Indeed! Perhaps she did it just to be punished!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
Unless she really likes the spankings...those masochists always throw a wrinkle in things.
See? I was thinking the same thing! I'm not much for humiliation but a good spanking?? OOOOH ya.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
See? I was thinking the same thing! I'm not much for humiliation but a good spanking?? OOOOH ya.
Exactly!!! I agree!!!
05/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Have you noticed how many layers the critiques have added to what ScarletFox thought was a simple story about something that happened to her? Notice how each reader took something different away from the story.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Sounds fantastic to me! I'm excited about it, you've been teasing me all day!
I'm excited too! I just, totally out-of-nowhere and unplanned, wrote a 2nd person piece in present tense. For readability's sake and my own sanity, I'm totally wimping out and switching it to 1st-person past but I really wish I could pull off a good story in 2nd-person. I love that sense of immediacy you get when it's done well, like in "Bright Lights, Big City" (the novel, not the Michael J. Fox movie that was "based" on the novel).
05/14/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I have no idea if the second story posted on your page is meant to be another entry for us to discuss. I don't see the author here tonight, though...
I am pretty sure it was. Just a new face to the group trying to figure out exactly how all this posting stuff works.

BTW, I am off soon to eat dinner (been grilling burgers whilst I have been on). Check your stories for my feedback on them tonite and tomorrow. And it is great seeing new authors here as well!
05/14/2012
Contributor: ScarletFox ScarletFox
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
Unless she really likes the spankings...those masochists always throw a wrinkle in things.


Normally, I wouldn't say no to a good one. But with everything this was certainly crossed that line from a fun one to a punishment.
05/14/2012