The New Intimacy

Worst. Holiday. Gifts. EVAR

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Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Related to: 
The Bloggess: 10 non-returnable gifts that are probably worse than anything you’ll get this Christmas
So, The Bloggess' column this week had me reminiscing over bad gifts past... (and hoping for no bad gifts future!) - and I think this is always a fun conversation, so do tell: What were your worst gifts, given and received?

Given - I don't think I've ever *really* given Bad bad gifts... I did one year give my kids a shared gift of a new fancy Dust-Buster, sort of as a joke but to help them clean up their freakin messes. Every year I do bring a funny gift (along with a "real" gift) to the family White Elephant Pollyanna thingie - and one year that gift was a Jesus action figure! Ok - so anyway!

Received - hmm... a frying pan (yeah, I know), a 101 Dalmatians day planner (I don't even like dalmatians - AND I was like 25 years old at the time), and numerous articles of bad/ugly/WTF clothing.

Go ahead, it's your turn now... we wanna know
12/24/2009
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Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Painted.Wooden.Fish
12/24/2009
Contributor: Dragon Dragon
The astronaut cow that landed on the moon... From Houston.

(I had to log in... Thanks Victoria!)

Merry Christmas Everyone!
12/24/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
I've never gotten any, and I do not believe that I've ever given any either. How very boring! I like it that way. HAHA!

Well, my older sibling bought me cologne that I don't wear. I asked her, "Why did you buy me such expensive cologne when I will not wear it?" Then she complains that my cologne is too strong, when the one that she gave me was stronger. She's very funny. But that's really all that I can think of!
12/24/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Painted.Wooden.Fish
Haha...what did you do with it?
12/24/2009
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I had an aunt that used to buy me clothes every year, and one year she for some reason purchased a package of underwear for me that could have passed as shopping bags. I probably could have pulled the things up to my boobs they had so much fabric to them. The bad part is, they *did* fit, so it wasn't a matter of size, they were actually meant to fit like that!
12/24/2009
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
scratch off lottery tickets are the WORST!

If you don't win anything on them, guess what you got for X-mas...NOTHING!
12/24/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
scratch off lottery tickets are the WORST!

If you don't win anything on them, guess what you got for X-mas...NOTHING!
weird, too - because SO many people give those!!!
12/24/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
scratch off lottery tickets are the WORST!

If you don't win anything on them, guess what you got for X-mas...NOTHING!
I disagree. You get hope, fun and a distraction for a couple minutes.



The fish floated around my room for years until I threw it out.
12/24/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I should add this to be fair.. it was my my aunt who always gives us crazy gifts. One year she sent me leather gloves "to strangle someone with"
12/24/2009
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
When I was a child I gave some pretty bad gifts. Not intentional, I was very young haha.

i received...umm...well, maybe never really a bad gift, but a shirt with a pocket in it (not my style)
12/24/2009
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
The first year we were together for Christmas, my boyfriend and future ex-husband got me a hair dryer, which was at least, useful...

What made it worse is, my best friend started seeing her boyfriend at virtually the same time I started seeing mine and for their first Christmas, he got her diamond stud earrings. :\
12/24/2009
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
I just got back from my in-laws celebration and when I opened my gift it was a cookbook entitled "The Lighter Side of Southern Cooking: From Fat to Thin For Life!"

Yeah...

The cover was complete with a before and after photo of the woman who created the recipes. I tried to hide my embarrassment and hurt feelings, but I don't think I did very well because my mother-in-law apologized profusely before I left. Telling me that she didn't mean anything by it, but had been so caught up with getting gifts for the 8 grandkids that she misplaced the one she bought for me and decided to give me the one she bought for herself. She promised to give me the one she bought as soon as she finds it and told me I could throw the other one at her if I hated it, but she wanted me to know she didn't think I needed to lose weight.

