#EdenLit - February Meeting 2/13/2012 at 7pm EST

Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Reading through the other stories...feeling a lil intimidated lol, those of you who posted, these stories are awesome.
02/13/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ok I just read over the Love at Snow Lake thinking I would find it wasn't quite as good as I remembered it the first time....IT IS!!! WOW
What a sweet, tender, warm and well described story. Welcome to our club Passionatelover2 and PLEASE ... more
I think when most of my story is true, I can express my thoughts better! I need to work on the more spontaneous writings!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I think the wording got to me on this one. For example he used words like "trembling" over "shaking", and phrases like "Its glow radiated a soft hue against the large soft bear rug lying in front."
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Very, VERY sensual story!
02/13/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
I think the wording got to me on this one. For example he used words like "trembling" over "shaking", and phrases like "Its glow radiated a soft hue against the large soft bear rug lying in front."
PS. I do appreciate your constructive comments!! I am here to learn!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
I think the wording got to me on this one. For example he used words like "trembling" over "shaking", and phrases like "Its glow radiated a soft hue against the large soft bear rug lying in front."
I agree! The phrases and wording really evoke a picture in my mind
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
PS. I do appreciate your constructive comments!! I am here to learn!
LOL!! It's part of the job!!! I know I don't write near as well as others, but I am a very good critiquer!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Cedar's Susie Cleans Up was cute and refreshing...pun intended!
I have this constant fantasy about having a guy shave me...loved this story!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
I'd say you both were bang on the money.

Airen- your's was like a journal entry or a letter you would write to yourself for later on in life to remember. Vague, but detailed in other ways.

Cedar- his was more elegant in his ... more
Exactly Woman! isn't it amazing how the same sort of topic can be filled out in different ways?
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by SmutGeek
Reading through the other stories...feeling a lil intimidated lol, those of you who posted, these stories are awesome.
Don't be intimidated just keep writing! We'll do a bit more of an indepth look at different "voices" in writing in a few minutes...
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
LOL!! It's part of the job!!! I know I don't write near as well as others, but I am a very good critiquer!
Pfffft ~snort
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Exactly Woman! isn't it amazing how the same sort of topic can be filled out in different ways?
It is what I like about having some of the set topics.

Like Mimi (I think it is Mimi!!!) her blog post about chocolates. Made me think of a "Chocolate Virgin" where Silverdrops story made me think of wanton lust for sex dipped in chocolate.

And now I think I am going to the store this afternoon for chocolate.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Pfffft ~snort
Oh pish posh Airen darling!!!

I know I have talent and am a decent writer... but not as good as others out there!!! That is what I was trying to say!!! I have to attempt modesty you know!!!

And yes. Harold has a HUGE ego.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
It is what I like about having some of the set topics.

Like Mimi (I think it is Mimi!!!) her blog post about chocolates. Made me think of a "Chocolate Virgin" where Silverdrops story made me think of wanton lust for sex dipped in ... more
Perfect time of year for it...
02/13/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I really do need to make time to read more of these, I'm missing out on so much I think! Sorry for just lurking, I just don't feel like I have much to add to tonight's conversation!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Don't be intimidated just keep writing! We'll do a bit more of an indepth look at different "voices" in writing in a few minutes...
Yes!!! Please keep writing!!!

I enjoyed your work... and honestly, I don't say that very often! I liked how it was pure and simply innocent driven.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I really do need to make time to read more of these, I'm missing out on so much I think! Sorry for just lurking, I just don't feel like I have much to add to tonight's conversation!
Ahhh there is the pretty lady avatar!!!!
02/13/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
All this talk about cholocate is also in Silverdrop "Pure". I liked the connection you were developing between the pleasures of the Pure Wand and the luxurious Lindor truffles! It was sensual!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Ok several Month's back the club members began wondering if there was a way for us to possibly elevate the meetings from just a gather and talk about what we had written.
I would like to start doing just that this Month. I have prepared a bit of a refresher about Narrative perspective and I thought we would focus on First person narrative to begin with.

