Well for starters, the anus has a few thousand nerve endings much like the head of the penis and the vagina. So, many find pleasure stimulating it, some do not. It is a personal thing that you will have to decide if you like it or not.

One thing to remember, and keep this in your mind at all times. If any pain is felt, stop. Anal play should not hurt! Pain is the body's way of telling you something is wrong. Don't let any body tell you different, and do not use any numbing type spray's. If you can not feel the pain you will not know when something is wrong.

If you are concerned with the "mess" you can use a anal douche. Just some warm water works good, but it is not always needed. If a douche is used wait about an hour or so, as it will wash away the anal mucous that helps protect your rectal walls. You can also use a latex type glove, this will also help keep sharp nails from scratching the outer/inner tissues.

I recommend for starters using your fingers and a good lube. Start with a nice shower then get comfy. It also helps to be sexually excited, start of with some clit stimulation or even a dildo, what ever works for you. Start by massaging the outer area while working some lube in. When you feel you are ready, apply some pressure using the pad of your finger. Try to relax and not tense up. When you are relaxed the finger will slip in with ease. After that does what ever feels good. Remember to relax, go slow and add lube as needed.

Once you are comfortable with fingers you can move on to toys. Make sure they have a good base to keep them from going inside. Unlike the vagina, toys can get stuck in the rectum and it may need a trip to the ER to have them removed. Not fun.

Furthermore, unless the toy can be sanitized (silicone is your best bet), do not switch between the vagina and the ass unless a condom is used. Anal bacteria is not good for the fauna of the vagina.

If you are looking to have anal sex, it could take a couple of months to get to the point where you can take a penis with no pain.

Like I said, some like it and some don't. Only you can decide. less

What Tim said.

I have a few things to add, from a woman's perspective and a woman who loves receiving anal sex.

There are very thick water based lubes great for anal play and anal sex. My favorite is Sliquid H20 Ride and an other is Sliquid Booty Formula. Both are THICK (which you want in an anal lube) and have no glycerin, which may be bad for your vagina, if it drips down.

My Man trained me to love anal sex over a period of a few months. We started with him just petting and a little rimming (analingus, like oral sex, but near the butt. Of course, only after a very thorough bath) and then worked up to inserting a finger, well lubed. We tried some "starter" toys, but I didn't care for them back then. We went from fingers and play to straight up anal sex after a few months of learning.

I found out that I usually HAVE TO have an orgasm before anal sex. It relaxes me, and I find myself even more turned on after an orgasm or two or three. We usually have oral sex, PIV some, then more oral, then grab some toys and a wand vibrator so I can come, if we are going to have anal sex. We also found that I am much more into anal sex if I am also being penetrated vaginally, so we usually use a phallic vibrator or dildo in addition to the anal sex. A lot of woman find the familiar feeling of vaginal penetration actually makes anal penetration easier. PLUS, the vibe or dildo often will be pushed into your G Spot during anal sex, which is amazing!

Later, we found out, after learning what relaxes me, that we did like a few anal toys. I prefer teardrop or round toys, but we do have a few finger shaped plugs as well. (All good anal toys should have a large flared base for safety.) We also have a few sets of anal beads. In our house, any set of beads not silicone was thrown out, as we had some jelly beads, but they are porous and can transmit bacteria. No more jelly stuff for us anymore.

I also like to sometimes use a butt plug during PIV sex, it enhances PIV (penis in vagina) sex and feels amazing.

People always ask, "What do you get out of it?" I mean, what do you get out of any form of sex? It feels good! The anus is very sensitive and if treated nicely, stimulation and penetration of this organ can bring a lot of pleasure.

So, for us, it requires a good bath (you want to be clean, and not to be too graphic, but if you've used the toilet in the last 6 to 8 hours and DO NOT feel like you have to go, chances are you will not run into any mess. We never have.) lots of genital play, (sometimes with a butt plug, or not, depending on our mood) an orgasm or three for me, good, thick healthy lube, and relaxation, and it's fantastic!

If done properly, anal sex can put you into the stratosphere, in terms of altered states.

Take your time, STOP if it hurts, relax, breathe, have a good orgasm from oral sex or a vibrator (or both, as we do) first, relax with some PIV sex, maybe use some vaginal penetration, get comfortable and GO SLOWLY at first.