She also got me a kick ass 8 GB memory card for my new camera, so all was not lost. It was just kind of shocking to open that in front of everyone.
12/24/2009
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
My grandmother (black sheep g-ma) sent me broken Valentine's Day cookie cutters. Used.
12/24/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
The passive aggressive gifts take the cake tho... like, um, several garish packages of dollar store makeup. Yeah...
12/29/2009
Contributor: ToyingCouple ToyingCouple
My aunt gave me one of those blow-up clowns you punch with the squeaker nose. You know the kind with a weighted bottom so after you smack it it comes back up for another fisting...... I was 13!!!! But I had something to take my frustrations out on too.
12/29/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyingCouple
My aunt gave me one of those blow-up clowns you punch with the squeaker nose. You know the kind with a weighted bottom so after you smack it it comes back up for another fisting...... I was 13!!!! But I had something to take my frustrations out on ... more
That's actually kinda cute!
12/29/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
The passive aggressive gifts take the cake tho... like, um, several garish packages of dollar store makeup. Yeah...
Passive aggressive gifts are the best/worst. So hilarious, but so wrong.
12/29/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
So, The Bloggess' column this week had me reminiscing over bad gifts past... (and hoping for no bad gifts future!) - and I think this is always a fun conversation, so do tell: What were your worst gifts, given and received?

Given - I ... more
OMG I would totally love a Jesus action figure! LOL
My Mother gathered up all our jewelry my sister and I left laying around the house and gifted it back to us at Christmas.

My Mother was incensed when Sigel bought me a blender for Valentine's Day one year. I had to explain to her it was part of a package...he bought daquiri fixings and the blender because I had said that I had never tried one. Was the sweetest, oddest gift I ever received that I couldn't use...I got pregnant for the first time that night! By the time we had a day off work where we could explore daquiris I had had the pregnancy confirmed and *sigh*.

The next time we tried to make them...bought all the fixings and were waiting for the right day and BANG pregnant again. Now I wonder if it was the blender that kept getting me pregnant....
02/06/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I should add this to be fair.. it was my my aunt who always gives us crazy gifts. One year she sent me leather gloves "to strangle someone with"
She was just being thoughtful. Every girl needs a good high quality pair of leather gloves to mask fingerprints at the crime scene...
02/06/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
The first year we were together for Christmas, my boyfriend and future ex-husband got me a hair dryer, which was at least, useful...

What made it worse is, my best friend started seeing her boyfriend at virtually the same time I started seeing ... more
Wow just wow...
I got diamond earrings from Sigel our first Christmas, made all my girlfriends jealous as hell since most of them had turned him down at one time or another. SUCKERS!!!
02/06/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
scratch off lottery tickets are the WORST!

If you don't win anything on them, guess what you got for X-mas...NOTHING!
One year, we decided to do that as a group for fun. We had other gifts, but we spend like 15$ each and make a scratching fest.
Just the tickets, not the crabs.
02/06/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
So, The Bloggess' column this week had me reminiscing over bad gifts past... (and hoping for no bad gifts future!) - and I think this is always a fun conversation, so do tell: What were your worst gifts, given and received?

Given - I ... more
Jesus action figure, that's EPIC. It's a WIN!

I wonder who would win between the Jesus action figure and the Chuck Norris one...? Let's take bets!!!
02/06/2010
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
I've gotten the usual train-wreck clothing from grandmothers, but I think the worst gift I've ever gotten was for this Christmas. I make and sell jewelry as a hobby. To give you an idea of the level of hobby this is: my preferred materials are semiprecious stone, lampwork, swarovski, and precious metal beads; when I'm willing to sell, each piece nets an average of $20-$40. So, knowing this, what does my cousin decide would be the best present EVAR? A big of the big, shiny, plastic pony beads you let 5 year olds play with. He redeemed himself by also giving me a Barnes and Noble gift certificate.

The worst present I've ever seen received was given to my dad this year, by his little brother. (who, by the way, is 49) It was a can of pecans. Nothing special about them, he just opened a bag of pecans, poured them into a small unmarked can, and shipped them. Knowing that their mother sends us a few pounds of fresh pecans from the orchard down the road every year. I've never personally seen someone more hurt by a gift.
02/06/2010
Contributor: deceased deceased
I got two gifts this christmas. One young lady gave me fuzzy purple socks. My feet are way too long too fit in them, but it was nice someone thought of me. My ex gave me an XL t shirt in a print similar to one I wear alot that came with a note "If you ever break your leg or stop living at the gym you are going to be very fat." (Note: she sounds like my mom sometimes)

Joy to the world, I swear.......
02/07/2010