First person storytelling- In a first person narrative the narrator is telling the story from their personal perspective. Usually they are recounting a memory or account of a previous happening, though they could also be telling the story in real time. The trick for the author is to remember to use the proper tense and to describe the events as they unfold rather than glossing over important details.
Remember that your audience cannot see, smell, hear or taste what your character is seeing, smelling, hearing or tasting. To be really effective the author must remember that actions should be described in a logical fashion. As we discussed before, when awakening groggy from being abducted it is illogical to assume that the person "Suddenly" notices they are bound. The process is gradual but the reaction can be sudden and violent. So I would become aware with a series of small tugs and flexings that I am bound and then, possibly, suddenly begin thrashing around. The point being that the logical reaction, unless the character is distracted by something else, say someone nibbling on their toes, they won't 'suddenly' realize something as monumental as being bound hand and foot.
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
It is what I like about having some of the set topics.

Like Mimi (I think it is Mimi!!!) her blog post about chocolates. Made me think of a "Chocolate Virgin" where Silverdrops story made me think of wanton lust for sex dipped in ... more
Haha I kind of feel the same way after reading Silverdrop's
Sort of like 2 ends of the spectrum
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
The narrator in a first person narration may or may not be the primary focus of the story. They may or may not be privy to the thoughts and motivations of the other characters. If you decide that your character does know intimate thoughts of other characters in the story you need to make the audience understand how and why this character knows this information. Are they guessing based on previous experience or are they truly omniscient?
When writing in first person narrative the author should use language that reflects personal perspective: 'I, or we' when referring to themselves. it is generally a mistake to switch perspectives in the middle of a story without an acknowledged break in the story. For example when using the alternating perspective the author should fully explore interaction between the characters from each of the narrators point of view before switching to present another perspective. The author should be very careful to establish just exactly who is the focal character...unless the story demands that this information be withheld from the reader. This is done with the use of chapters or simple paragraphs. If you change focal points with spoken sentences then you must begin a new paragraph beginning with the quoted work. Then you can proceed to share the perspective of this character in the first person. This is often tricky and can read as choppy and disconnected. Generally this shifting focus style of writing is coupled with the Omniscient Narrator style where the second and even the third person language is used throughout the story.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Ahhh there is the pretty lady avatar!!!!
Hello!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Does that make sense to everyone?
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ok several Month's back the club members began wondering if there was a way for us to possibly elevate the meetings from just a gather and talk about what we had written.
I would like to start doing just that this Month. I have prepared a bit ... more
So well put! I have had problems with just this sort of stuff myself. Keeping things in a logical order takes real effort and proofreading to the nth degree
02/13/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Does that make sense to everyone?
I believe so.
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Does that make sense to everyone?
Yea pretty much
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
makes sense to me!
02/13/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
The narrator in a first person narration may or may not be the primary focus of the story. They may or may not be privy to the thoughts and motivations of the other characters. If you decide that your character does know intimate thoughts of other ... more
So in my story, when I used the word "you" it allowed me to describe the images in first person?
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Ok so with that small lesson let's challenge ourselves to write at least one story with the previous lessons in mind:
Keep sentence structure simple and evocative,
Keep the language relevant,
Remember the narrative perspective you are writing from.

For this Month we'll concentrate on the first person perspective only. This means using I and we language and sharing only the perspective of the focus of the story. We will be recounting a memory and it can be ANY memory non-sexual as well as sexual as the author chooses. It can be non-fiction or fiction but the focus and the grammar needs to stay in first person perspective. We are not omniscient in this work so we will have to let our secondary characters have their own memories, perspectives and private thoughts. In other words we only know what our primary character is thinking or feeling at any given time.
Remember to keep the sentence structure fairly simple and use ordinary language as often as possible to evoke a sense of shared memory with your reader.
We will assign a simple tried and trite literary beginner to our work by starting each story/memory with: It was a dark and stormy night.

First topic choice!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
So in my story, when I used the word "you" it allowed me to describe the images in first person?
First person is I and we language. If, however, your main character is speaking then he/she can say whatever he/she wants. It is only when the narrator begins to speak that the first person perspective should be maintained.
02/13/2012