Good luck.

(Why do we not have a "butt" smiley?) less

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. I am still deciding about trying it, though I have started using my fingers with no problem so far, and I have liked that. I don't know how much farther I want to go.

A guy I was talking to last night about it was telling me just go slow and use tons of lube. He said he tried going slow with tons of lube with two different females and both got torn down there pretty bad...Makes me ehhh about that for sure! less

Honey, if they "got torn down there pretty bad" then he wasn't doing it right, nor was he going slowly enough, nor using enough lube. My guess is his "technique" needs some work.

So many people have anal play with no pain or consequences that if ONE guy "tore up" two women, I'm guessing he had NO idea what he was doing.

It shouldn't tear up an otherwise healthy person, if done correctly.

There's a great book called Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and it will give you all the info you need for safe, healthy, sexy, erotic anal play. less

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. I am still deciding about trying it, though I have started using my fingers with no problem so far, and I have liked that. I don't know how much farther I want to go.

A guy I was talking to last night about it was telling me just go slow and use tons of lube. He said he tried going slow with tons of lube with two different females and both got torn down there pretty bad...Makes me ehhh about that for sure! less

Yeah I have had that in the past where guys just tried slipping it in. Didn't even hardly go in and that was painful as hell! One guy got punched for it! I mean I was like "You can't sneak up on me like that!"..

But since being on this site I noticed alot of people like anal. So I thought of trying it out maybe just playing using my fingers and then maybe toys. I don't know when I will be comfortable enough to go for straight anal sex.

@ P'Gell Thanks! I will order that book with one of my upcoming orders!


Thanks everyone for the advice! I had NO idea about alot of this to be honest. I was always like "Nope, nothings coming near my ass!" less

Honey, if they "got torn down there pretty bad" then he wasn't doing it right, nor was he going slowly enough, nor using enough lube. My guess is his "technique" needs some work.

So many people have anal play with no pain or consequences that if ONE guy "tore up" two women, I'm guessing he had NO idea what he was doing.

It shouldn't tear up an otherwise healthy person, if done correctly.

There's a great book called Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and it will give you all the info you need for safe, healthy, sexy, erotic anal play. less

Nobody should sneak anal penetration on an other person. It really is not nice. Of course, it's up to you to decide if you like it and want it or not. Some people simply don't care for anal play. That's OK. It's not a contest. My Man trained me for anal sex, and it took over a month of nearly daily play sessions, slow and easy and stopping whenever I felt uncomfortable, and NOT doing it when I didn't want to. It took us close to a month for us to get to full anal sex. Some people like to train with small toys (the Orion Plug of Lust Small is a nice one, as is the Cal Exotics Crystal Cote, if you like a more finger shaped toy) others prefer fingers (with trimmed finger nails on them) We started with a small toy, and I didn't care for it, until after we had gotten more into anal sex. But, some people prefer toys from the beginning. Go on what YOU are comfortable with. The book will be helpful.I wrote an article about beginner toys and about half way down is a few paragraphs about toys for beginners to anal play. link to beginner toys article. I hope it can help you. less

This post is SO helpful!

I've been working on anal penetration and anal sex alone and with my boyfriend for a while now.

P'Gell, I LOVE your tip about vaginal penetration during anal play making the anal penetration easier. I've wondered about double penetration, but I was worried it might make things more difficult given my beginner anal status. I'll definitely give that a try less

Good luck. This was actually My Man's idea. He didn't make it up, of course, but I didn't think of it, he did when we first did it. "Here let's try your favorite vibrator in there, and see if it makes things better." OMG, it did! We've never had any problem with "not enough room" and I think as women are used to vaginal penetration, and it feels so good, it helps make the transition to anal sex along with a dildo or vibrator used vaginally. I actually found it easier this way in the beginning, and I like it this way more now. I really like DP better than plain anal sex, although I will take straight anal, too. Heck, I'm easy.

I realized I have to have an orgasm first, most of the time. For me, this is really important. My Man is a big believer in "Ladies come first" (at least for my first orgasm) so we naturally worked it in. Then, having an other orgasm while having anal sex is......fantastic..... less