The New Intimacy

What would you do if your partner couldn't perform in bed and won't seek help?

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Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Related to: 
Tuesdays With Nina: Husband is Impotent and Won't Seek Help
Nina received a letter from a woman who's husband cannot have intercourse, will not seek help, and will not be intimate with her or satisfy her. Nina gave some great advice. Check it out! link

What would you do in this situation?
02/01/2012
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I divorced him ... it was just one of the many things he wasn't holding up in his part of the marriage.

I should add that there was nothing truly wrong with him medically - he simply refused to find out why he seemed to have a low libido. Instead, he called my sex drive 'freakish' because I actually had a drive.
02/01/2012
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I would leave. If he were willing to get help, I'd be willing to stay and try and help work through the medical or psychological issues behind it. But if he was just a closed book who refused to deal with the problem, I'd find someone else. Sexuality is just one facet of a relationship - I'd leave anyone who had any major issue affection a part of our relationship if they flat out refused to deal with it, whether it be sex, communication, etc.
02/01/2012
Contributor: EnChAnTiNg EnChAnTiNg
I'm actually not sure what I would do. I would first try to figure out the reason why he will not seek help (ie. embarrassment, shame, etc.). I would then try to help him overcome that fear and see if he would get help. If he absolutely refused, then I may begin to threaten to leave, seeing if maybe that would push him to do it. I do not know if I would leave.

It is one thing to be impotent... but to refuse to please your wife in any manner, is very strange. I think there is something deeper that is affecting this marriage, and I think marriage counceling may be the first step.
02/01/2012